Hair is always a topic that we as women love to discuss and hair is ever changing it seems. We have to stay up on new things to keep our hair looking good as we age, so that’s what I’m sharing today. Today on Fashion over 50, I’m going to dive into the curly hair conversation that we started last week. Every time I wear my hair curly, you all love it. I get a lot of compliments here and on Instagram raving about my curly wavy hair. I’ll add that my hair is more wavy than spiral curly these days, although I think it was a bit curlier when I was younger as you can see from the pic below.
I was about 28 in the above pic, which I’ve shared before. I had lots of layers cut in my short bob and didn’t have to do much to it for all this curl. I just used some styling gel and dried it on low with a hair dryer for all that volume and curl. It was always big hair back then. Body in my hair is something I’ve never lacked.
Now I don’t have quite as many layers as I did back then. The sides of my hair are also thinner than back then too and a little longer in the front, but I still have plenty of hair. It’s on the wavy side now and not spiral curls like many curly girls have. So, today Iet’s talk about curly hair. I think many of you have curly/wavy hair too and aren’t we always trying to figure out what to do with it?
I know I have spent all my life in a bit of a love/hate relationship with my hair. I’ve had so many hairstyles over the years, but they always had a lot of volume until the flat iron came out and I could actually flatten and tame it into a sleeker style. I still plan to flat iron my hair too, but I’m glad I have options and I’m glad there are better products out there now for curly/wavy hair. When that’s the natural kind of hair we have, why not embrace it more?
I shared the back of my hair last week after using some new curly hair products which I’ll share below. This was day one of styling my hair with these products and I was really happy with the results. I’ll share some other pics of days after this and how it looked then. Curly hair can look really good, but it doesn’t always look the same every single day. Some days are better than others.
Let me just say, I’m still reading up on the Curly Girl method of taking care of hair and I found most of my information from the Naturally Curly website. Apparently, the Curly Girl method is a book by Lorraine Massey (affiliate link below). I have not read the book, but the main points of the book are listed on the Naturally Curly website I linked above.
I’m not going to retype all that’s already on the website, you can go over and read it all too, but the main things to avoid with curly/wavy hair are:
- Shampoo (especially those with Sulfates)
- Heat
- Combs/Brushes
- Fragrance
- Sulfates -namely sodium lauryl sulfate & ammonium laureth sulfate
- Non-Water Soluble Silicones
- Alcohol
So, basically any styling products with those ingredients above are not good for curly hair. I’m sure over the years I’ve used all the wrong products on my hair. Curly hair tends to be dry as I have known about my own hair over the years. The more you can hydrate curly hair, the more it will look healthy and bouncy instead of dry and damaged.
The Curly Girl method basically trades in regular shampoo for conditioners and gels only (and the ones without harsh ingredients). You can experiment with your own hair and see how it responds. I’ve used Sulfate free shampoo for a few years now and knew that Sulfates were bad for my hair.
She gives recommendations for wavy, curly, and coily hair, so depending on your hair type, you can experiment with certain products and methods of styling to get the best results for your curly/wavy hair.
I’m between wavy and curly hair, so I read that part and have followed some of these methods for the past two times I’ve washed my hair.
Now, I don’t wash my hair but twice a week. I hardly ever go longer than 5 or 6 days without washing, depending on my schedule. That has changed dramatically because when I was younger I washed my hair every day, which isn’t good for hair. Especially course thick hair like mine. As I’ve gotten older, I don’t have oily skin around my hairline as much anymore and that made my hair oily back then, so I couldn’t stand that and washed way more often. Going to the gym and sweating a lot, my hair would always get soaked too, but it’s not as bad as it used to be. We all lose a lot of moisture on our skin and hair as we age.
As I’ve read up on this method, it made sense to me and I figured I’d try some of the products recommended as well as the methods of caring for curly hair and see if it made a difference. And I’m happy to say, it did make a difference immediately, the first time I tried the products, so I’ll share all of that below too.
I went to Target and looked up the products listed on the Naturally Curly website and started looking for the brands that were recommended, so that’s how I came up with the products I bought. There are many products suggested, so just note that I found some that Target had in stock and those are the ones I’ve tried. You may need to experiment for your hair and see what works for you if you have curly/wavy hair too. I’ve spent a small fortune over the years on hair products so if I find something that works well for me, I definitely stick with it.
Here’s another little tip I have always done. See that pink pick above? That’s all I’ve ever used to style my hair. I never brush my hair with a hairbrush. I use a big round brush when I’m drying my hair if I’m going to flat iron it, but I never just brush my hair. I do use a wide tooth comb to comb it out, but once it’s dry, that’s all I use to pull my hair apart and style it. It works whether I’ve flat ironed it or I’m wearing it curly. That little pick is all I’ve ever used for my whole life. I don’t even know how long I’ve had this one, many years now. I’m down to only one, but usually have an extra one around.
If you don’t have a hair dryer with a diffuser on it, you’ll definitely want to get one of those for drying your hair. The black thing on the end is the diffuser and it keeps the air from coming out too fast. It blows low and diffuses your hair with low heat as you dry it. I’ve heard all sorts of recommendations for this too. They even get into discussions about porosity, density, and width of hair, but I haven’t gone any further into that. I’ve just skimmed the basics, but if you want to know more head over to the Naturally Curly website and there is SO much information.
I’ve heard to never use heat, to only air dry. I’ve heard that many use a diffuser for most of the drying process and then air dry. I can’t air dry, I wash my hair at night and no way will go to bed with sopping wet hair, so I’m always going to use a diffuser when I go curly. Of course, sleeping on damp hair will disturb the curl pattern and you basically have to restyle in the morning when you get up. I’ll get to that more below as I talk about what I’ve done lately with my styling.
I’ve also heard to only use t-shirts to blot hair and never terrycloth towels. I haven’t gotten t-shirts yet for blotting my hair, but I did buy a microfiber hair towel. Not sure that does any good or not, but I heard that terrycloth towels rough up the hair cuticle and cause frizziness, which we curly girls are always trying to avoid.
That’s been my biggest problem with going curly/wavy with my hair. The frizz has been unavoidable, so that’s where these products come in. I think they are definitely making a difference in the frizz control for my hair, I can certainly tell a big difference already in that. Now we will see what happens when summer arrives!
Another thing you might want to get is a spray bottle for spritzing your hair with water if you are like me and have to restyle it in the morning if you’re going curly. I wash my hair at night, dry with the diffuser, but after sleeping on it, the sides flatten out (especially one side that I tend to sleep on). So spraying my hair with water to activate the gel again or adding a little more gel or leave-in conditioner helps the hair to re-curl and look good for the day.
The majority of my curl/wave is in the back of my hair and the sides are not quite as wavy, so I have to work with the sides and top more to get it looking good. Let me tell you that wearing your hair curly or wavy is not easier than flat ironing. I can go several days with my hair flat ironed without having to do much to it. But keeping curly hair looking good for 4 days in a row is a challenge! I’m sure those of you with curly hair know just what I mean. It’s also been recommended to me to get a satin pillowcase which I haven’t done yet either.
Curly hair just takes more time and effort to keep it looking good, that’s been my experience. But this method and these new products are definitely helping, I can say that for sure.
So, here’s what I bought at Target. This brand, As I Am, was on one of the lists I pulled up and Target had several items in this brand. It was mentioned on the Curly Girl method that co-washing curly hair is good for it instead of using traditional shampoo. If you have wavy hair, they mentioned using non-sulfate shampoo which I do anyway, but I figured a co-wash might be worth trying.
Co-Washing is basically washing your hair with conditioner. This co-wash above is a cleansing cream conditioner that you rub into your scalp with fingertips and not fingernails. They suggest you massage your scalp to let the natural oils and dirt come out and then be washed away for a few minutes in the shower. This is a gentle method of washing curly/wavy hair to add hydration and not strip away the natural oils. I’ve used the co-wash twice so far. You might think that using this would make your hair feel oily, but it does not.
It’s also suggested that you use a leave-in conditioner in your hair if it is curly or wavy. I thought this might weigh down my hair and make it feel greasy and heavy, but again, it did not. My hair felt soft and manageable after using it. So after the co-wash which is washed out in the shower, I added this leave-in conditioner, about a quarter’s size in my palm rubbed through my hair to the ends.
Next, I picked up this styling gel or custard which was one of the products recommended and Target had this on the shelf. It definitely helps to define the curls in my hair more and helped the sides to hold the curl/wave as I dried it. My hair looks really good when I first diffuse it with the dryer. The more I sleep on it and as days go by, I have to rework it and activate the gel again with some water, especially the sides and top of my hair.
So, here is Day 2 after using the Co-wash, conditioner and gel in my hair. I did have to work on the sides with spritzing more water and scrunching the hair to get the curl and waves defined again. Most curly girls know that scrunching is using your hands when hair is wet and you’re diffusing it, cupping with your hands and getting the curls to activate.
And here’s a quick shot of the back on Day 2. It’s still very wavy. I usually bend over and use that pick I showed you to pull out the hair clumps and separate the waves and make them more defined. I use my fingers a lot too on the top and sides to separate and pull my hair where I want it.
The thing with curly hair is you just don’t know exactly what it’s going to do on any given day. Some days it feels pretty and sassy and other days, it feels like I shouldn’t be going out like that! It just feels messy and unruly. But I have to say these products are helping me like it much better on day 2 and 3.
Here’s another day after co-washing, Day 4. It gets more challenging as the days go by. It’s almost easier just to start over with everything again, but the longer you can go without washing again, the better. I spritzed the sides with water as well as the top.
The back by now was getting a little clumpier and not as defined with the wave and curl.
But still not bad. The frizz is definitely more under control than it used to be at this stage.
Other side, so you can see the whole hair style. I know many people would kill to have curly wavy hair like this. I wish I could share it with you! It’s funny because in high school, the style then was long flowy straight hair. I never had long flowy straight hair in my life and always envied those that did have silky flowing locks. I’m not kidding when I say I used a pick on my hair my entire life! There was a reason for that!
And here’s a shot at Day 1 again, using the products a second time. They really do work well for me. This is diffusing with the hair gel. I do think these products really help hydrate the hair with good ingredients which keeps the frizz down. I have struggled with frizz my entire life too.
If I can use products that help my hair look better and feel better, then I’m definitely going to do that. Again, I’m not going to stop straightening my hair completely, but from what I’m reading, the more that curly girls use this method and add good products to your hair, the better your hair will perform. I’ve been following along on some Instagram girls who tag their hair #curlygirl and watching their hair stories too. So many of them started on the Curly Girl method and watched their hair texture and curl change over time. The better they treated their hair, the better it looked. Many of them have gorgeous curly hair!
So, I think I will embrace my curly hair more and more and wear it curly more and more. The more I use these products with better ingredients for my hair type, the better it will look, I think. I just wanted to share this with all of you and if you have curly/wavy hair, I know you can relate. I do think the products and method of caring for curly hair does make a big difference and I’m learning more all the time.
Here are the 3 products I found at Target (affiliate links provided.) This is by no means the only products out there, there are so many. I’ve heard great things about DivaCurl too, so I’ll link a few more things that are recommended as well. I can attest to the 3 I bought (not the DivaCurl products) as working for my hair type. I was pleasantly surprised that my hair didn’t feel weighed down and greasy, but even more bouncy and softer than ever. The gel isn’t really crunchy either. It does hold, but doesn’t leave a hard gel set to the curls and you can still separate them too without any problem. I don’t like super crunchy curls on me. The more you use, the crunchier it is, but I didn’t use too much on mine to get it to set and curl more.
All of you curly girls, feel free to chime in and share what is working or has worked for you and your curly/wavy hair. I think this can help all of us!
Susanne Thompson says
Beautiful!! My hair is very similar to yours but longer. You have inspired me to give my naturally curly hair another option. Thanks so much for sharing. Keep it up, you look gorgeous!!
Rhoda says
Thank you, Susanne! You should definitely try the curly method and see what you think. Although as I mentioned, it’s harder to keep curly hair looking good on day 3 or 4. That’s been my challenge, but I’m learning more things to do like spritzing with a water bottle and the leave in conditioner seems to be really working for me too to keep the frizz at bay.
Monica D says
Ha!!! I think we all had that same hairstyle in the 80’s! I know I did. Exactly the same. My hair too has changed, hormones, thinning, thyroid problems, etc. One of the best products I have found for my hair are by Ouidad. She specializes in curly hair. You can find her products at Ulta. The gel is best for frizzy hair days, just run it through your hair and air dry.
Rhoda says
I’ve heard good things about Ouidad products too, but haven’t tried them. There are so many out there for curly hair. DivaCurl is what I’m hearing about the most now for curls.
Margo says
You have such beautiful hair it’s hard to believe that you would try to straighten it. This coming from someone with poker straight hair, I know, we always want what we don’t have. I always had a lot of hair even though it had a very fine texture. However, a few years back after a major, strict diet and losing 50 lbs., my hair started thinning to the point where I became almost obsessed with worrying over it. Also, my age of 62 at the time and stress from buying, selling, moving etc were contributing factors. My point here being that you are lucky to have such a great head of hair.
But my question is this: how do you manage to wash your hair only twice per week if you work out? I started washing it every other day and then resorted to every third day. Now I find that twice a week is a good option but I try to avoid any activity that makes me sweat. Do you use a shower cap? My doctor has advised me that I need to exercise more than anything and if I were to join a gym, I think I would be showering everyday. I apologize for such a personal question but I really would like to hear how others handle this situation. Thank you for listening!
Rhoda says
Yes, we do want what we don’t have. Since I never had straight soft silky hair it was so fun to finally get hair under control with a flat iron and really, I like it straight too. It makes me feel chic when it’s straight. I do know I’m very lucky to have a head full of hair, I’ve always had thick coarse hair but it does soften up with the right products. I do go to the gym about 3 times a week and walk outside some. But my head doesn’t sweat like it used to so I don’t get that sweaty around my head. I do use a shower cap. I found one on Amazon that I’ll include in my products linked below. It works very well and has a fabric lining. Even with exercising, I shower but don’t wash my hair but twice a week.
Gina says
Thank you for sharing. Love your hair curly! I too have always had a love/hate relationship with my curls but I really don’t like my hair flat ironed. I spend so much money on product trying to find the perfect one and have a cabinet full of cast offs. Seems they weigh down my hair…will check the ingredients. Will try some of these you’ve recommended next. I’m curious as to your cut…do you have layers? Also, do you color your hair? Seems the color changes the texture so much and it’s harder to curl. I’m so tempted to go grey….but scared I’ll look 80 rather than 60.
Rhoda says
Hi, Gina, I do have layers, but not short top layers,it’s layered in the back and sides, but not as short layers as I had way back in the 80’s and 90’s. And I do color my hair. Really my colored hair feels better than gray does, the gray gets unruly and so coarse, so I love my colored hair. I’ll be coloring for a long time!
Vonda Livingston says
Loved reading this because girl you know I’ve got the curly hair and I have found over the years that it has been easier and easier to manage! Loving all your tips and always on the lookout for awesome products because right when I find one I love it’s discontinued. 😂 My tips: 1) I also never use a brush …I don’t even use a pick! Lol I use my fingers and then flip my head over and I have all kinds of volume! 2) I always let it dry naturally. This keeps it from being frizzy although when I travel and go into different climates it’s always going to throw me a curveball no pun intended! 3) And I love using hot rollers when I’m going to a fancy event because my curls are much softer. Leave them in for 20 minutes and then style the curls with my fingers and it lasts all night! Miss you
Rhoda! Love reading your blog because it doesn’t seem you’re as far away!
Rhoda says
Hey, Vonda, so glad you stopped by! Yes, girl you have a head full of curls and you always look great. I’m sure you have been through the products with your hair too.
Monica Converse says
I am a curly girl and I just love your curls! I’d love to see Suzanne Thompson with curls! Anyhow, I am a faithful user of Ouidad products and go to a salon that is certified in this menthol and love it! Of course, my stylist is simply THE best and has curly hair also! Keep curling Rhoda!
Carol-Anne Powell says
I embraced that Curly Girl method about 7 years ago when I first heard of it & it works!
One thing: You may want to get a silk pillowcase to keep the curl pattern from breaking down between shampoos. I found it made a huge difference.
Rhoda says
HI, Carol-Anne, I may have to break down and get a silk pillowcase. I keep hearing that!
Bonniee says
Rhoda, On Facebook there is a group of Deva Curl people you can join & they post links to sales on Silk pillowcases. I got mine around Christmas time from a place I believe it was called Mysilk.com for $17.99. Only one side is silk and the other is cotton. Hope this helps!
Rhoda says
HI, Bonnie, thank you, that sounds good. I’ll definitely look one up and get one. I like that it’s silk only on one side.
beth b says
I have curly/wavy hair, too, and fought it for such a long time. Especially when I was a teen in the 70s and everyone had long, straight hair. Thanks for these tips and product recommendations. Can’t wait to try them out!
Jenna says
I have your same hair type, curly/wavy, thick and course. When I was younger I only used Vidal Sassoon and wore my hair very similar to yours. And I cursed it all through high school when other girls were wearing long and straight! I use DivaCurl No-Poo and it’s really great! Be sure to buy the “No-Poo” as the “Low-Poo” is not the same thing. I don’t love their conditioner though. For conditioner I prefer the tube that comes in Preference color box kits. I will even buy the box color when on sale just for the conditioner! I can’t wait to try the products you found, especially the curling custard. I’ll see how it gets along with the DivaCurl No-Poo. Thanks!
Cindy in Oklahoma says
Oh how I wish my hair would do this! Is there such a thing as a hair lift, because this curly style has definitely given a beautiful woman an even more beautiful lift! I love love love it.
Becky in 'Bama says
I am in the same camp with the other writer “Margo” – having endured the worst hair my entire life – spending tons of cash on body waves, super perms, short hair, bobbed hair, gelled hair, highlighted hair – but always with the same end result – tired limp locks. I mostly skimmed your post today and looked at the pics – since there is nothing to be gained for me but a bad case of jealousy! I do love your hair like this – when you aren’t fighting the curls -just beautiful!! I understand the folks who have the kinky tight ringlets and the frustration associated with that – but aren’t we all self-critical of what we have been given? Ha ha It’s the bent of the human soul to always be wanting what we don’t have. But you do have a great head of hair. Pretty photos. Enjoy!
Rhoda says
Thank you, Becky, it’s amazing how many different hair types there are out there and none of us are completely happy with what we have.
Sara says
I am so envious of your beautiful hair! Thanks for the tips. I am passing on to my cousin who has curly hair!
Mary says
Ok, so I’m gonna chime in also:). I bought the 3 products on Saturday (I messaged you on Saturday via Instagram-btw—thanks for the help). I’ve been washing my hair with regular shampoo (I think, I’ll need to double check) so the cowash was way out of my comfort zone. Because with this, there are no suds😬 so how..can-it-be-clean..thoughts. I wash in the morning, so I do have a diffuser to help speed up the drying process also. I only have the wide tooth comb but will be getting the pick. Years back, I only used a pick but got away from it since I was straightening my hair. Thanks for the reminder :). I wash my hair every other day (I use a lined shower cap)but I am going to try your hints to re-style with just spritzing and adding more gel. I too fight with the sides and top to get more curl there but it’s because my layers are longer hence heavier in these sites. So, I’ve used these 3 products twice and I love it! Ditto on all that you say..less frizz and no “crunch”! Thx Rhoda! Also gonna pull out my silk pillowcase again.😊
Rhoda says
HI, Mary, I’m so glad to hear this! I thought they were definitely working on me, so I’m glad to hear your good results after using a couple of times too. I’m going to have to break down and get a silk pillowcase too.
Lynne says
Thank you for all this info. I think we both have the same type of hair. I want to leave it curlier (my husband likes it that way) and I’ve wondered just what products to use. And I’m definitely going to get a pick instead of brushing my hair. Your hair looks great!
Marianne A. says
Thank you for this. My daughter has super curly, long hair, which tends to be on the dry side, so I ordered a few of the products for her to try and shipped them to her at college. So she’ll be getting a fun care package on Friday from Target!
Rhoda says
HI, Marianne, I hope she likes them too!
Lisa says
I’ve had the long, silky, straight hair that people envied most of my life. Then came menopause…breakage and frizz! It’s also a little thinner, although I still have a ton of hair. It is also wavier now and if I let it dry naturally, it is kinda ‘beachy.’ I’m learning to work with that. Although, if I dry with a brush, it’s mostly straight.
I had that SAME ‘retro’ hairstyle when I was in my 20s courtesy of a perm! NOT a good look for me at all, and I am glad there aren’t many pictures of me with it. I know that was the style, though. My BFF had the exact style as well, and we both scrunched and spritzed with Fantasia Liquid Mousse and Hair Spray! Our hair did not move!
Roxanne says
Lucky girl with that headful of gorgeous curly hair…says the girl with fine, straight hair! 💕
Rhoda says
Thank you, Roxanne!
Julie S. says
Hi Rhoda!
Thank you for this post.Your curly hair looks so nice! But I get the love/ hate relationship. My hair is thick, coarse and frizzy. I keep it in long layers, and was flat ironing for the past few years. My hubby likes my hair curly, but I get frustrated with it, and rarely wear it curly. It just doesn’t make me happy, it’s flat on top and sides and takes huge effort to look nice. I’m thinking of trying the products you are using to see if they will work for me. I won’t go to bed with wet hair, either. Have also been using a shower cap for years. A co worker a few years back was horrified that I didn’t wash my hair daily! If it isn’t dirty, why go through all the work? People that don’t have our hair type do not understand! The struggle is real, lol 😂 You help in so many ways with the information on your blog, and I sure do appreciate it. Thanks again! I’ll let you know how these products work for me.
Julie S.
Rhoda says
HI, Julie, I’m so glad this resonates. I know so many of us have this hair type and no, people don’t get it. They all say oh you’re so lucky, but it comes with work and doesn’t look great without effort. I hope you like them too, they really made a difference for me.
Leila says
Looks fabulous
If you’re having trouble getting the sides to behave why not have them trimmed about half inch to take off the weight? Would that help?
Rhoda says
Hi, Leila, I like the longer front for when I do it straight, I think it adds a bit to the haircut to have it angled slightly so I don’t want it all the same length. I don’t think that would make much difference anyway.
Mary says
Your hair looks great Rhoda. My girl also has curly hair and I never knew how to take care of it when she was little. Now that she is grown up she chides me about what a bad hair mama I was all those years. I’m going to share this with her so you can give her some tips.