See that chair up there? The one I spend way too much time sitting my derriere in? Let’s talk girlfriend to girlfriend (you guys are welcome too) about a subject that I’ve been pondering over for awhile.
How in the world do we keep our lives balanced and keep up with this worldwide land of blogs?
That is the million dollar question and I do believe that we are all struggling with this across the blogosphere. We are all so plugged in these days that I fear we sometimes lose touch with reality and the truth is, I do not want to be connected and plugged in 24/7 and I refuse to do it.
I’m hitting my 3 year blogoversary the 1st of February and oh, my word, at how things have grown and evolved since I started my little ole’ blog back then. Blogging has sky-rocketed and now everyone from grandma, to great aunt, mom, niece, your best friend from college and her daughter has a blog. So, what does this mean for our sanity? I have to confess keeping the balance in blogging is not always easy. I spend hours at it, writing my posts, loading pics, and coming up with ideas to talk about and share.
Not to mention, trying SO hard to keep up with friends and blog buddies I’ve met out there. That is the most difficult thing and it has just gotten harder and harder to do. Most weeks, I barely make a dent in leaving comments, visiting with all of you and just getting myself out there. I think we are all spread so thin. Blogging has so many rewards, but there are also pitfalls too and I see some posts around the blogworld about this very subject.
- How do you keep your own unique voice and not get caught up in the competition with all the others out there in your niche? Hard to do, I’ll admit. There seems to be a certain amount of a competitive spirit that goes along with this blogging thang and I know that’s not healthy, is it? As a Christian, I know that’s something I have to keep in check, so here are a few things that I’ve observed and see out in blogland that could be hazardous to our health.
- How do we keep balance in our lives and not let blogging take over? Where is our validation coming from? I see so many new bloggers scrambling to get their name out there and grow their blog to be bigger and better. Nothing wrong with that, but I just hope the family doesn’t suffer for it. These are all things I deal with myself, so I’m just putting it in writing for you all to ponder too. I know if I struggle with these issues, many of you are too. We all LOVE comments, myself included. But, we can’t let comments and validation from blogging become the end all for our self-esteem. It has to come from God first of all and then our family.
- Moms and blogging – I’ve heard some mothers talk about needing to step back from blogging, because they feared their children are not getting the attention they deserve from blogging mama. That’s one of the things that I fear: young moms getting caught up in the blogworld and not having enough time for the little ones. Please don’t let that be you! Blogging is fun, but it’s not real life. We all have to keep our real lives in perspective and actually live them. I don’t have any children at home, but I do have a hubby that needs me.
- My friend, Melissa, just wrote a post about her struggles with this issue and she is turning off comments on her blog most of the time to help her with the balance and I think that is such a brave thing to do. Could you turn off your comments? I’m not sure I could. I love to hear from my readers!
- Growing a blog and advertising. I see so many getting caught up in the idea of making money from their blogs and this idea seems to have exploded in the last year. Yes, it can happen. I have advertising on my blog too, but I waited until I was blogging over a year before I even attempted to do any advertising and then I took it slow and easy and joined BlogHer ad network first before anything else was developed. I just hate to see so many getting caught up in the monetary part of blogging so much, scrambling to grow blogs for the sole reason of making money. I have read many cautions against that from much more savvy bloggers than I am and totally agree with it myself. Not every blog is going to grow big. That’s just a fact. And I don’t think you can predict that, it either happens or it doesn’t. Not to mention, it takes a lot of work to have a successful blog. Those who are successful with it are spending countless hours at it. And believe me, I’m not getting rich at it. It’s like a full-time job with part-time pay. But, I love it and enjoy it, so it’s worth it to me. So, all of that to say this. I urge you all to keep it in perspective. The blogworld is so big. There’s no way to develop deep friendships with everyone. I wish it was possibly for me to know all of you out there who come by and visit me so often, but that’s just not feasible either. I have enjoyed blogging so much and it has enlarged and enriched my life tremendously, but I don’t want to see people getting hurt in blogging and I can see burn-out happening and family life suffering. I’m talking to myself here too.
Here are my main struggles with blogging, see if any of these ring a bell with you too:
- Keeping those competitive feelings with others in my niche in check. Even with a fairly successful blog, there is always that nagging feeling of trying to keep your place in the blogworld. Will people keep supporting my blog or get bored?? What if I run out of projects to show, will people still keep coming back? The decor niche is exploding with projects and new blogs and no one can keep up with all of them.
- Feeling the urge to fly around the blogosphere every day, in fear that I will miss something important that is going on. I love to see all the projects, posts and things happening in the decorating/design world and yet I miss SO much, because there is only so much time in the day. If a few days go by, I really start to feel out of the loop and even more pressure to catch up. And the reality is, there is NO catching up! It’s just become impossible.
- Letting my housework fall to the side so many days, when I need to be more diligent about prioritizing and actually getting things done in real life that need to get done. I get lazy and procrastinate and would just as soon blog instead of getting up and moving. I used to be such a fanatic about housework, but the older I get, the more slack I cut myself.
- Not getting my validation from blogging. Again, that has to come from God above (and my loved ones) and not because I get a lot of comments or visitors. But, I love comments and hearing from all of you!
- I do manage to get to the gym and work out as usual, but I don’t get outside nearly as much as I used to. And I love being outside! I vow to do that more this year. I have a lot of projects I’d like to get finished in my yard too. It needs work!
So, join me as I endeavor to keep blogging in balance. Please try to keep it all in perspective and continue to be the voice and person that God made YOU to be. We are all so unique and hand-made by our Creator and he made us all different for a specific purpose. And I think that we all have a place here in this blogworld.
I’m getting ready to go to the Blissdom conference in Nashville in just a few short days. I went last year and had a blast and this year it’s going to be twice as big. I wish I could meet up with all of you, but I know that’s not possible either. If you are coming to Blissdom, please come and say hello. I want to meet you and hug your neck. And if you’re not going to Blissdom, don’t feel bad. It’s OK. Blissdom is just a fun conference, but it’s not going to make or break you as a blogger. It’s fun and there will be a bunch of people to meet, but at the end of the day, we all come back to our homes and our lives.
And we all have to find that balance. I’m still trying to find mine. And I’m not always successful. Housework falls through the cracks and projects don’t always get done. Blogging can just take over your head and your time and as much as I enjoy it, I want to make an impact in other ways too. And to do that requires me to get out of that computer chair. This is just one tool that God has given me to shine my light.
And for that I’m grateful!
How are YOU doing in the balance of blogging? I’d love to hear. This was rather a serious post and I would love it if you would share your hearts with me about your blogging journey.
Oh gosh, Rhoda, I posted these same sort of questions myself just a couple of weeks ago. I did step back a bit and have been posting less while I refocus my goals… both for the blog and my real life. I’m pretty sure the two can co-exist! Setting aside my feelings of competitiveness and inadequacy will be tough but it seems like an important first step that could actually work. Have fun at Blissdom! Meeting other bloggers in the real world… what a concept!… I’ll have to try it myself one day soon : )
Hi Rhoda. I enjoyed reading this post. Your blog was the very first blog I found. I had no idea that there was such a thing as bloggers. lol I have been blogging for close to a year now and do notice that some bloggers are sooo competitive. I don’t think I am working hard to be competitive like that. I don’t do it for the money either. I just enjoy blogging and it’s just more of a personal and fun thing for me.
You keep up the good work. I always enjoy visiting your blog.
Blessings,
Sandra
Bravo, Bravo Rhonda.
I too am overwhelmed by it all.
Hugs….Tracy 🙂
Oh yeah, you can never really catch up LOL! So true! I feel bad but I’ve stopped trying. I just can’t do it all and do it well. Plus I have lots of interests that I like to give time to as well and as I’m sure everyone knows, you can spend HOURS looking at blogs! Although, I love seeing everyone’s creativity there are just so many hours in a day. If you don’t give yourself time to have other interests what are you going to blog about anyway. Besides I just think it’s unhealthy to be so wrapped up in one thing.
Yes, I’ve thought about turning off comments for some posts more and more – sometimes I do but then people usually go to the last post and comment!
Hugs,
Manuela
Rhoda, great post! I’ve been thinking about all of these issues lately. I just posted a blog vacation post and then I read this. Great timing! I’m taking a break to reflect on some of these questions and work on me and my family. I’m challenging myself to spend more time in the Word of God and less in blog land. But, I love your ideas so if you keep posting, I’ll keeping reading!
Rhoda, I can’t begin to tell you how much this post resonated with me. You said so many things that I’m feeling right now. Thank you!
Hey there,
I have a question for you! This is totally unrelated to your post…..but I couldn’t find your email. Anyhow, I am wanting to purchase interior design software. Software that I can use to manipulate digital photos of rooms I am redesigning. Kinda like what Layla does at the Letter cottage. I noticed that you are now offering your services for design so I thought that you would be a good person to ask:) If you know the name of the software or someone I could talk to I would greatly appreciate it:)
Thanks so much Rhoda!!
Blessings to you ,
Melissa
A balanced life is the secret to success. Great post.
Rhoda, this is a great post and something that is always on my mind. I work 30 hours a week, my husband works crazy hours as a small biz owner and we have two kids AND I have two blogs. Stop the madness! 😉 But seriously I love it and I’m passionate about blogging/social media. I’m now coordinating social media efforts for the small business publishing company I work for, too.
As for me personally I do a few things to stay balanced. I generally never post on Sundays. I stay off Twitter at night when my kids and husband are here (for the most part…ahem.) Also my motto for 2010 is “if it doesn’t fit don’t commit…” I have a tendency to say yes to all projects, especiallly now that I have a review blog, but it’s just not feasible. I also will occasionally just mark “read all” in my Reader and I strive to keep it under 100 blogs that I follow.
Any way, all in all I try to realize that no one in my family or circle of friends is as passionate about my blog as ME and I need to keep that in mind to keep it “real.” 😉
I’m afraid I won’t have any witty comments today, just a heartfelt AMEN! You addressed everything I’ve been thinking about blogging. I just started blogging at the very end of November. As a professional writer/artist, you think I’d have done it sooner, but, alas, I wanted to be a good mom to all three of my kids, one who is little (he just turned 4) AND I was very sick after his birth (long story there shared at a later time.) Having recently moved to AL, I thought blogging was a great way to stay in contact with old friends/show what our family is up to and ALSO to meet other folks who shared my love of particular things, like design.
But I don’t post every day. Sometimes I don’t post every week. There’s no way I can ever “compete” with REAL bloggers who are diligent about new content and offering giveaways all the time and link parties all the time and…I knew that up front, that there was no way I could compete. But I’m not doing it to compete. That doesn’t mean that I sometimes don’t feel hurt by having only 3 followers (okay, it’s more than that, but not much!) as I’m a sensitive soul. But that’s evil trying to distract me. I KNOW in my heart that God will lead the readers who need to read my blog, even if it IS only 3, so that I may encourage them. I truly love to encourage people. It’s one of my spiritual gifts and something I did a lot of when I was touring so much. It is thus OKAY if I don’t sing/speak to thousands of people any more. God has that one person whom I can encourage already in mind. And my blog entries may only be read my friends and family who truly NEED to see my children’s faces or the house updates on any given day, and that, too, is OKAY and God’s will. Sometimes it’s very humbling, but that, too, is OKAY. Actually, it’s not only OKAY, it is necessary.
I want you to know that I TRULY appreciate when you can comment on and visit my site, but I absolutely understand how popular and busy you truly are. You are such an amazing inspiration to so many and God has seen fit to raise your platform to an immense scale. And you handle it with grace and continually point others back to Him, like with this post. I respect that. And while I’d love to visit with you personally every week (remember those awesome dishes I said all stalker-like that I was going to come down and eat off with you?!?!!? LOL!!!! HA!!!) I understand.
Keep doing what you’re doing. Keep those “real” posts about the pitfalls of blogging like this one that speak so clearly to me to keep doing what I am doing, even if on such a tiny scale. And of course keep on with all those interior design and cooking and thrifting pieces that you do so marvelously. You are a joy!!!
Thank you so much for the encouragement today to be a tiny blog so I can be a HUGE (okay, we’ve already talked about my thighs & your pork chop recipe…but that’s not where I’m going with this one) mother to my kids.
Love in Christ,
Lana
Rhoda, I love that you are examining these questions. I had to take a long break to catch up with things I put off doing that have got to be done. I hear you on that note.
I blog for enjoyment. I blog to make new friends and find new ideas. I have been asked by companies to blog commercially, but I think that would add extra stress to my life that I just don’t need because I no longer blog daily. I started out doing memes, and I was faithful with them each week. But I’ve learned I can’t do that and keep up with my life… like housework, etc. So I have to pick and choose.
The main thing I enjoy about blogging is all of the friendships I have made. It brings the world so much closer and so many people whom I adore are literally at the click of a computer keyboard. That’s the part I love.
But yes, the Lord has to be first and foremost, and it’s from Him that we “live and breathe and have our being.” He is the true affirmation we need.
That being said, I hope you know how much I love you!
XO,
Sheila 🙂
Dear Rhoda,
See-I wasn’t even able to answer your wonderful post on time! Yours was one of the very first blogs I “found” when I started-not even a year ago. I always read your posts and feel I have gathered so many blog friends along the way. When we travelled south at Christmas I kept saying, as we passed through states, -“that’s where my friend___ lives!” That is what I love; the people I have “met”. Because I like to read their posts, I barely have time to write mine, and I feel guilty and often very inadequate that I can’t accomplish what others do. When my kids are around-back from college, the city or home from school, I don’t go near the computer-then I wonder what I have missed-you really do have to make a balance and give yourself a break. Thanks for this and your other wonderful posts!
~Nancy
Right on!
Hi Rhoda,
I haven’t read a single comment here and I haven’t been by your blog in a while, so when I stumbled upon this post (on a Sunday no less – a no, no for me), I had to comment.
The moment I begin to feel as though my blog MUST come before something else, that’s a sign that I need to step back. I have tried to schedule blog posts a least a week ahead, so all I have to do is press the publish button and that’s that. That’s how I balance my need (yes, need) to blog with my life.
Content? Pictures? Fresh ideas? I figure they’ll come to me somehow, some way. If not, I don’t have to post. Competition? Well, as with everything else, there is always someone out there who is better, faster, smarter… but there is only one you. As long as you put your stamp on it, don’t worry about anything else. You have loyal readers – people who appreciate your time and effort.
Great post. I can certainly relate to some of the feelings that you shared. Time management has become an issue. I have gotten behind on reading all of the blogs that I would like to read…it has created a “messy build-up” as the Berenstain Bears would say…I have created a messy build-up in many rooms due to the time I have spent at the computer. Yes, I can relate. How to manage? I get behind on blogging and I just have to accept it…but, I love the new friends that I have made. They keep me coming back…no, I couldn’t turn off the comments. The comments are motivating.
Maybe if I wasn’t working there would be more time! Now that is a great idea!
Hey friend,
While I’m not a blogger, I certainly can relate to being a woman whose life is out of balance. Years ago when I sought Christian counseling, I cried to the counselor “I just want a balanced life.” Our culture promotes the driven lifestyle and we Christian women are made to feel guilty when we cannot be all to everyone and do all for everyone. Amen, Sister, true validation can only come from God. Thanks for being vulnerable with your readers and freely sharing your heart.
Love you,
Vic
Dear Rhoda, Your post is so genuinely honest and completely engaging. I hope you know you have had a positive influence on many – I climbed out of my “I just don’t have time to decorate” hole because of your blog. I had given up something I loved because I was too busy with my children and my full-time job, but now I am doing it and I consider it “me” time! Time management is hard for all of us; I hope you don’t leave blogland but would understand if you did. Perhaps setting parameters “Dear Bloggers, I will post every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday” would eliminate some of the stress – I don’t know what that does to advertising, etc, because that is foreign to me but trust me … I would continue to follow regardless of changes you made, and I am sure many others feel the same. God bless. Diane
I could have written your post! I started to become that person last year. I was just getting really into blogging and I found myself during my home schooling day spending about 6 hours on blogs and still having 27 windows open when my husband got home…whether or not I had dinner on the table…blogging was taking over my life. I stepped way back from it this past fall and into the winter I have barely posted. I miss hearing comments and I have worried a bit about my lack of growing followers that happened in the beginning…but like you, I find my validation elsewhere.
I miss my fire I had with blogging for a while–in my own writing, but I am more content to occasionally post now and be more focused on teaching my children what is important by MODELING it instead of trying to tell them and do something different.
I appreciate hearing your opinion on this because I haven’t been doing this long and I have gone up and down with trying to take it full term and get advertising and really build it up. But I have already had writer’s block in less than a year.
Thank you so much for sharing!! I fully agree. My limits now are as I am able. Often I will browse but I don’t post because that tends to be when it sucks me in. So I guess I am a lurker, which I know isn’t a popular thing to be. But the key is if something really grabs my attention, I will try to post something. Maybe enter an occasional contest, but otherwise, I spend less than an hour a week with blogs now when I was spending numerous hours every day!
You’re such a sweetie Rhoda. Regarding the young moms, we all had outlets at one time, so maybe they are watching fewer soap operas or reading fewer books than the rest of us used to squeeze in when our kids were young. I hope. I know reading blogs is my escape, but is sooooo mentally stimulating that I do it too much. But, if I do it on the couch next to DH watching football….not so bad? Can’t imagine blogging myself. Now THAT’s a big job. Good luck on your balance.