See that chair up there? The one I spend way too much time sitting my derriere in? Let’s talk girlfriend to girlfriend (you guys are welcome too) about a subject that I’ve been pondering over for awhile.
How in the world do we keep our lives balanced and keep up with this worldwide land of blogs?
That is the million dollar question and I do believe that we are all struggling with this across the blogosphere. We are all so plugged in these days that I fear we sometimes lose touch with reality and the truth is, I do not want to be connected and plugged in 24/7 and I refuse to do it.
I’m hitting my 3 year blogoversary the 1st of February and oh, my word, at how things have grown and evolved since I started my little ole’ blog back then. Blogging has sky-rocketed and now everyone from grandma, to great aunt, mom, niece, your best friend from college and her daughter has a blog. So, what does this mean for our sanity? I have to confess keeping the balance in blogging is not always easy. I spend hours at it, writing my posts, loading pics, and coming up with ideas to talk about and share.
Not to mention, trying SO hard to keep up with friends and blog buddies I’ve met out there. That is the most difficult thing and it has just gotten harder and harder to do. Most weeks, I barely make a dent in leaving comments, visiting with all of you and just getting myself out there. I think we are all spread so thin. Blogging has so many rewards, but there are also pitfalls too and I see some posts around the blogworld about this very subject.
- How do you keep your own unique voice and not get caught up in the competition with all the others out there in your niche? Hard to do, I’ll admit. There seems to be a certain amount of a competitive spirit that goes along with this blogging thang and I know that’s not healthy, is it? As a Christian, I know that’s something I have to keep in check, so here are a few things that I’ve observed and see out in blogland that could be hazardous to our health.
- How do we keep balance in our lives and not let blogging take over? Where is our validation coming from? I see so many new bloggers scrambling to get their name out there and grow their blog to be bigger and better. Nothing wrong with that, but I just hope the family doesn’t suffer for it. These are all things I deal with myself, so I’m just putting it in writing for you all to ponder too. I know if I struggle with these issues, many of you are too. We all LOVE comments, myself included. But, we can’t let comments and validation from blogging become the end all for our self-esteem. It has to come from God first of all and then our family.
- Moms and blogging – I’ve heard some mothers talk about needing to step back from blogging, because they feared their children are not getting the attention they deserve from blogging mama. That’s one of the things that I fear: young moms getting caught up in the blogworld and not having enough time for the little ones. Please don’t let that be you! Blogging is fun, but it’s not real life. We all have to keep our real lives in perspective and actually live them. I don’t have any children at home, but I do have a hubby that needs me.
- My friend, Melissa, just wrote a post about her struggles with this issue and she is turning off comments on her blog most of the time to help her with the balance and I think that is such a brave thing to do. Could you turn off your comments? I’m not sure I could. I love to hear from my readers!
- Growing a blog and advertising. I see so many getting caught up in the idea of making money from their blogs and this idea seems to have exploded in the last year. Yes, it can happen. I have advertising on my blog too, but I waited until I was blogging over a year before I even attempted to do any advertising and then I took it slow and easy and joined BlogHer ad network first before anything else was developed. I just hate to see so many getting caught up in the monetary part of blogging so much, scrambling to grow blogs for the sole reason of making money. I have read many cautions against that from much more savvy bloggers than I am and totally agree with it myself. Not every blog is going to grow big. That’s just a fact. And I don’t think you can predict that, it either happens or it doesn’t. Not to mention, it takes a lot of work to have a successful blog. Those who are successful with it are spending countless hours at it. And believe me, I’m not getting rich at it. It’s like a full-time job with part-time pay. But, I love it and enjoy it, so it’s worth it to me. So, all of that to say this. I urge you all to keep it in perspective. The blogworld is so big. There’s no way to develop deep friendships with everyone. I wish it was possibly for me to know all of you out there who come by and visit me so often, but that’s just not feasible either. I have enjoyed blogging so much and it has enlarged and enriched my life tremendously, but I don’t want to see people getting hurt in blogging and I can see burn-out happening and family life suffering. I’m talking to myself here too.
Here are my main struggles with blogging, see if any of these ring a bell with you too:
- Keeping those competitive feelings with others in my niche in check. Even with a fairly successful blog, there is always that nagging feeling of trying to keep your place in the blogworld. Will people keep supporting my blog or get bored?? What if I run out of projects to show, will people still keep coming back? The decor niche is exploding with projects and new blogs and no one can keep up with all of them.
- Feeling the urge to fly around the blogosphere every day, in fear that I will miss something important that is going on. I love to see all the projects, posts and things happening in the decorating/design world and yet I miss SO much, because there is only so much time in the day. If a few days go by, I really start to feel out of the loop and even more pressure to catch up. And the reality is, there is NO catching up! It’s just become impossible.
- Letting my housework fall to the side so many days, when I need to be more diligent about prioritizing and actually getting things done in real life that need to get done. I get lazy and procrastinate and would just as soon blog instead of getting up and moving. I used to be such a fanatic about housework, but the older I get, the more slack I cut myself.
- Not getting my validation from blogging. Again, that has to come from God above (and my loved ones) and not because I get a lot of comments or visitors. But, I love comments and hearing from all of you!
- I do manage to get to the gym and work out as usual, but I don’t get outside nearly as much as I used to. And I love being outside! I vow to do that more this year. I have a lot of projects I’d like to get finished in my yard too. It needs work!
So, join me as I endeavor to keep blogging in balance. Please try to keep it all in perspective and continue to be the voice and person that God made YOU to be. We are all so unique and hand-made by our Creator and he made us all different for a specific purpose. And I think that we all have a place here in this blogworld.
I’m getting ready to go to the Blissdom conference in Nashville in just a few short days. I went last year and had a blast and this year it’s going to be twice as big. I wish I could meet up with all of you, but I know that’s not possible either. If you are coming to Blissdom, please come and say hello. I want to meet you and hug your neck. And if you’re not going to Blissdom, don’t feel bad. It’s OK. Blissdom is just a fun conference, but it’s not going to make or break you as a blogger. It’s fun and there will be a bunch of people to meet, but at the end of the day, we all come back to our homes and our lives.
And we all have to find that balance. I’m still trying to find mine. And I’m not always successful. Housework falls through the cracks and projects don’t always get done. Blogging can just take over your head and your time and as much as I enjoy it, I want to make an impact in other ways too. And to do that requires me to get out of that computer chair. This is just one tool that God has given me to shine my light.
And for that I’m grateful!
How are YOU doing in the balance of blogging? I’d love to hear. This was rather a serious post and I would love it if you would share your hearts with me about your blogging journey.
Rhoda, thank you for this wonderful post! This week I was reminded that heaven is not HERE but THERE! We spend so much of our time trying to build “heaven” here on earth!!! Isn’t it amazing to know Christ is preparing our place…Oh and what a place it will be!!!!! I do believe God is trying to tell me something!
Oh Thank You, Thank You, ThankYou. As a newbie it is sometime hard to not feel so far behind all ready ( you know, should have started this years ago, I missed the window). I am trying to give myself guide lines from the beginning though, I allow myself 1 hour in the morning to caught up, and then when Hubby and my girls are watching TV at night, I am able to do more. I sit in the room with them, but don’t have to see 40 people fall down on America’s Funniest Home Video reruns. They rewind the dvr for me if they feel I have to watch something. But I do fear that they may resent the computer in my lap, maybe even that should be an every other night thing. You have given me lots to think about, and thanks for making me feel like I am not the only one.
Hi Rhoda, I had read Melissa’s post a few days ago and I felt sad for her and the family balance she was struggling to find. It’s interesting. Recently I noticed one an extremely popular blogger had posted at 3:30 a.m. and I wrote her to ask why she was posting at that hour! It’s true, blogging, Facebook and other online social networking tools can be consuming and it is not just adults. I recently saw a program about teenagers struggling with the same issues.
No doubt my blog has introduced me to some incredible people, and for that I am thankful, I just told my husband that I was joining a book club and his question was ” when are you going to squeeze that into your schedule, I mean with your blogging schedule.” It is something for me to thing about – I do spend a lot of time reading blogs!
I am constantly reminding myself of the reason I started blogging. I did it for an outreach and an outlet. I hoped that I could be of encouragement to someone out there, perhaps write posts that would make non Christians curious about the love of Jesus and I really wanted a place to keep a sort of journal.
When I get discouraged because I see others who are new with followers in the the three digits I can most often be satisfied to know that there is ministry happening at Hospitality Lane and that God knows exactly who needs to read the things that God is teaching me at any given time.
I do spend way too much time at it, though. Not the writing, necessarily, but reading other blogs and commenting.
Sure is fun!
Thanks for being so open and honest. Sounds like this could be a real topic for discussion at the Blog convention.
Love,
Becky K.
Great article and something for everyone to think about. Blogging should really be about the joy you get from it. It should be about journaling your life, hobbies, etc. I totally enjoy blogging. Family enjoys reading to see what is happening with me. It is fun. But it can be work too.
Have a blessed day
Rhoda,
I don’t struggle with the competativeness as my blog was designed for me as a way to grab inspiration and save for when I one day have a fab home like the rest of you. I do find it difficult to keep up sometimes though infact not to long ago I had to weed through & get rid of some of the ones that I used to follow. I blogged about it here: http://ourhopefulhome.blogspot.com/2009/11/weeding.html
I went from following 105 down to 52…though I must admit I have added a few more since. I have also started getting up early enough to check my blogs before its time to wake Hubs. Other than then I only check when he is watching something I don’t like. (I now enjoy football season as much as he does….that’s my blogging season 🙂 ) And as far as the housework goes, I think blogging has encouraged me to take care of my house more.
Wow Rhoda, great post! I hope it gives some women out there something to think about. I actually just addressed the subject of my blogging over a week ago on my blog here… http://cindis.blogspot.com/2010/01/happy-new-year.html
I’ve been blogging since July 2005 and I’m so glad I never got caught up in the having to have a ton of comments, or followers, or being one of the “it” bloggers. I’ve turned down advertising because I don’t want the stress of having to blog every day…it just doesn’t fit into my life with my daughter and family. I blog when I have something to share or say and when I have time. I was also afraid that I would feel like I had to gear my posts towards the advertisers or readers and post about cooking, decorating, crafts, etc. Basically, all of the before mentioned would suck all of the fun out of blogging for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love comments and followers but not because of the numbers but because I’ve touched someone somehow and maybe brought a little something into their lives. I’ve also “met” a few great women that have touched my life as well. In closing, blogging is a creative fun outlet for me. It’s the way I’ve chosen to express myself and journal our lives so that I may leave a legacy for my precious daughter.
Rhoda,
This is a wonderful post. I am struggling with all of the above. I have been praying that God would show me how to balance all of this blogging stuff. I have failed many times. I don’t want my kids to remember Mommy always having a computer on her lap. I’m trying to slow down a little bit. I have a lot of friends and family members that say that they look forward to my posts everyday, and sometimes I feel the pressure to not let them down. But my family is more important! Blogging can be so inspirational, but dangerous too. There is so much more life beyond blogland, and I don’t want any of us missing it!
Thanks for sharing this.
Traci
Rhoda, Kudo’s to you on a post well thought out and written. You said my sentiments and much better than I could have ever. Thanks for such a wonderful post.
When blogging becomes stressful because of the “post we need to create, pictures loaded, research done, etc. then it is no longer fun. I am guilty too of reading post and not commenting, because it is just hard and time consuming. One of the main reasons I started blogging was to form friendships with women with the same interest as me, but alas, if I don’t leave comments, they never know who I am, and I’m just a lurker.
Again, thanks for putting things back into prospective for many of us out there and btw, love your desk….all the clutter too. Looks like mine on most days. 🙂
Have a lovely weekend.
Hugs,
Cindy
What a great post, Rhoda! I think that balance is always a challenge for women given all of our family responsibilities, and the internet adds a whole new level to that. Rather than being connected just to the community of people in our own little “villages”, we have access to the entire world at our fingertips. It’s a blessing and a curse, but mostly a blessing, I think…if we can keep things in perspective!
Rhoda,
This post was so timely for me. I’ve been struggling with so many of the same issues. I don’t know exactly how to put into words it feels as a blogger who’s been around for a few years to suddenly (and it does seem rather sudden) feel lost at sea. At one time it felt like part of a community, where I knew all my neighbors and they new me. Now it’s as if I’m lost in a big city with fast cars flying by all around.
Some days I’m not sure I want to even be a part of the craziness that it has turned into. So much emphasis is placed on growing followers and sponsors and that makes me sad. Oh my, this is turning into a post rather than a comment. I’ll just say, Amen Sister!
A great post Rhoda, and an issue I know is on many bloggers hearts and minds. I too began blogging 3 years ago in February. I actually began it as a way to keep up with out of state friends & relatives and was so surprised when others found me! It has been a wonderful addition to my life and has opened new doors and opportunities and personal growth that has changed my life. But I struggle with the whole comments issue. I love getting them, and I wish I had more time to respond to everyone, but the fact is that I work part time, have a home to clean and do hours of sewing to supplement my income. The number of comments to respond to and blogs that I love to visit has grown to a number that I cannot comfortably fit time for. It makes me sad when I see people who write that blogging is cliqueish and hard to break into, or that blogging ettiquette dictates a response to every comment! I don’t want anyone to feel ignored but I simply cannot keep up with comments & visits. I have to set priorities and limits with my time and I can only hope that people understand that. My family and home and work and so many other things really must be my priority. Hopefully seeing articles like this one will help people understand that if they leave a comment and don’t hear back that it isn’t a personal insult. I too, have to periodically re-evaluate priorities and make adjustments. Thanks for your thought provoking honesty.
Rhoda,
Great post. This topic of balance is constantly on my mind. A friend and I decided to be each other’s blogging accountability partners. We actually email one another and ask for prayer if we feel like we are getting too into comments or feel like blogging is creeping to the top of our priority lists. We both struggle with playing the blogging compare game and it nice to know that we can look out for each other and not get to overwhelmed with blogging. I’ll be posting more on this topic at my blog soon!
Rhoda
It’s so true. We are both working full time and since we started our blog we spent even more time online. To be honest, life was much easier without computers and internet. It’s actually sad to see kids who grow up online and not with their friends playing outside and using their imagination. But, that’s our world today.
All the best as you approach your 3rd anniversary, and we hope you will continue your blog – it’s one of the best we found.
Cheers!
Kinga
http://www.blueloom.com
It has a way of taking over doesn’t it. Ditto for the other side of the coin: it becomes addictive for fans, followers, and readers, too. Starting out innocently enough–just wanting some ideas on how to get a house fixed up without spending $$$$$ + more $$$$$$ + more $$$$$$–it evolves into what can I make, do, build, change, or buy today to make things look better. . .and before you know it, it takes over. Soooo, same goes for me–finding the balance–some is OK, all-consuming is NOT OK! Thank you Rhoda for another helpful, thoughtful, right-on post. 🙂
Bless you,
Sindy
As a reader of blogs, I allow this activity to consume too much of my time. I often wonder how bloggers maintain a healthy balance in their life. In 2007 our family spent 6 months camping in the western states and homeschooling our son on the road. We documented our trip with a blog for our own pleasure and for other families who were contemplating a similar adventure. During the last 2 months of the trip we decided to stop blogging and simply enjoy and experience our educational trek to the fullest. That decision was utterly liberating . Did it appear that we might have fallen off the map in blogland. YES! We completed our trip and have spent the past year renovating our 100 year old farmhouse. Initially it was tempting to blog the renovation of our old house. I’m glad we didn’t. Living in a renovation is stressful enough without the added pressure of maintaining a daily blog. We have taken lots of pictures.
In short, we decided we could spend our time blogging or spend our time living our life! And life is short. Great post, Rhoda.
You are so right Rhoda, I think that balance is something that we all struggle with. I try to blog during the day when my kids are in school so that I can be “fully present” with them when they get home. That said, I do find myself sometimes letting comments and reader numbers occupy my mind when I’m supposed to be fully present. I try to spend some time each morning setting my priorities for the day, that way I can keep blogging “in check” and not let myself get lost in the internet and forsake all other things! 🙂 Always a work in progress!
Wonderful and thought provoking post Rhoda. ♥
thanks for this post. I left my very unhappy job almost a month ago. When I was there with nothing to do, I read blogs all day long and had no problem keeping up. Now that I am home, doing things I enjoy and keeping busy, I’ve decided it’s not the end of the world if I don’t read all 365 links on those McLinky parties {i also just look at the pics and only read if the pic pulls me in}
Also wanted to let you know that your blog was a very big portal into all the other wonderful blogs for me, and I thank you for that.
I absolutely admit that I’m online too much. I do have a day job that is so quiet sometimes that there is not much else to do except visit blogs to keep my mind from going. I have decided {this year} that I will be trying to get all my housework done in the morning on weekends before I spend an extended amount of time online. We all know how fast an hour can go by when you are reading blogs! But, my housework would fall by the wayside in the warmer months anyway because I’d be outside gardening. It’s easier in the winter months {in areas where you can’t be outside} to sit and blog.
Also, my hubby is in retail and it’s really just the two of us at home now. So when he’s working, I find myself doing projects or blogging. I think that’s better than just watching TV. Since I am aware of it, I’m hoping I can give myself some limits while I’m at home.