Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011: my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK. I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Heather D says
Thank you for sharing your heart, sweet lady. I am praying for you. Remember God’s promise to us in Psalm 3:3: “But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head.” Praying the Lord shows you your worth today and lifts your head so that you may look up and keep going. Thank you again for sharing with all of your readers.
Arlene @At Home with the Grimms says
Rhoda…thank you for sharing from your heart. That is one of the reasons I like this blog. I think if we lived next door to each other we would be good friends!! My heart aches for you as you go through the deep waters but God has you by his Right Hand and He will bring you through. He can take our weakness and make us strong. I am going through a hard time dealing with an illness of a dear friend….it has been hard to pray believing. Today we are beginning to see a turning point and things look much brighter for my friend. And still I doubt…is this just another ‘up” on the roller coaster or is this an upward progression. Even when God answered specific prayer, I find myself doubting! We are all on a journey…I know God uses our experiences to refine us so that one day we will shine like pure gold. I try to remember this!! All this to say, I know none of us are perfect but we can encourage and pray for one another! We will all keep pressing on!!!
Nicole M says
Hi there,
I have been following your blog for a few weeks now and I love it. You have great design talent, and your Feature Friday’s never disappoint.(I’ve gone back through the older ones) But I have to say, this post has been the best I’ve read. Please do not misunderstand, I am in no way insinuating that your hardships are pleasing to me. It’s your take on all of it that makes it so wonderful! You have found comfort in the Lord and accepted His will, something that is not always an easy thing to do. I’m sure it was not always this easy for you, I can’t imagine the trauma you suffered in the beginning. However, in just a few short months you seem to have quite the understanding of His will and your faith is so inspirational! You in general are an inspiration to me and countless others, I’m sure. I am praying for you, for peace and comfort through this difficult time. God bless!
Tamela Moore says
Rhoda,
Oh what a precious post this morning! From the moment I first met you on your blog I knew that God had big plans for you (and I had to tell you so or burst 😉 Thank you for being transparent with the things that make you smile, happy, sad and even the things that have caused you great pain. I love you for that, sister! You have been really busy these past few weeks and so have I starting up my new business (which your story encouraged me to do), but I would love to get together again and show you what I was able to complete from your recommendations the last time we met. I was thinking the name of your book could be, Coffee in the Morning with Rhoda, what do you think it’s what I do just about daily. Have a blessed day and know I will be calling you soon.
Kelsey says
You know some blogs I visit for the picture perfect photos and inspiration. But your blog is more than that. Inspiration in photos, words, showing us that you never know how God can work all things for the good. You winning that chicken soup competition was so amazing! I mean wow, that was definetly God (not to take anything away from you and your mother’s cooking!). I even thought the judge helping your pick out the prettier pot for presentation was God’s doing. I am so totally proud of YOU for all your achievements but it is also neat to hear how God is working in someone’s life so strongly. Of course we readers realize there is troubles in your life but watching how God can use them to the good is a true joy! We all love you and hope you will soon have more than two houses!
Laurie says
What a great post Rhoda, with God’s help I know things will get better for you! How lucky you are to have wonderful parents and family to always be there for you! God bless always!
Sonya says
Thanks Rhoda for a real life true message to us all. I think we as women look at other women and their families and think……wow they have it all and have it all together. Usually, that is NEVER the case. Thanks for reminding us of that. We will never have it all together this side of heaven………God is ever molding us and remaking us everyday!
I am so sorry that you have had this storm in your life, but I know God will bring you through it and make good out of it ……….and use it ALL for His gory.
May God continue to bless you and the work you do.
Joyce H. Ackley says
Rhoda, what an inspiring story. You have touched many with your words of encouragement and hope. I pray that God will continue to bless you and guide you as you walk along this road with all its twists and turns.
Trix says
Thank you.
You were my first blog site I went to when redecorating our kitchen!
Like many others have already said your site is fun and inspiring.
A question: what type of computer and software do you use to do your blog?
I am treasuring an idea for a blog and want to get closer to the “Just Do It” phase,
Thank you again.
Ps yes, write the book!
God bless.
Tris
Patti Classen says
I have been one of your lurkers…….Read your blog each morning at the office. I have prayed for you and will continue to. Congratulations on getting to the place you are now – at peace with God and yourself regarding all that you have been through. Thank you that while you are trying to find your way in this new life you have reached out and given encouragement to others. I am one of those who is trying to reinvent herself; to get out of corporate America and into a creative business. It is slow going but I believe in my heart that I will get there. You are living proof that all good and prefect things (your peace and heart) come from God.
Meredith says
Just a quick hello from a long-time lurker to show my support. I love your blog and think you are doing a fabulous job during your difficult times. Thanks for sharing part of you with us.
Richella @ Imparting Grace says
I so appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable, Rhoda. Never would I have wished these difficulties upon you, but I am so grateful for the way you’re using even this to minister to others. I’ve found that most of the ministry opportunities that have come my way have resulted from the hard things I’ve had to deal with rather than from the good things. I think perhaps that the hard circumstances remind us that we’re dependent upon God and in that remembering we go back to our knees–and when we’re in that posture, God lifts our heads and shows us how he wants to bless us and use us in ways that we would never have dreamed of on our own!
I love you, Rhoda. You are so dear to my heart. Even though I’ve only met you in real life one time, I’ve felt close to you from the first time I ever read your blog. I’m so thankful to know you. I pray that God will bless you greatly. Thank you for being the real deal and for giving testimony of the goodness of God.
By the way, Streams in the Desert is a pretty good place to camp, isn’t it?
Sharon O says
I love your transparency, your honest assessment of yourself and your willingness to share within boundaries the reality of life as it is for you. God is good and He will keep you in perfect peace and blessings.
Barbara says
Wow…that is really putting yourself out there and I admire the fact very much! I too went through a divorce and from a man who could very well be in jail right now for all I know. But that was 14 years ago and I did have to start over, and I was scared. But now I am remarried and going on 9 years, have had the chance to travel, adopted two children, put myself through nursing school, and have only recently realized my passion for writing and sharing my love of food and decorating.
I will be 50 on November 7th, it’s only a few shirt weeks until I begin life on the other side of that number, and I know I will embrace it! I have learned more about myself in the last 14 years since my divorce, than I ever knew before. I have learned to let go and allow God to step in. I am not dropping my responsiblitiy to myself but more or less allowing devine intervention to guide my actions.
I am also blessed with a husband who supports me in all of my endevers. He has the “Just do it” attitude which has helped me to be less afraid of trying new things. I have to laugh because I was never an athelete of any sort, yet this coming November I will be running the NYC marathon and it is being run on November 6th, the last day of my 40’s, the day before my 50th birthday.
The one piece of advice I give to all the young people I know who are starting college this fall is to follow your dreams, do what you love to do most. Don’t wait to figure it out, don’t let other’s expectations guide your decisions, think, really think about what makes you happy, and above all else don’t be afraid to go for it!
So I applaude you and this post. You made me think and reflect. If this is the way and attitude in which you approach your life, then Rhoda, I know you will be way better than OK!
Barb Boyack says
Hi Rhoda, thank you for sharing the ups and downs of your recent life..sometimes when I read blogs, it DOES seem to mee that everyone else has it totally together..Its been a hard year for us, no divorce after 34 yearsd of marriage, all of which has had its ,ups and downs for sure, , but we filed for bankrkuptcy a year a go, we had no choice at our age of limited income and medical bills..all our lives we worked and paid our way, so to have to do that was so defeating. We are still trying to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps but it’s been really hard. We do still have our house and car, thank goodness..Mentally it’s been a rough go.
Sending prayers for you Rhoda, only good things ahead in your future♥
hugs,
Barb
Debbie L. says
Rhoda your words today have come at the right time. I am so heartbroken today. My life has been ripped apart by family circumstances. I sat down to the computer this morning with tears in my eyes wondering how our lives would go on. Your words spoke to me in such a way that was comforting and uplifting. Thank you for being so candid and being that bright light that shines for many to find their way when all seems dark. Your faith and strength witness to many.
I know the Lord has His hand in your life for many good things ahead Rhoda. I pray that you will be blessed beyond measure. You have a beautiful family:)
Janice says
Keeping it real is the hardest thing to do. In doing so, you inspire people. Sharing your story is up to you and it’s hard to open up about things that are personal but sometimes it’s therapeutic. I congratulate you for doing so. We learn from these life experiences. I was inspired by your story. You seem more relatable. God will see you through this and you will come out stronger.
Robin says
Dear Rhoda, I have been enjoying your blog for awhile now but this is my first time to comment. I came across your blog about a year after my husband passed away at the age of 57 on Christmas morning of 2008. Your words and photos showed a can-do spirit that I admired and that I always felt I too had, but grief has a way of taking all of the can-do out of a person. I saw photos of the laundry room you did and I thought I can do that too as my laundry room was in pretty sad condition. I did the re-do with no money and I love it. I even made a slide show of the before and after. I was grieving for my husband and I needed creative work to put my hands to. You inspired and encouraged me to use my God given gift and go back to that which I loved…making our surroundings beautiful with whatever I had to work with. I know you didn’t realize how you helped me but you did and I just wanted you to know. Now you are going through a time of grief yourself and I want to encourage you to continue to put your hands, your heart and your mind to the creative work God has given you. It is good medicine I can assure you for all who enjoy your “Southern Hospitality” blog and for you. Isaiah 61:3 tells us, “To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.” God Bless you Rhoda and God Speed.
Lynne says
Rhoda, I enjoyed reading your pep talk. Everything you said is so true and it really inspired me this morning as I head out to my Mothers home to help care for her. I bet your parents are loving have you back with them for a time. I’m sure you have brought much joy into their lives!
ladonna says
I am one of your lurkers but have to comment this morning; I loved your post. I loved your transparency and your willingness to share this part of your life with the world. Your post was inspirational and truly spoke from the heart. May you continue to feel God’s blessings.