Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011:Â my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK.  I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Paula says
Life certainly is not a magazine cover. You are a strong woman and have held your head high through this rough patch in your life. I hope that you one day do find true love. You are too special of a person not to!
Lori says
When you have your health…you have everything, the rest will fall into place. All the best to you, dear Rhoda!
Lori B
Wanda P. says
Rhoda, I can see God’s hand in your life. God gave you to me as a special friend many years ago. That friendship directed my path to stay closer to Him. YES, God has you in his hands and I love how you share that with everyone. All I can say is…. the book is going to be a good one! I have some ideas swimming around in my head to start a business. I need to, like you said, JUST DO IT!
Dara Lynn says
Rhoda….From the bottom of my heart, thank you for giving me hope this morning…..giving voice to so many of us going through really tough times. Having faith in God is having faith in His timing.
Laura says
Rhoda,
This is for you! God Bless You, you give me such strenght in all I am going through too.
God’s Hands
Today is in God’s hands and so are you.
His hands are strong and will uphold you;
His hands are great and will enfold you;
His hands are gentle and will embrace you;
His hands are protective and will cover you;
His hands are reassuring and will quiet you;
His hands are powerful and will defend you;
His hands are parental and will train you;
His hands are masterful and will conform you;
His hands are compassionate and will care for you;
His hands are healing and will renew you;
His hands are calming and will comfort you;
His hands are giving and will bless you.
The hands that hold you will never let you down.
-Roy Lessin, DaySpring co
This is for you! God Bless you, you give me such strength in all I am going through.
Patty says
I’m one of your “lurkers”; love your blog. Having coffee early this morn to see what’s going on and found your thoughts. You are still young, beautiful and full of talent; you’re going to do great things. And, you’re going to be very successful at design–so please remember to write that book because millions of women who are or will have to go through what you’ve endured will need that encouragement–to see that everything happens for a reason; to get out there and make it happen. Thanks for being such an inspiration; far more than you realize.
Sue says
Your best post ever! Thanks for sharing. He IS in control! Thanks for sharing the truth of His victory over our circumstances, if only we invite Him in. As much as we enjoy beautiful homes and all the eye candy we see in blog land, it can all be gone in a moment. Knowing that we can have a mansion in eternity- now that IS something to blog about! You just did it!
Sue
Judy Clark says
Mornin’ Rho:
Yes, you have come through so much in the last year. I have seen the hand of God work miracles for you. He has truly brought you out of the wilderness. I prayed for you so many nights that you would be safe in the midst of the storm that you were going through. You are a beautiful, strong, talented child of God. Your family is amazing. You are so blessed to have your Mom, Dad, Sister and precious Lauren. Those treasures can never be taken away. I am blessed to know you and to call you my friend. L, Judy
Violet says
Thanks for sharing your heart, I really appreciate your words of encouragement. Life has definitely thrown some curve balls at my family lately but we are just trusting in God & standing firm and believing that things will be better soon. You have been an inspiration to me this past year!
Becki Foster says
This must have been a hard posting for you, but also therapeutic in a way to get it “out there.” We don’t know what is happening in those beautiful homes – but we know that they are real people too. They are going through day to day trials, job loss, deaths, floods, etc., just like the rest of us. I look forward to your blog each day or so and hope you are around for a long time. God bless you and keep you.
Kirsten says
You seem like a beautiful woman–with beauty born from adversity and trial and hardship. God is faithful–thanks for the reminder!
stacey says
Thanks for your honesty. It is refreshing. I love real. Transparency is hard to come by. Thanks for yours. I have had many opportunity in life to persue things that if fear dictated my decisions, I wouldn’t have done. My move 3 hours north for ministry so my husband could pstor a church, selling my beautiful home to make the move possible, helping my Father with his illnesses, making a career shift, and now, contemplating a little business endeavor with a friend. So many hard choices and fear to go along with each. But…trusting in God through it all. Jesus is my strength and I know He wants to prosper me. I juts pray, try to discern what’s best and his Will for me and trust He will help me through. Take care and thanks again for your honesty!
Stacey of Embracing Change
angela | the painted house says
What a beautiful, courageous, heartfelt post, Rhoda. Thank you for your honesty and wisdom. You are a beautiful person and it is evident that God is working with you and through you for great things–I can see that. I pray that you can continue to be comforted, encouraged, and faithful as you go through this journey. Hugs to you today!
Heidi @ Show Some Decor says
Such wonderful words of encouragement, Rhoda! God Bless you, my friend. 🙂
Mrs H in WV says
Good Morning, Rhoda, from one of your Wallflower followers 🙂 .
Thanks so much for sharing such a personal part of your life. From the first time I found your blog (can’t remember how I got here) I was drawn instantly to keep reading a following your writing. You come across as a very real down to earth long lost Southern sister in Christ. Seeing beauty in ashes, whether it may be someone’s .05 yardsale “junk” that you have marvelously transformed into a new appreciated, soft-after treasure (just like God will do with our brokeness if we allow Him) to your humor and even the not so fun things.
I’m so thankful you didn’t give up blogging I don’t get the opportunity to post much as I typically have my hands full being a stay at home mom and for the last 6 weeks I have been on hospital bedrest 2 hours from my family with twins on the way. It has been a challenge, and no this is not the magazine cover pregnancy with the perfect twin nursery waiting patiently for my girls’ arrivals. We are surviving and rolling with the punches, but keeping God at the center of what’s important in our family right now and appreciating all of the blessings that we take for granted on a daily basis..
Much love to you and May the Lord keep you and continue to bless you and your sweet family abundantly!
Ed says
I am one of those “lurkers” who reads your blog daily. You do a great job sharing the good and the bad and you’re a wonderful vibrant person.
Stay strong and open to change!
Lynn says
Wow! What a blessing you shared with the rest of us. Awesome, powerful, and true. Thanks for sharing your heart. You are so right. We usually share only the “good” stuff, we do not allow others to see the “bad and ugly”. You are an inspiration. I love reading your blog.
Bev says
No, life rarely turns out like we expect, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be good. I admire your attitude in adversity. I think it is a gift from God that at times when we’re going through trials, we can look beyond the immediate and know that whatever happens has been sifted through His hands.
Dixie Redmond says
That is so much to deal with. I came here via Miss Mustard’s Seed’s tweet. I am praying for you. Specifically that in the midst of all the mess you will find some ways to be creative and have fun…
Maybe for now that’s in someone else’s house. I am sure there are many people who would want your creativity!
Dixie
mona says
Rhoda, I love your post … over the last few weeks, I have started to share part of my journey on my blog too…this all sounds so familiar to me. I am a late 50’s girl that had to start all over about 17 years ago. I have been mostly silent about it but have really felt like it was time to start talking.. 🙂 when I started blogging about 18 months ago, I had no plan except the love of taking pictures and writing about life…I appreciate your vulnerability..this looks like a trend in blogland..it is time for the women to use their voices and tell their stories…so glad to hear yours….Bless you as you move forward….
Mona