See that chair up there? The one I spend way too much time sitting my derriere in? Let’s talk girlfriend to girlfriend (you guys are welcome too) about a subject that I’ve been pondering over for awhile.
How in the world do we keep our lives balanced and keep up with this worldwide land of blogs?
That is the million dollar question and I do believe that we are all struggling with this across the blogosphere. We are all so plugged in these days that I fear we sometimes lose touch with reality and the truth is, I do not want to be connected and plugged in 24/7 and I refuse to do it.
I’m hitting my 3 year blogoversary the 1st of February and oh, my word, at how things have grown and evolved since I started my little ole’ blog back then. Blogging has sky-rocketed and now everyone from grandma, to great aunt, mom, niece, your best friend from college and her daughter has a blog. So, what does this mean for our sanity? I have to confess keeping the balance in blogging is not always easy. I spend hours at it, writing my posts, loading pics, and coming up with ideas to talk about and share.
Not to mention, trying SO hard to keep up with friends and blog buddies I’ve met out there. That is the most difficult thing and it has just gotten harder and harder to do. Most weeks, I barely make a dent in leaving comments, visiting with all of you and just getting myself out there. I think we are all spread so thin. Blogging has so many rewards, but there are also pitfalls too and I see some posts around the blogworld about this very subject.
- How do you keep your own unique voice and not get caught up in the competition with all the others out there in your niche? Hard to do, I’ll admit. There seems to be a certain amount of a competitive spirit that goes along with this blogging thang and I know that’s not healthy, is it? As a Christian, I know that’s something I have to keep in check, so here are a few things that I’ve observed and see out in blogland that could be hazardous to our health.
- How do we keep balance in our lives and not let blogging take over? Where is our validation coming from? I see so many new bloggers scrambling to get their name out there and grow their blog to be bigger and better. Nothing wrong with that, but I just hope the family doesn’t suffer for it. These are all things I deal with myself, so I’m just putting it in writing for you all to ponder too. I know if I struggle with these issues, many of you are too. We all LOVE comments, myself included. But, we can’t let comments and validation from blogging become the end all for our self-esteem. It has to come from God first of all and then our family.
- Moms and blogging – I’ve heard some mothers talk about needing to step back from blogging, because they feared their children are not getting the attention they deserve from blogging mama. That’s one of the things that I fear: young moms getting caught up in the blogworld and not having enough time for the little ones. Please don’t let that be you! Blogging is fun, but it’s not real life. We all have to keep our real lives in perspective and actually live them. I don’t have any children at home, but I do have a hubby that needs me.
- My friend, Melissa, just wrote a post about her struggles with this issue and she is turning off comments on her blog most of the time to help her with the balance and I think that is such a brave thing to do. Could you turn off your comments? I’m not sure I could. I love to hear from my readers!
- Growing a blog and advertising. I see so many getting caught up in the idea of making money from their blogs and this idea seems to have exploded in the last year. Yes, it can happen. I have advertising on my blog too, but I waited until I was blogging over a year before I even attempted to do any advertising and then I took it slow and easy and joined BlogHer ad network first before anything else was developed. I just hate to see so many getting caught up in the monetary part of blogging so much, scrambling to grow blogs for the sole reason of making money. I have read many cautions against that from much more savvy bloggers than I am and totally agree with it myself. Not every blog is going to grow big. That’s just a fact. And I don’t think you can predict that, it either happens or it doesn’t. Not to mention, it takes a lot of work to have a successful blog. Those who are successful with it are spending countless hours at it. And believe me, I’m not getting rich at it. It’s like a full-time job with part-time pay. But, I love it and enjoy it, so it’s worth it to me. So, all of that to say this. I urge you all to keep it in perspective. The blogworld is so big. There’s no way to develop deep friendships with everyone. I wish it was possibly for me to know all of you out there who come by and visit me so often, but that’s just not feasible either. I have enjoyed blogging so much and it has enlarged and enriched my life tremendously, but I don’t want to see people getting hurt in blogging and I can see burn-out happening and family life suffering. I’m talking to myself here too.
Here are my main struggles with blogging, see if any of these ring a bell with you too:
- Keeping those competitive feelings with others in my niche in check. Even with a fairly successful blog, there is always that nagging feeling of trying to keep your place in the blogworld. Will people keep supporting my blog or get bored?? What if I run out of projects to show, will people still keep coming back? The decor niche is exploding with projects and new blogs and no one can keep up with all of them.
- Feeling the urge to fly around the blogosphere every day, in fear that I will miss something important that is going on. I love to see all the projects, posts and things happening in the decorating/design world and yet I miss SO much, because there is only so much time in the day. If a few days go by, I really start to feel out of the loop and even more pressure to catch up. And the reality is, there is NO catching up! It’s just become impossible.
- Letting my housework fall to the side so many days, when I need to be more diligent about prioritizing and actually getting things done in real life that need to get done. I get lazy and procrastinate and would just as soon blog instead of getting up and moving. I used to be such a fanatic about housework, but the older I get, the more slack I cut myself.
- Not getting my validation from blogging. Again, that has to come from God above (and my loved ones) and not because I get a lot of comments or visitors. But, I love comments and hearing from all of you!
- I do manage to get to the gym and work out as usual, but I don’t get outside nearly as much as I used to. And I love being outside! I vow to do that more this year. I have a lot of projects I’d like to get finished in my yard too. It needs work!
So, join me as I endeavor to keep blogging in balance. Please try to keep it all in perspective and continue to be the voice and person that God made YOU to be. We are all so unique and hand-made by our Creator and he made us all different for a specific purpose. And I think that we all have a place here in this blogworld.
I’m getting ready to go to the Blissdom conference in Nashville in just a few short days. I went last year and had a blast and this year it’s going to be twice as big. I wish I could meet up with all of you, but I know that’s not possible either. If you are coming to Blissdom, please come and say hello. I want to meet you and hug your neck. And if you’re not going to Blissdom, don’t feel bad. It’s OK. Blissdom is just a fun conference, but it’s not going to make or break you as a blogger. It’s fun and there will be a bunch of people to meet, but at the end of the day, we all come back to our homes and our lives.
And we all have to find that balance. I’m still trying to find mine. And I’m not always successful. Housework falls through the cracks and projects don’t always get done. Blogging can just take over your head and your time and as much as I enjoy it, I want to make an impact in other ways too. And to do that requires me to get out of that computer chair. This is just one tool that God has given me to shine my light.
And for that I’m grateful!
How are YOU doing in the balance of blogging? I’d love to hear. This was rather a serious post and I would love it if you would share your hearts with me about your blogging journey.
Diane says
My college-age son told me (as I pondered what I was going to do with my almost empty nest), “Mom, if you want to make a lot of money write a blog about something you know a lot about or have a passion for. ” That idea stuck in my head and I have been pondering it for several months. Thanks for your insight into the current blogsphere. As in many industries, there seems to come a point in its life cycle, where there becomes so much competition it becomes harder to make a living at it. But as time goes on, certain ones prevail. Maybe its getting in at the right time or maybe its having that novel idea or a combination of both. As for your blog, I love it. I only follow 6 blogs on a regular basis and yours is one of them. I also think quality is more important than quantity in a blog. Maybe, that’s how you keep the balance. Write about things you would normally do if you weren’t blogging, don’t let blogging make you do things you wouldn’t normally do.
Julia @ Hooked on Houses says
Loved this post and reading all of the thoughtful comments on the topic! Oh, boy, is it tough not to get sucked into the blog world for hours and hours every day.
I’ve been reevaluating how my time gets spent and making some changes, too. I closed my second blog (Beach Cottage Love). I took Blog Rankings off my site because I was worrying too much about my rank dropping when I missed a day of blogging (it’s easier to take a day off now). I had to stop hosting my weekly Hooked on Fridays parties because they were becoming so time-consuming. And I try not to spend as much time on Twitter anymore. But even with these changes, I always feel behind and short on time! It’s a constant struggle to keep up with everything.
sue says
Hey Rhoda,
You are one of the few blogs that I follow. Your candor, compassion and creativity have always shown through. I think you have to follow your instincts and make decisions that resonate with your heart and mind. Whatever parameters that you believe you need to create for yourself will be for the best at the moment you choose to make them. My children are married and grown so I can wisely advise all those creative moms out there in blog land to stop and reflect about what matters to them. Your children grow up WAY too fast and you have to recognize that they are with you a very short time. Moderation in all things…set boundaries with your time, since that is something that you only have a limited amount of.
I would be sorry to see you leave the blogging world, but my missing you would be tempered by the knowledge that you were making the decision that was best for you.
Take care!
Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish says
I am finding that balance to be a struggle. I do pretty good getting my posts done on the weekend but I have a hard time getting them done during the week. Especially if I have gotten behind on my reading. I feel worse about that then anything. But I love the community and the friendships!
P.S. I will be at Blissdom! I hope I can find you and the courage to come up and introduce myself!!
Kelee Katillac says
Hi Rhoda!
This is a phenomenal post! ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL.
You have expressed so many of my feelings too.
The concept of turning off comments is one I have toyed with…. It is hard not to slip into gauging success by them.
Competition. Uggh. That is an ancient impulse in all of us…it started with attracting a mate, feeding the kids, and survival. Primal stuff. I despise that it lingers within us.
Because, this is the truth I embrace:
God has made each of us unique and talented. And, God’s
abundance is unlimited. Therefore there is enough good for everyone. We don’t have to struggle for our piece of a limited amount. Or our portion of “specialness”.
Also, I believe each voice most be heard. I think even though some of our messages are the same (which is proof that there are “truths”) our own personal experiences make them special and relatable to a certain group. The ultimate goal is for the GOODNESS to rise to the top through the chorus of voices so the earth is helped; families nurtured; the needy ministered to; Divine love spread and multiplied; and each person’s rare purpose is fulfilled.
AND WE GET TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN WITH CREATIVITY, COLOR, AND PROJECTS TOO! We all win!
That said, I know the feelings of lack of balance you describe! I think we have to know our intentions with the blog pursuits. Why are we doing THIS exactly? What is the outcome? Then, line it up against the other aspects we cherish and do the math. How much time is enough….
Rhoda, you wrote a brilliant piece here. Thank-you for your thoughts, honesty, savvy, grit, creativity, and determination/dedication.
I love ya, kiddo.
Kelee
Sherry says
Hi Rhoda, As a relatively new blogger I really enjoyed reading this post. I can see how blogging can become addictive and result in less time spent with your family and friends. I look at this as a new hobby that I enjoy, but it is just a hobby for me. If it ever reaches a pont where it becomes work rather than fun I will walk away. Thanks for a great post.
Mari Larkin says
Thanks for this great post. I just started blogging this year for me. I felt God wanted me to do it to hold me accountable and hopefully encourage those that do find me…mostly just my intimate close friends. I really had no idea how big the blogging world was until I started looking deeper into it. It can be an all day affair if we let it. I do get so much encouragement from all the many blogs I look at, and also from the few comments I get. May we all do it to glorify God, and not lose sight of what’s most important to us in life.
Blessings,
Mari
Courtney says
I’ve been doing much better, especially since my hubby and I have been working hard at getting a new car for our family as well as purchasing our first home together. It’s been a busy couple of weeks to say the least!
I got my blogging perspective from the past two weeks! Family and life comes first!
Sharlotte says
Rhoda,
I agree with everything you’ve said. I have spent a lot of time with blogging since I’ve begun and I do enjoy it. After a long day at work, it’s fun to just relax and get recharged by creative people. I do however have to watch how much time I spend at my computer…time seems to fly.
I think blogging has enriched my life. I feel that it’s a supportive place with like minded people. I’ve picked it up as a new hobby and try to keep it in perspective. My children are older, one was married this past summer, the other is a high school senior soon to leave for college. Blogging has helped to fill my time as I turn to “chapter 2” in my life. Thank goodness my husband is 100% supportive!
Connie says
Thanks Rhoda for being honest and for saying what we all are feeling and experiencing. I started my blog a year and a half ago and never knew what I was getting into and then the pressure was on to be interesting, etc. I’ve had to take a break this year and felt bad…can you believe it?? But now am back doing shorter posts and not worrying about posting every day and it’s been nice. I’ve met so many wonderful bloggers and like you can’t keep up but have about a dozen blog friends that check in with me and I with them every so often and that’s nice.
Real life comes first….but blogging is a blast! Love you Rhoda…Connie
Melissa Dubbs says
I think everyone that does something online blog or business related would agree w/you. It is so easy to get yourself caught up in everything that is on the internet. I know sometimes before I know it I have been online for hours. I can only imagine what it is like for you professional bloggers. It doesn’t matter how old you are that ugly green monster always shows up sometime or another. I know there are a lot of other people out there in the same boat.
By the way how do you like Thesis? I am wanting to get my own blog to help promote my business and I know nothing about blog design.
Toni says
I don’t have a website or a blog. But I do have email and Face Book and I’ve determined that is about all I personally can handle as far as technology. I thoroughly enjoy looking at blogs as my new favorite past time and I consider it more useful that television. The other thing I would add to Rhoda’s good words is that there are so many needs in the world and in peoples lives that can only be addressed by warm bodies reaching out to them, and not just in cyberspace but in real life. More focus on technology in whatever form can secretly steel away those golden opportunities to serve others. Blogging can be a way of subtly making life “about us” as opposed to reaching out to others and meeting needs. Balance is something we all struggle to find. Toni
Deb Carroll says
Rhoda,
Love your honesty.
And your advice.
You already know how much I dig your blog.
Sweet dreams.
Susan says
Great post, Rhoda! Working fulltime keeps me from being able to spend too much time blogging…only have a little time each evening. My son is all grown now…off in lawschool. But if he were home still, don’t think I’d be able to blog, unless I was a SAHM and could blog while he was away in school each day. Family must always come first. Thankfully, I have good friends who keep me from spending my whole weekend blogging…when they call, I’m outta here. 🙂 I don’t initiate as many “play dates” as I used to, but I’m off somewhere almost every weekend. 🙂 I’m going on the Cathedral Home Tour tomorrow with another blogger…can’t wait! I really do think it’s all about balance…we all need that. Otherwise, we become stale…and who wants to read that! (LOL) I do often wish there was some way I could visit everyone who visits BNOTP, but it’s not possible, especially with working 9 hour days. I hope and pray they understand…though it always weighs heavy on my mind. Blogging should enhance a person’s life…not be a burden or a distraction that keeps us from “living” our lives. It has added a new and wonderful dimension to my life; I’m so grateful for all those I’ve met through it. Best of luck with your decision…looking forward to hearing all about Blissdom! 🙂
Tabitha says
Thank you so much for sharing this post. I am rather new to blogging and feel myself experiencing some of the same things you spoke about. I have felt really pressured to post more often…afraid I might loose followers. But the truth of the matter is that God and family needs to come before blogging…especially for us mothers with young children. Thanks again!
jeanette says
A very thoughtful post.
Rett says
I am praying in 2010 that the Lord will help me be satisfied with HIS approval alone and your post was a sweet reminder from an unexpected place. I have been blogging since ’05 but I have only recently started wishing, “Hmm, I wish other people would read my posts.” I haven’t ventured into promotion or advertisement or any of that but I’ve been recently tempted to try and “get out there.” Your blog encourages me that maybe it’s still time for me to just blog for my own writing outlet for now and try to pull myself offline as much as possible. Thank you for an honest, God-honoring, family-edifying, and selfless post. I was blessed.
Gina says
Thanks for sharing your perspective on blogging. I’ve been blogging for a year and a half. It started out as an experiment (can an old dog really learn a new trick) and as an outlet for my creative energy. My nest is almost empty and my husband works out of town during the week so I thought I had plenty of free time to pursue this adventure. What I found is that I did become consumed with reading other blogs and what to post on mine. I didn’t feel like I needed to compete necessarily but was curious as to why one blog seemed to get more traffic than another.
The busyness of December forced me to take a break from blogging. I realized how much of real life I had missed out on by being consumed with the virtual one. I have struggled with posting since the new year (even though–or perhaps because–one of my goals was to be more purposeful in my writing). I’m not giving up blogging but I do want to find that balance and use my time and words wisely.
I love reading your blog because it inspires me to be sensibly creative in my home and see beauty/potential in objects that have lost their luster or purpose.
Thanks,
Gina
Kasey says
Agree with all of your post.
I am not really new to Blogging but in a way I am. I started my first blog around 2005. It was on again, off again then there was about a year that I had no desire to blog at all.
I have my current blog and have been posting routinely for the past year. It’s more of a fun hobby for me. I don’t really make it a point to blog everyday. My life is clearly not that interesting to blog every day LOL!
Victoria says
Rhoda, You always share extraordinary words of wisdom that everyone, not just bloggers, need to hear. I’m a non-blogger. I considered creating a blog while I was newly jobless and on track with a novel. Lke I do when I want to write about something, I research. I began studying several blogs in many niches, everything from interior design to perfume collecting to travel, food, inspirational and writing. My study resulted in my becoming quite addicted to reading over 200 blogs every week and trying to dole out as many comments. You think bloggers can become imbalanced? Just think about me sitting here at home all day — no kids, no job and reading blogs almost all day every day until it’s time to clean house, clean myself and/or get dinner ready for my husband. So even though I’m not a blogger, girl, can I relate! Reading all these wonderful blogs has cost me something — precious time. Not that I haven’t learned a lot. I have. And I’m not saying that I should not have read any blogs or done my “research.” But there is always a time and season for everything. So I, too, have had to make a commitment to reign myself in. I could have written that novel by now and I’m still in the early chapters. Even though I feel that I have made some wonderful online friends and contacts in many areas, it feels good to totally shut it all down for at least one day and sometimes for a long weekend, and go without reading anything online — blogs or e-mails or social networks — and be present in the moment for myself, for my husband, my grown children and their young children at times, and to hear that still small voice of God inside that we all need to keep us balanced.
On that note, I wills hare that something has occurred in my life that will keep me away from blogs for at least 8 hours or more every day. This week I accepted a position with an airline and will be spending my days in their executive offices. And in my free time, my husband and I will be utilizing some of the benefits of my new position: traveling frequently. I will still continue to keep up with many of you and your blogs at times. But I feel that the grip that I have allowed my addiciton to blogs and social networks to have on my daily life will lessen. Like you, Rhoda, I love being outside in my garden and running around in the neighborhood. I need more sunshine on my face and light in my eyes. Life doesn’t wait for us. It moves on quickly. I’m sure we all desire to use our time wisely and have no regrets of how we spent it. So thank you for asking those very important questions. Even as a non-blogger, they struck a chord with me too and I winced and groaned in pain at the thought of not turning on my laptop every morning after my husband leaves for work to tune in to the blog world (while also tuning in to Hoda and Kathie Lee, Bonnie Hunt and Martha Stewart while reading all those blogs!)
Just one more thought and I’ll get outta here, I promise! 😉 There are so many wonderful blogs and bloggers. I love all of you and you all fill a need for someone — no reason to be in competition ever. Youa re all like my children. I could no more pick a favorite blog than I could a favorite child. Seriously. That’s how much I’ve grown to love and respect those of you who share your lives and special gifts and talents in blogland.
~ en Agape,
Victoria