See that chair up there? The one I spend way too much time sitting my derriere in? Let’s talk girlfriend to girlfriend (you guys are welcome too) about a subject that I’ve been pondering over for awhile.
How in the world do we keep our lives balanced and keep up with this worldwide land of blogs?
That is the million dollar question and I do believe that we are all struggling with this across the blogosphere. We are all so plugged in these days that I fear we sometimes lose touch with reality and the truth is, I do not want to be connected and plugged in 24/7 and I refuse to do it.
I’m hitting my 3 year blogoversary the 1st of February and oh, my word, at how things have grown and evolved since I started my little ole’ blog back then. Blogging has sky-rocketed and now everyone from grandma, to great aunt, mom, niece, your best friend from college and her daughter has a blog. So, what does this mean for our sanity? I have to confess keeping the balance in blogging is not always easy. I spend hours at it, writing my posts, loading pics, and coming up with ideas to talk about and share.
Not to mention, trying SO hard to keep up with friends and blog buddies I’ve met out there. That is the most difficult thing and it has just gotten harder and harder to do. Most weeks, I barely make a dent in leaving comments, visiting with all of you and just getting myself out there. I think we are all spread so thin. Blogging has so many rewards, but there are also pitfalls too and I see some posts around the blogworld about this very subject.
- How do you keep your own unique voice and not get caught up in the competition with all the others out there in your niche? Hard to do, I’ll admit. There seems to be a certain amount of a competitive spirit that goes along with this blogging thang and I know that’s not healthy, is it? As a Christian, I know that’s something I have to keep in check, so here are a few things that I’ve observed and see out in blogland that could be hazardous to our health.
- How do we keep balance in our lives and not let blogging take over? Where is our validation coming from? I see so many new bloggers scrambling to get their name out there and grow their blog to be bigger and better. Nothing wrong with that, but I just hope the family doesn’t suffer for it. These are all things I deal with myself, so I’m just putting it in writing for you all to ponder too. I know if I struggle with these issues, many of you are too. We all LOVE comments, myself included. But, we can’t let comments and validation from blogging become the end all for our self-esteem. It has to come from God first of all and then our family.
- Moms and blogging – I’ve heard some mothers talk about needing to step back from blogging, because they feared their children are not getting the attention they deserve from blogging mama. That’s one of the things that I fear: young moms getting caught up in the blogworld and not having enough time for the little ones. Please don’t let that be you! Blogging is fun, but it’s not real life. We all have to keep our real lives in perspective and actually live them. I don’t have any children at home, but I do have a hubby that needs me.
- My friend, Melissa, just wrote a post about her struggles with this issue and she is turning off comments on her blog most of the time to help her with the balance and I think that is such a brave thing to do. Could you turn off your comments? I’m not sure I could. I love to hear from my readers!
- Growing a blog and advertising. I see so many getting caught up in the idea of making money from their blogs and this idea seems to have exploded in the last year. Yes, it can happen. I have advertising on my blog too, but I waited until I was blogging over a year before I even attempted to do any advertising and then I took it slow and easy and joined BlogHer ad network first before anything else was developed. I just hate to see so many getting caught up in the monetary part of blogging so much, scrambling to grow blogs for the sole reason of making money. I have read many cautions against that from much more savvy bloggers than I am and totally agree with it myself. Not every blog is going to grow big. That’s just a fact. And I don’t think you can predict that, it either happens or it doesn’t. Not to mention, it takes a lot of work to have a successful blog. Those who are successful with it are spending countless hours at it. And believe me, I’m not getting rich at it. It’s like a full-time job with part-time pay. But, I love it and enjoy it, so it’s worth it to me. So, all of that to say this. I urge you all to keep it in perspective. The blogworld is so big. There’s no way to develop deep friendships with everyone. I wish it was possibly for me to know all of you out there who come by and visit me so often, but that’s just not feasible either. I have enjoyed blogging so much and it has enlarged and enriched my life tremendously, but I don’t want to see people getting hurt in blogging and I can see burn-out happening and family life suffering. I’m talking to myself here too.
Here are my main struggles with blogging, see if any of these ring a bell with you too:
- Keeping those competitive feelings with others in my niche in check. Even with a fairly successful blog, there is always that nagging feeling of trying to keep your place in the blogworld. Will people keep supporting my blog or get bored?? What if I run out of projects to show, will people still keep coming back? The decor niche is exploding with projects and new blogs and no one can keep up with all of them.
- Feeling the urge to fly around the blogosphere every day, in fear that I will miss something important that is going on. I love to see all the projects, posts and things happening in the decorating/design world and yet I miss SO much, because there is only so much time in the day. If a few days go by, I really start to feel out of the loop and even more pressure to catch up. And the reality is, there is NO catching up! It’s just become impossible.
- Letting my housework fall to the side so many days, when I need to be more diligent about prioritizing and actually getting things done in real life that need to get done. I get lazy and procrastinate and would just as soon blog instead of getting up and moving. I used to be such a fanatic about housework, but the older I get, the more slack I cut myself.
- Not getting my validation from blogging. Again, that has to come from God above (and my loved ones) and not because I get a lot of comments or visitors. But, I love comments and hearing from all of you!
- I do manage to get to the gym and work out as usual, but I don’t get outside nearly as much as I used to. And I love being outside! I vow to do that more this year. I have a lot of projects I’d like to get finished in my yard too. It needs work!
So, join me as I endeavor to keep blogging in balance. Please try to keep it all in perspective and continue to be the voice and person that God made YOU to be. We are all so unique and hand-made by our Creator and he made us all different for a specific purpose. And I think that we all have a place here in this blogworld.
I’m getting ready to go to the Blissdom conference in Nashville in just a few short days. I went last year and had a blast and this year it’s going to be twice as big. I wish I could meet up with all of you, but I know that’s not possible either. If you are coming to Blissdom, please come and say hello. I want to meet you and hug your neck. And if you’re not going to Blissdom, don’t feel bad. It’s OK. Blissdom is just a fun conference, but it’s not going to make or break you as a blogger. It’s fun and there will be a bunch of people to meet, but at the end of the day, we all come back to our homes and our lives.
And we all have to find that balance. I’m still trying to find mine. And I’m not always successful. Housework falls through the cracks and projects don’t always get done. Blogging can just take over your head and your time and as much as I enjoy it, I want to make an impact in other ways too. And to do that requires me to get out of that computer chair. This is just one tool that God has given me to shine my light.
And for that I’m grateful!
How are YOU doing in the balance of blogging? I’d love to hear. This was rather a serious post and I would love it if you would share your hearts with me about your blogging journey.
kathysue says
Rhoda, what a wonderfully thoughtful post. This is what I admire and love about you, your honesty and willlingness to share. Balance Oh that word for women is a hard thing to do at all times and in all aspects of life. For myself I have found if I start my day spending time with God the prioritizing falls into line. When he is our focus the balance is there. It is all the “this and thats” of life that can get in our way. As you know I am only three weeks into doing a blog. You and I have talked about the pitfalls and I have waited over a year to start a blog. You have helped me in so many ways and been so supportive. I don’t get my validation from my blog but I do get an enjoyment of it being a creative outlet. I truly enjoy the writing process, which has been a surprise. You know how when a new business opens in their business plan they have a mission statement. I had to do that with my blog. I think that will help keep it in perspective. I am glad you opened up this dialogue. It will keep me aware of the pitfalls. If any of these issues come up in the future I will remember what my dear friend “Rhoda”, said. xoxo Kathysue
Maryann @ Domestically-Speaking says
Thank you so much for your insight and your great reminder. I entered the blogging world about 4 months ago, but even in that short time there were times when I would rather just park my buns in the chair and peruse bloggyland rather than deal with “real life”. For me it’s like everything else… finding the balance. As a mom it’s always the struggle of time and how to spend the time I have… with God, with my husband, with my children and meeting their needs and with my home (housework, diys, decorating). I’m a very scheduled person, so that helps some. Each morning I pray that God will show me what He would like me to do that day and that He’d give me the wisdom and grace to see it and get it done. I know that’s the best way for me to be the person God has intended.
Thanks again for bringing up this subject and speaking the truth! {smile}
Heather says
Thank you thank you thank you for this post! I have two blogs and about a year ago really had to back off. Social media will be around for a good, long, time but my babies won’t.
I’m still trying to find the balance and I hate that I’m losing bloggy friends for it, but my family is more important. I do what I can and still consider writing a hobby. Once they’re older I can turn it into something more.
Leanne says
Thanks for this post. It gives us all a lot to think about. I’m still working on the balance thing. Luckily, my kids are all in school now, so I try to do everything on the computer while they’re not home. Most of the time it works out, but sometimes I’ve been busy during the day and I’ve been on the computer when they get home. I try for this not to happen very often. I guess I’m having a harder time with still being able to do other things I enjoy. Like I said, I’m still working on the balance thing. That’s one of my goals for this year. Thanks again and have a great day!
Mandy from Burkett Blessings says
Amen! Amen! Amen!! Thank you for such a great post that I so desperately needed to hear! I am fairly new to blogging, but have found myself doing exactly what you mention here… letting housework, family, and myself go by the wayside somewhat in order to work on my blog or read others. It’s so much fun to blog, but it can definitely become very addicting and take over before you realize what’s happening. Thank you for the reminder to keep a balance. I needed that! 🙂 By the way, I really enjoy reading your blog! I especially love your decorating posts and all your fabulous finds!!! It’s been fun to get to know you through the blogworld! Stop by and see me sometime – after you get that laundry folded!! 🙂
Mandy
Natalie says
Thanks! I really needed that kick in the pants! :p
Jen@Balancing Beauty and Bedlam says
oh friend – you know that this always hits on a cord with bloggers and every week, I recommit to this concept of balance (even when I write about it day in and day out…:)
The house work…that’s what’s fallen through the cracks for me….
Can’t wait to give you a big hug in just a little over a week.
~Country Lady~ says
Hi Rhoda. Thank you so much for putting into words my thoughts. I’ve only been at this blogging thing for a little over 5 months. I ask myself why I have chosen to do it from time to time. My family urged me in the beginning to do it so they could keep up with what I’m cooking and doing inside and outside my home. So that’s why I’m in blogland. I made a decision to never pursue the advertising side of blogging. It’s just not for me. I have noticed the competitive nature of some blogging efforts. I pray never to succumb to that side of blogging. I do find that since I’ve been blogging, I’ve spent less time creating in my home and yard. That’s not a positive. I spend way to much time being nonproductive on the internet. I’ve also found in my short time with this adventure that the more you put yourself out there visiting blogs and commenting, the more comments you can receive on your own blog. I just don’t have time to visit all the blogs and comment just so I can receive comments on my own blog. If that’s why I’m commenting on other blogs just to get comments for my own, then that is just wrong. Something isn’t right with that scenario. I do like to visit blogs and read and view, but don’t always have time to comment. If I do comment, it’s because I have time and feel really led to comment because the post moved me or touched me in some way. I’m quite happy just blogging when I feel inspired to share something…if I receive comments, then that is wonderful, and I do appreciate all comments. I don’t ever expect my blog to be anything other than small and my very own. You are a dear lady who seems to have it all in the proper perspective. Enjoy Blissdom. Be safe my friend and once again, thank you for sharing from your heart. May God continue to bless you richly.
Robin says
thanks so much for sharing your heart on this matter. I know so many of us struggle to find balance in our lives and we often do not feel safe in sharing our struggles with the whole world let alone the friend next door. So, thanks again for being real for a moment, and for the reminder for us all to really think about why do we truly blog.
Rhoda says
THank you ALL for coming by and adding in your thoughts. I think we as women really have to be diligent about balance in our lives, so I’m committing to do a better job of it this year. There might be a few fewer posts & I might not be up to date on visiting or commenting on my friends and favorite blogs, but I will be better for it. By gosh, I’m going to get out of this chair a lot more often and I hope you will too!
Sandy says
Hi Ronda,
This is a very thoughtful post. I’m new to blogging but I am quickly realizing how time consuming it is as I try to post daily. I know there will be times I will not be able to post as we travel on extended RV trips. There may come a time I will have to step back from blogging either through reducing my number of posts or not being able to comment as frequently on other blogs. I do not want to become a famous blogger (not that I think that could ever happen) as I just don’t think I could handle having hundreds of comments per day to read or having hundreds of followers. That seems like more stress to me. I’m happy with what I’m doing now and I’m enjoying it. If there comes a time that I’m not then I will either quit or cut back. I’m certainly not blogging to make any money.
Teacup Lane (Sandy)
Leslie says
This post I L.O.V.E. ! I am about to start my own blog… and you give great advice! And, LOL, your desk area resembles mine! I think my main concern would be, in my own blog corner, that I remain true to the reason I start my blog in the first place. That might be hard to do. Wow. Admire your candor. Thanks and God bless you!
Gina @ The Shabby Chic Cottage says
Hi Rhoda,
Great post! I’ve been blogging for a total of nearly 3 years combined (2 at Six in the Country and almost 1 at TSSC). I have recently learned more of a balance, knowing that after my posting is done, then I can go do other things for a while.
I am with Layla, though. Blogging/Etsy has now become my full time job. I have wanted to be a SAHM for years, ever since I went back to work as my youngest daughter went to school. Now, I can stay home, work there, and have more time to spend with my children. If not for blogging, I wouldn’t be able to do that.
However, I don’t get around to enough other blogs. I limit myself to about a dozen blogs I read every day, and a few others that I pop into when I have spare time to catch up. I wish I had more time, but I just don’t.
I can’t tell you the last time I watched my favorite TV shows without my hands on my laptop. Multi-tasking at its finest!
Thanks for helping us all keep it in perspective, though! I absolutely cannot wait to meet you in a few more days…. it’s gonna be the highlight of the season!
Karen says
What a great post!! I appreciate very much your honesty on blogging. I am debating starting a blog myself , in part to promote my business, and in part, as a way to network. Your post gave me some much needed insite in to the blog world and will help me weigh my decisions!! Many thanks!!
karen
Amanda @ Serenity Now says
Rhoda, I just wanted to say thank you for this post. Susie Harris wrote something this week that also touched my heart (and Melissa’s post also struck a chord).
I appreciate your note about Blissdom. From all the hype I’ve been seeing on blogs these past few weeks, it is very easy to feel like I’ll be missing out on just the coolest thing ever b/c I didn’t know about it/can’t afford to go/can’t leave my bebes right now. Thanks for keeping it in perspective.
I’ve been getting kind of a frantic vibe here and there on some blogs, especially newer ones who want so badly to “make it.” It’s leading to a real lack of grace in terms of relating to others and “advertising myself at all costs.” I agree about the sponsors….I’ve been blogging consistently (5 days a week) for a little over a year, and I may see about a sponsor or two when my redesign gets going in the next month or so. But if I don’t attract a sponsor (b/c I really don’t have a “niche”!!), that’s okay too.
I have to keep telling myself that I started my blog b/c I needed a place to express myself…for ME! It’s awesome that along the way, I’ve had a few people hop on for the ride, but I think it’s okay that I don’t have 2000 Followers or 20 sponsors or 60 comments every day. 🙂
I’m going to keep writing b/c I love it, SET SOME HOURS FOR MYSELF (I need to focus more on my children and less on my computer), and not freak out if I can’t return every single comment that is left for me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing from your heart today. As a mom of young children who loves to express herself on her blog, I appreciate your reminder that my family is most important…I’ll have plenty of time to blog after they go to bed. 😉
Sara @ Russet Street Reno says
Rhoda, first of all thank you kindly for checking out my dressing room and leaving a comment for me! I am one of those newer bloggers that you spoke of, and I’ll admit my relationship with my fiancee sometimes suffers for the blog. I don’t even want to plan a wedding because I’m so busy working on house projects. Well, what good is a nice house if I’m ignoring the person I share it with? So, it’s a constant struggle and I totally identify with everything you’ve written here. I try to do a couple posts during football and some during his favorite tv shows so he doesn’t feel slighted. I do try to not let it dominate my life. It is hard, but I’m not looking for sponsorship or for blogging as a career, so that takes some pressure off.
Destiny D says
This was an honest and timely post.
I realized that I can’t do both, so I chose to read blogs over blogging myself. I was afraid that should I choose to blog that I would be less intentional about living my life for something to blog about and that is not who I am. (Although obviously I feared it was who I could become.) For those who do blog, I think your post was spot on — keep your prioritites straight and, for those of us who are believers, remember that it is your Creator who ultimately validates you and not the comments you receive, although they do feel oh so good, I’m sure. And … for those of us, like me, who read, take a minute to leave a comment. It will be appreciated. (Actually, I’m scaling back again on the blogs I read so that I can take time to comment more often on the ones that really resonate with me.)
Great post – thank you for it!
TammyR says
I am new to blogging. I have been reading many blogs for quite some time and just recently decided to start my own. I started it for many reasons, but one was to keep a diary (of sorts) of my life. It’s fun to re-read my posts. It’s my life – my story. Also, I am hoping to share projects that I’m working on – just like you. I am so inspired by you and others and I wanted to share that. I am not a mother so I don’t have to worry about that like others do. I do work a full time job that takes me out of town frequently, and I am married. So, I have obligations, but I still manage to sit down and blog or read other’s blogs. I don’t post every day and I’m okay with that. I only have a few people reading my blog and I’m okay with that, too. I’m not trying to be a celebrity blogger. I just enjoy it, but if someone makes a comment, that’s great. It makes me feel like I’ve connected with that person. I can see how people get caught up in it – I sometimes get caught up in reading blogs, but I also know when to take a break.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!