See that chair up there? The one I spend way too much time sitting my derriere in? Let’s talk girlfriend to girlfriend (you guys are welcome too) about a subject that I’ve been pondering over for awhile.
How in the world do we keep our lives balanced and keep up with this worldwide land of blogs?
That is the million dollar question and I do believe that we are all struggling with this across the blogosphere. We are all so plugged in these days that I fear we sometimes lose touch with reality and the truth is, I do not want to be connected and plugged in 24/7 and I refuse to do it.
I’m hitting my 3 year blogoversary the 1st of February and oh, my word, at how things have grown and evolved since I started my little ole’ blog back then. Blogging has sky-rocketed and now everyone from grandma, to great aunt, mom, niece, your best friend from college and her daughter has a blog. So, what does this mean for our sanity? I have to confess keeping the balance in blogging is not always easy. I spend hours at it, writing my posts, loading pics, and coming up with ideas to talk about and share.
Not to mention, trying SO hard to keep up with friends and blog buddies I’ve met out there. That is the most difficult thing and it has just gotten harder and harder to do. Most weeks, I barely make a dent in leaving comments, visiting with all of you and just getting myself out there. I think we are all spread so thin. Blogging has so many rewards, but there are also pitfalls too and I see some posts around the blogworld about this very subject.
- How do you keep your own unique voice and not get caught up in the competition with all the others out there in your niche? Hard to do, I’ll admit. There seems to be a certain amount of a competitive spirit that goes along with this blogging thang and I know that’s not healthy, is it? As a Christian, I know that’s something I have to keep in check, so here are a few things that I’ve observed and see out in blogland that could be hazardous to our health.
- How do we keep balance in our lives and not let blogging take over? Where is our validation coming from? I see so many new bloggers scrambling to get their name out there and grow their blog to be bigger and better. Nothing wrong with that, but I just hope the family doesn’t suffer for it. These are all things I deal with myself, so I’m just putting it in writing for you all to ponder too. I know if I struggle with these issues, many of you are too. We all LOVE comments, myself included. But, we can’t let comments and validation from blogging become the end all for our self-esteem. It has to come from God first of all and then our family.
- Moms and blogging – I’ve heard some mothers talk about needing to step back from blogging, because they feared their children are not getting the attention they deserve from blogging mama. That’s one of the things that I fear: young moms getting caught up in the blogworld and not having enough time for the little ones. Please don’t let that be you! Blogging is fun, but it’s not real life. We all have to keep our real lives in perspective and actually live them. I don’t have any children at home, but I do have a hubby that needs me.
- My friend, Melissa, just wrote a post about her struggles with this issue and she is turning off comments on her blog most of the time to help her with the balance and I think that is such a brave thing to do. Could you turn off your comments? I’m not sure I could. I love to hear from my readers!
- Growing a blog and advertising. I see so many getting caught up in the idea of making money from their blogs and this idea seems to have exploded in the last year. Yes, it can happen. I have advertising on my blog too, but I waited until I was blogging over a year before I even attempted to do any advertising and then I took it slow and easy and joined BlogHer ad network first before anything else was developed. I just hate to see so many getting caught up in the monetary part of blogging so much, scrambling to grow blogs for the sole reason of making money. I have read many cautions against that from much more savvy bloggers than I am and totally agree with it myself. Not every blog is going to grow big. That’s just a fact. And I don’t think you can predict that, it either happens or it doesn’t. Not to mention, it takes a lot of work to have a successful blog. Those who are successful with it are spending countless hours at it. And believe me, I’m not getting rich at it. It’s like a full-time job with part-time pay. But, I love it and enjoy it, so it’s worth it to me. So, all of that to say this. I urge you all to keep it in perspective. The blogworld is so big. There’s no way to develop deep friendships with everyone. I wish it was possibly for me to know all of you out there who come by and visit me so often, but that’s just not feasible either. I have enjoyed blogging so much and it has enlarged and enriched my life tremendously, but I don’t want to see people getting hurt in blogging and I can see burn-out happening and family life suffering. I’m talking to myself here too.
Here are my main struggles with blogging, see if any of these ring a bell with you too:
- Keeping those competitive feelings with others in my niche in check. Even with a fairly successful blog, there is always that nagging feeling of trying to keep your place in the blogworld. Will people keep supporting my blog or get bored?? What if I run out of projects to show, will people still keep coming back? The decor niche is exploding with projects and new blogs and no one can keep up with all of them.
- Feeling the urge to fly around the blogosphere every day, in fear that I will miss something important that is going on. I love to see all the projects, posts and things happening in the decorating/design world and yet I miss SO much, because there is only so much time in the day. If a few days go by, I really start to feel out of the loop and even more pressure to catch up. And the reality is, there is NO catching up! It’s just become impossible.
- Letting my housework fall to the side so many days, when I need to be more diligent about prioritizing and actually getting things done in real life that need to get done. I get lazy and procrastinate and would just as soon blog instead of getting up and moving. I used to be such a fanatic about housework, but the older I get, the more slack I cut myself.
- Not getting my validation from blogging. Again, that has to come from God above (and my loved ones) and not because I get a lot of comments or visitors. But, I love comments and hearing from all of you!
- I do manage to get to the gym and work out as usual, but I don’t get outside nearly as much as I used to. And I love being outside! I vow to do that more this year. I have a lot of projects I’d like to get finished in my yard too. It needs work!
So, join me as I endeavor to keep blogging in balance. Please try to keep it all in perspective and continue to be the voice and person that God made YOU to be. We are all so unique and hand-made by our Creator and he made us all different for a specific purpose. And I think that we all have a place here in this blogworld.
I’m getting ready to go to the Blissdom conference in Nashville in just a few short days. I went last year and had a blast and this year it’s going to be twice as big. I wish I could meet up with all of you, but I know that’s not possible either. If you are coming to Blissdom, please come and say hello. I want to meet you and hug your neck. And if you’re not going to Blissdom, don’t feel bad. It’s OK. Blissdom is just a fun conference, but it’s not going to make or break you as a blogger. It’s fun and there will be a bunch of people to meet, but at the end of the day, we all come back to our homes and our lives.
And we all have to find that balance. I’m still trying to find mine. And I’m not always successful. Housework falls through the cracks and projects don’t always get done. Blogging can just take over your head and your time and as much as I enjoy it, I want to make an impact in other ways too. And to do that requires me to get out of that computer chair. This is just one tool that God has given me to shine my light.
And for that I’m grateful!
How are YOU doing in the balance of blogging? I’d love to hear. This was rather a serious post and I would love it if you would share your hearts with me about your blogging journey.
Hey Rhoda!
As you know, God opened a door at the perfect moment for Kevin and I. With the addition of sponsors, we were able to make blogging our full-time “job” when neither of us could find jobs, and weren’t sure what we were going to do.
Which, yes, usually means we’re chained to our blog mentally and physically 24/7. I know it’s not healthy, but neither is having your home foreclosed on because you are several months behind on your mortgage. And neither is arguing with your husband every day because the stresses of your financial situation are making it hard for you to communicate like you used to.
Blogging every day is time consuming, expensive, and challenging- but it has literally saved our lives over the past year, and, at least for now, we are so grateful for the “imbalance”!
🙂
Seriously though, hopefully things will balance out a little over the coming years as we continue to try and get ourselves back and track. But I will say, having something positive to pour our hearts and souls into, and that continues to give us positive results in return, gives us so much hope that everything is going to work out! 🙂
And as for turning off comments, well you know I have wanted to do that for a loooooong time- not because I don’t love reading them, but because, unfortunately, the nasty ones have the ability to ruin my entire week. I cried off and on all day a couple of days ago because of a message someone had left for me. THAT is not healthy. But in the end, I always realize that there’s more than likely something wrong with the person that left the comment, than there is with me. Because no sane person I know would…
A) waste valuable time typing out a negative comment on a complete strangers blog.
B) have the heart to leave a negative comment on a complete strangers blog.
C) People are dying in Haiti. ‘Nuff said.
For me, blogging is about documenting our days and hopefully inspiring some other folks along the way.
One day, we plan to adopt a child, and I imagine we won’t be able to blog as much. But until then, we’ll continue to have fun creating our “virtual diary”, so that we can look back and laugh when we’re old fogies!
🙂
Layla
Such a wonderful post. I’ve been thinking of this as well recently, it seems more so since after the holidays. It’s been impossible for me to keep up and then I feel guilty for not commenting back to people all the time. It’s just so hard to keep up and I have a small blog, I can’t imagine how the big blogs like yours do it. I’m only one person and I have 3 kids at home, one that is small and home and needs…no, deserves all my attention.
I appreciate you bringing this topic up and I’m sure so many of us can relate. My blog brings me such joy, I can’t imagine not doing it. But yes, I get blogger guilt too.
~Michelle
I too find myself on the computer rather than getting things done around the house, or even getting out of the house. I still enjoy my blog after almost two years, but there are times when I feel burned out with it. When that happens, I send myself on a ‘mini vacation’…meaning no blogging for 1 week! It helps tremendously, and I come back with a renewed interest in blogging. I fear that I’ll lose readers when I do this, but I’ll always get a few responses who back up my mini vacations. I’m certainly not in competition with other bloggers, but I do actively work on making it more prominent in the blogging world. I guess I better sign off and get something done around this house…yea right!
Great post Rhoda!! It is a struggle at times for me — I think it’s important to eat humble pie when you blog. If you don’t, all of it can really mess with your head. I rarely look at my numbers or number of comments anymore. I read all comments on my phone so I don’t see how many their are till later.
I am with you — my family and my home always comes first. They will always be my priority. I know my readers are bummed I don’t post more, but I need to keep my life in check.
I rarely rarely get on the computer in front of my son so that means my time to blog is really limited. But I never want him to grow up remembering me on the computer all the time.
I DO want him to remember me working on our house, working with tools, and being proud of what I created through my blog. It is an honor to inspire and I always try to remember that and not take any of it too seriously.
Thanks for this post Rhoda!! Can’t wait to meet you!
Such wise words, Rhoda! Lately, I’ve had to really err to the side of handling real life issues and my blog has suffered for it. Thanks for the reminder that my priorities are straight even if my readers get disappointed in me.
By the way, you never have to worry about pressure to keep up with other decorating blogs in my book. I come here some for the decorating, but mostly because I’ve come to think you’re a wonderful person and I really just like to find out what’s happening with you.
Thanks for your post Rhoda. I’m relatively new to blogging. I pretty much view it as an extension of scrapbooking my life.
I see blogs where everyday someone has done a major project … I don’t have the time or frankly, the money, to do that. I am a do-it-yourselfer and proud of the fact that I can use a power tool, but decorating and blogging doesn’t consume my life. (as I re-read my comment I do note …. it is 10;27 on Saturday … I’m reading blogs and I should probably be vacuuming or getting groceries … am I really balanced????)
I do check my favourite blogs (yours is on that list) daily …. and I find many posts inspiring — decor wise or life wise. I have made a few friends on-line …. I was ill recently and didn’t post for a while and a person whose blog I follow and frequently comment on, wrote to check on me. I was touched and amazed.
I’m never going to be a big blog … but it is just another creative outlet for me in the same vien as my other hobbies of scrapbooking and quilting.
Thanks for all your posts.
That’s what I get for commenting on my phone. I can spell. 🙂
I want to know where this rule started that we have to get back to every commenter? I did used to feel like that, but even with ten comments it was hard. If someone says something interesting I will respond back but you have to kind of pick if you’re going to be a commenter or a blogger — it’s too hard to be both!!
That being said, I adore, cherish, LOVE my readers and try to tell them that often. I feel like we are close even though I can’t get to each one personally. I hope they feel like that too!
Such a timely post Rhoda. So much of what I have been thinking on of lately. The Lord is first in all of this, He is the center of all that we should be doing day in and day out. I have recently slowed down for a while on postings as to seek the Lords direction on the best approach. Like you we have no children at home now – so yes life gives you a bit more time that way for more things that were hard to do when raising kids – yet blogging can become an all consuming activity keeping you always thinking of the next posts, pictures, etc.. for them. Something that I have really noticed of late quite a few bloggers have gone to posting only 1 day a week, a few have gone to 2 times a month or even just monthly. And these were daily posters in the past. I myself am seriously considering 1 day a week or at the most 2 times. With the thought in mind that my posts will be more detailed and informative. I post a variety with nutrition the main. It is really hard to put out good content on a daily basis. I have come to strongly believe if your blog has worthy content readers won’t leave, they will anticipate your next post.
Several blogs got me thinking on time spent doing this over the past months when several started mentioning the time they spend blogging…..one gal logs 80 hours per week. I don’t even come close to that, yet feel the little time spent has become to much. Time to scale back, refocus.
Oh my, and let us not forget facebook & twitter that has gotten to be so much a part of blogging. Twitter I use only for my blogs postings and related thoughts to what I post about. How do you “readers” use twitter….give some serious thought to it. Do you really like reading that so and so just got their jammies on is heading to bed???
Thanks for posting your thoughts Rhoda. Like I said above, a timely post for all.
Wonderful thoughtful post, Rhoda.
You know my blogging story, from the beginning and actually before the Back Porch.
Since the beginning of the year I’ve reflected on blogging and wrote a couple of posts, with the subject of blogging, comments etc. I view those posts as a sort of catharsis. It gave me a chance to review my personal feelings about blogging.
I do indeed love to get comments. I don’t believe they are an indication of the popularity of a blog. I read all comments, left at the Back Porch. I think commenters often wonder when they see a post with lots of comments, if theirs is actually read.
Having this crazy winter respiratory thing, off and on, all winter, has caused me to take a rest from the computer and blogging. I haven’t gone from blog to blog to blog, as I would in healthier times.
Even with the health thing, I managed to publish several posts. I feel they haven’t been as “put together” as they usually are…but they were from my heart. I think I lost that, while trying to keep up with other aspects of the blogging world.
Even though I’ve been approached about advertising, I declined. I think it’s a great option for those who want to do it, but it’s just not for me.
One of the reasons I began blogging was the grief of losing grandson Elijah. The Back Porch was a wonderful outlet and gave me something to think about. Kept me busy in rough times. I have always said, if my blog becomes a chore, I will quit.
So far, three years later, I am still enjoying it. I hope to keep going with the laid back approach to writing, photographing and assembling what amounts to a small magazine article, two or three times a week and continue to enjoy it!
It’s my plan, for 2010, to concentrate on my photography, while maintaining the same sort of posts, at the Back Porch. And spend more time with Mr J, who is a big part of the blog.
Keep doing what you are doing Rhoda.
Enjoy Blissdom. I’m looking forward to news and photos!
Hi Rhoda! Oh, you’re speaking to me a lot today! I LOVE Blogland and have recently tried to back off from the ‘I Have to Post Every Day’ . When I started a year ago, I really thought I had to put a post up everyday and it began to stress me out. I know God was speaking to me and I realized my life was out of perspective and I cut back.
I guess I don’t understand and really don’t care about making money using my blog.
The main thing is the wonderful friendships I’ve made. It’s amazing to have never met someone in person, face to face but feel the close connection of our hearts.
Thank you for pouring your heart out and bringing a lot of us to our senses on some of these subjects.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia 😉
Hi Rhoda! I so wish I could meet you at Blissdom and give you a big, fat hug!! It’s not going to happen this year, but I hope y’all have a blast. I love you for this post~balance is something I think we all struggle with in some degree and I think it helps to be real with each other about it. I can’t tell you how many emails I got saying…”I thought I was the only one that struggled with this..everyone else seems to have it all together…” So, bravo to you for talking about it. For me, turning off the comments was just a personal issue of examining why I blog and where my self esteem and self-validation is coming from, but it’s *hard.* I already miss them 🙂
Have a great day~
Kudos….(notice I am making my comments from now on short and to the point)
Rhoda you have shared such wise words and words we all should think about. I’ll be honest, there have been moments that I was disappointed in my blog and focused too much on it. That was why I stepped away last year, and why when I returned the title was changed. Blogging was for me. It was an outlet to let me focus on all the positives in my life as a stay at home wife and mom. I do projects, I cook, follow children all over, I am adjusting to living in one place (a farm none-the-less) for the first time in over 12 years, and finding a bit of myself outside the home and family focus. But first I am a daughter of the king and you are right, His is the only approval that I need!
I have a few blogs that I have followed since my beginning three years ago and a few I pop in and out of just for a bit of inspiration, but I have learned that there is too much in the day to keep me busy than blogging. I only post two, maybe three times a week…if there is time.
I appreciate you taking the time for a reminder of our focus.
Have a great time at Blissdom.
Jennifer
Great post my friend!!! Balance…it’s what we are all trying to find. Not just in my blog but in my life too. I think we all struggle with this issue in one form or another and we should step back when it starts to consume us. That’s what I do. Step back..take a few days off and enjoy the world around you.
Blogging is so precious to me because of the friendships I have made. Girl…you alone make it worth turning on my computer each day. You were one off the very first blogs I came across and I have loved you since! There will always be controversy when it comes to blogging but my two cents worth….Stay true to you!
Love ya!!! Susie
Hi Rhoda-
What a wonderful, thoughtful, and from the heart post. I just started my blog about 2 months ago. I wanted to do it a few years ago but I still had one daughter at home -the other was away at college. I decided I had to give her all my attention – that she would be grown and gone before I knew it and I didn’t want to short change her or myself in that respect. I am so glad that I waited. She is now a sophmore away at college and I now can devote the time and energy needed into my blog.
I have read many blogs and do have a few favorites that I read daily. I keep my subsriptions to only the blogs I love. I have also found that some blogs are hailed as great or the best and I will check them out, but find they are not inspiring to me at all and delete them from my list. I try not to get caught up in all the hype, but at the same time do want to find my niche. Everybody is different and we all don’t like the same things. I wrote a decorating book 15 years ago and in that process found that there are going to be people that love or hate it. You just have to know you are not going to please everyone. I am old enough to know what I value and have the confidence to just be myself, hence the name of my blog. Ten years ago I probably could not have said that. I will be happy when I am a bit more literate in all things technical about blogging. I spend a lot of time on that. I figure when I know more, that will free up time for me.
As far as finding a balance I try to schedule everything. I work full time M-F. I blog at night about 3 or 4 post a week only. Cleaning, cooking, and errand running fall in here and there. It is only my husband and myself at home so it makes it easier to find the time to do the things that I enjoy.
As far as house cleaning, that has always been a low priority on my list. I tackle each room on an as needed basis. I have learned to always entertain at night – nobody sees the dirt in the candlelight.
Again- a wonderful post, Rhoda Thanks
Diane
Well, you know how I feel about keeping up Rhoda, because of my “Let’s Talk” post, but I also have a problem keeping my direction in check.
I’ve been doing this for two years in March and although it started out as a blog about my life it’s turned into a … well, honestly I don’t know LOL What is my blog about? The house? Our family? I’m not a decorator, a crafter, a seller on Etsy; I’m not an authority on anything really, so I feel a little lost these days. I think people come by to see what we’re doing on the house and when they find a post about a hike in the woods they tune out. Then I freak out and hurry to put up a post I think they’ll like. Others have stopped reading because they wanted to hear about our family and so I feel bad because I’ve disappointed them too. Why? Because I get caught up in pleasing others and not myself… bad bad bad.
My other issue is that I never know if people really like what we’re doing to the house. I’ll see someone’s DIY project get all kinds of raves and I feel insecure because no one wrote about mine. Then I start thinking of ways to make it better, which is so dumb because we really like it and that’s all that should matter. There’s that ‘pleasing others’ thing again mixed in with my competitiveness.
The one thing I do wish, is that I would have kept my mouth shut, when I blogged about blogging rules a year ago. That really was stupid and I’ve been shunned by some pretty big bloggers because of it. I often ask myself where I would have been blogging wise had I not written it.
Lately I’ve been wondering why I do this at all and about once a month I’ll say “I quit!”, but obviously I haven’t. I will say that you’ve given me something to think about though, so thank you sweet friend ☺
xoxo,
rue
I agree with all your comments and am glad you posted about it. It’s a whole new dimension in people’s lives and I’m certain at some point there’ll be a self-help guide for blog addiction or a new discipline in psychiatry to treat the addiction. It’s easy to get addicted, though without any ill intentions. I have to control my urges to check for updates to the blogs I love and talk myself out of reading every comment. I’ve been stalking many blogs for well over a year before I finally decided to take the plunge myself, but with three busy kids (ages 10, 10 and 12) and a busy job, I don’t devote much time to it. It’s just a creative outlet. Though each time I get caught up in it until too late I night I kick myself. Now I’m rambling. Good points and I LOVE your blog. Thanks for the reality check.
Thank you for this post Rhoda! I am so glad you touched on this! Although my blog is not a huge hit, I have found myself neglecting time with my husband and have been stepping away from my computer during the evenings. What a difference it has made in my relationship with my hubby! I am so thankful for the blogworld and just hope and pray to find some balance in it all.
Thanks for being so honest. I LOVED the post and hope you have a wonderful time at Blissdom! 🙂
Great post Rhoda. I enjoyed our “conversation” on the subject. I’ll be honest – I’ve had moments where I’ve felt competitive and beat myself up for not being as successful, clever, creative, etc. etc. as someone else. When I’ve felt that way, though, I have to step back and say “Whoa…you need a serious reality check.”
I blog because it’s fun for me. I blog because it’s a creative outlet that I don’t have elsewhere in my life. I blog because I enjoy inspiring others. And yes, I blog for the kinship I feel with other women of like minds and similar interests.
I don’t force myself to have 5 brilliant posts a week (that’s a tough one but I know it’s right for me); I don’t track my stats every day; and I don’t put my blog ahead of my son… although, he’s a very independent teenager so that may not count . I agree with you that balance is sooooo incredibly important…and not always easy.
Thanks again for your post on this. I hope to hug your neck at Blissdom.
I just posted something about this this week. Well, sort of. My little one was sick, and although I still kept up with a little reading, I didn’t write any or comment much this week.
I’ve been chatting with some of my bloggy friends about this. And you’re right, there is a feeling out there that some of us (at least in the mom world) are a little “blogged out.”
I agree, sometimes you can get swept up. Right now, I’m trying to manage 3 blogs and if I start thinking about whether or not anyone is reading or not, it becomes too much to handle. So, I just remember why I started this in the first place…to have fun, to brag on and post pictures of my baby and family, to connect with other moms, and to write, because I love to write. I’ve not worried about “growing” my readership too much. I’m so satisfied with my “regular” visitors, of whom I’ve made some wonderful friends, that I’m perfectly content if no one else ever follows.
I’ll be honest. At first I LOVED looking at the decorating blogs and got a lot of ideas for my own house. But if there’s any competition among bloggers out there, it has to be on these blogs. Some of them are just so pretentious. I wonder what kind of life some of these people lead and how much money they spend on things like tablescapes and antiques and vintage this and that. Who lives like that? For the most part, most of us can’t and don’t. That’s when I feel a disconnect, because the life those people talk about just seems so fake. And I think that’s what most bloggers are looking for is a connection with another person. But hey, I’m not one to judge. If it makes folks happy to “scape” their house away and they can afford it, I say more power to them! But sometimes we hold ourselves to these unattainable standards and feel bad about our own homes (at least I do) when they’re not perfect like some people portray their homes and lives to be. So, I don’t look at these much anymore.
But I will say Rhoda, that I love reading about your projects and have gotten so many wonderful, inexpensive ideas. Your blog doesn’t feel pretentious at all. You seem to keep it “real” with your readers and that’s why I continue to read.
Thanks for this post…