We are getting closer to the date of October 1st when we move our parents into assisted living. It’s not going to be easy, but we know it’s the right choice. I will be keeping you all posted as we move along and get them settled. I know that so many people are praying for us and the move and for that we are so appreciative. We do hope my dad especially will adjust and settle in well, but it’s not going to be easy.
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This move will be more enotional than you plan for. Be Patient. It will not be at all what is expected by either of you. But do the best you can and you will all get through it. Deep down you parents will realise that you are doing your best. Be thankful you have siblings to share his with. It is so much harder when there is no one else in your family o share with. Good luck. It will be doe in a few weeks and hen yo can breathe and begin to live again.
Thank you, yes we know it’s not going to be easy. The only real unknown right now is how dad will react, but we’re expecting the worse and hoping for better.
Does your dad have any idea? I’ve been thru this and it was the hardest thing. I’m praying for you as you cross this bridge, that God will give your dad understanding.
HI Jan, we’ve tried to talk to him about moving in general and he won’t hear of it. Says he is staying in his house until he dies. So we have to do what is best for both of them and we are having to get him out of the house and then to the AL facility. It’s not going to be easy.
Rhoda, as others have said, it will be harder than you expect. Although my 102 year old Dad understood he should no longer live alone, the move has been difficult. Losing all your freedom in a structured environment is the hardest thing to adjust to. After four months, he is accepting but still longs for his former home and friends and neighbors. Just a tip, take fewer kitchen supplies than you think. With all meals provided, my Dad’s kitchen has never been used other than the coffee pot and cups. Has never used any dishes or pantry items.
Frequent visits has helped a lot in the adjustment. I know you will do that.
Thanks Pat, yes we will take minimal kitchen items, cups and saucers and a few pieces of silverware and yes, I know my mom is looking forward to the meals the most. She’s had that burden for far too long and is ready to give it up. We have all the big furniture pieces figured out so now it’s a matter of moving it all in next week and making it as homey as we can. I’ll be so close I can visit almost daily if needed.
Our concerns were always how is Daddy going to adjust to this that and the other challenge and it was always quiet considering and then “it’s with my woman so we’ll work it out” and they did ;even through 2 different cancers.
That’s good to hear, his reasoning is not good now so he can’t see things rationally.
The hardest thing is that they view their old life with rose colored glasses and you see the stark reality of their lives now. On the one hand, you don’t want to diminish their love filled memories because they sustain them when they are alone and on the other hand, how do you justify the move to them? In my experience, praying for guidance before you speak, giving them time to adjust, and lots of visits as well as making new memories perhaps with area outings would be very helpful. In our church here, we have people who have transitioned to assisted living, and we try to visit them regularly (Covid was difficult). Perhaps you could reach out to their church if it is nearby the facility and ask them how they might help you in this transition. The bigger your support network for visiting and keeping them focused on living their new lives is, the better. May God bless and guide you in the coming days!
Thank you, that’s all good advice. Unfortunately they left the church family they were in for a long while after my dad retired. The church changed and transitioned and many of the old timers left, so they have outlived most of those friends too. It’s really hard when most of their friends and even family are gone. We will do the best we can to get them settled in and I hope they grow to enjoy this new way of life. I’ll be so close so that will help too.
You are acting out of love and that truth always shines through. It really is hard when we outlive our friends. They are blessed to have you and your family to provide all this caring and loving! My prayers are with you and them.
Rhoda, I’ve been thinking about your parents a lot lately. You can be sure we’re all praying for you and them for a smooth-as-possible transition to their new home. When the time comes, I know well how important it is to get this done. May kindness and peace be with you as you help them make the transition. God Bless you all.
Rhoda, we are keeping you all in our prayers. We pray that this move for your dear Dad will go better than you thought and that when he sees some of their furniture in his new home that he will be able to accept being there. The Lord knows what you are going through and all of us will be lifting you up in prayer.