Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011:Â my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK.  I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Hi Rhoda,
I still read your blog and if I miss a post I usually try to catch up. I am one of the ones that doesn’t always leave a comment….
This post has been something I need to hear today…feeling a little blue and overwhelmed this morning. Sometimes we just need to slow down and take the time needed to rest, regroup and enjoy the blessings we have. It’s so easy to get too busy and forget what is important!
You are such an inspiration. Wishing you the best with your new life, and you can count on me to keep reading!
🙂 Diane
Rhoda…
Wonderful post! I share many of your interests and can truly relate. Periodically, I have to remind myself there is no “perfect” here on earth. Blogs, magazines, the entertainment industry, etc. are wonderful “escapes”, but must be kept in perspective. I know for me personally, it’s all too easy to wish my life away or place too much emphasis on material things. Thankfully, we have a patient God, who ALWAYS guides and provides!
What a beautiful post! You are an inspiration in so many ways. I always look forward to reading your post on a daily basis. I believe your sincerity always shows through. I am one of your “lurkers’, but believe me, you have made a real difference in my life.
Hi Rhoda,
This is a beautiful, inspiring post. Your writing is amazing. I’m praying for you sweet friend.
Thanks for sharing the verse…I needed that reminder today.
Love ya,
Bridget
Hi Rhoda, I too am one of those “lurkers”, but just wanted to thank you for your message today. So often we think everyone else has that perfect life. You know the old saying if we all threw our troubles in the middle of the room, we would be quick to find out we just want our own back and not everyone elses “perfect” life. Thank you for being so honest. May God continue to give you the strength you need for each day.
Hi Rhoda,
Thanks so much for being vulnerable and posting this. Today (the last couple days, actually) I’ve been in this funk and sometimes it is so easy to look at blogs and think “wow…isn’t their life grand?” and miss all the things that I ought to be grateful for. Thanks for reminding me that God is in control and He will not forsake His children.
I will pray for your divorce and that you will continue to find security in God.
Rhoda, you are such a blessing. I have followed your blog for a while now, and though I have commented a bit, I have mostly lurked. Thank you for being so open and honest and for sharing your insights with us. You are so right. We can too often compare our lives with what we see from others and we come up lacking. When really the “perfect” ones are struggling with some of the same issues we have, they just don’t share that part. I know this year has been difficult for you, but always remember you have a whole army of followers praying for you.;-) You will get through this and better days are ahead!! God is always faithful!!!
WOW! just WOW! y’all have no idea how much your comments have meant to me this morning. I was a little apprehensive about posting something so personal, but I felt impressed to do it and I’m so glad I did. You all have me wiping the tears away! Good tears. All of you are special ladies yourselves and your encouragement means the world to me. I’m SO grateful to have all of you out there, on my side, and I consider you my friends. another blessing in my life that I can be thankful for every single day. THANK YOU!!
Rhonda,
What a beautiful post, full of inspiring words. I know that the best is yet to be for you because you have let go of the past and have put your hopes and dreams in God’s hand. He will take care of you like never before. I wish you all the best. May all your dreams come true.
Rhoda, I recently heard a speaker say that God delivers packages wrapped in brown paper into our lives…..not to pretty. But inside can be a treasure of greater intimacy with Jesus. You received a HUGE brown paper package, but I sense you are discovering the Treasure inside in new ways. God bless, Toni
I am one of the lurkers who is constantly awed by your talent. Thank you for sharing your faith with us. You are inspiring in so many ways. God’s mercy does endure forever and I’m so happy that you (unlike many others) recognize that during your trials. God bless you always.
I’m once of those that lurk everyday. But I have to tell you that today I’m found a new respect for you. Phillipians 4:19 promises that He will supply all our needs, and he will. Your blog in 1 of the only 2 I read everyday…I love your blog, it’s a sunny spot in my day…thank you for being so real.
I love your blog! It’s one of the few I check just about every day. You are such an inspiration to anyone who has had life throw them a zinger or two…and really, isn’t that us all? You kept going when you had just about every reason not to. I don’t value you because of the house you may or may not own, or whether your marriage is together or it’s not. I love being able to visit the places you go right along with you, to see the treasures that others have found, to experience your life joys (like Lauren’s shower/wedding) and more. You keep on going, Girl. I am right here with you and will be. Bless you!
Rhoda,
Thank you so much for this post. I am 24 years old, living in Atlanta and graduated from college this past December. I have been working at a very part-time job, in the wholesale home decor business, for the last 5 years as I went through school. I have worked hard and put a lot of effort and tears into my job. Long story short, I was led to believe that full-time opportunities would be available and those plans have more than fell short. Almost 9 months after graduating, I am still working part-time and have yet to find the perfect full-time career for me. As much as I know that I am a hard worker, smart and reliable, the thoughts of failure constantly ring out in my head.
Thanks so much for giving me a little push to not give up! Everything happens for a reason and there is a great purpose for each of us.
Thank You!
I so needed to read this today. Thank you.
“For me to live is Christ…” Way to go Rhoda. Good post.
Rhonda,
You are an inspiration not only in the beautiful things you create but this beautiful post that you wrote. You have touched many, many people today. I love when bloggers share their lives and are “real”. Thank you for this 🙂
Wow! Thank you for your inspiration. I have been one of your “lurkers” for a while now. You are truly an unselfish lady. Thank you for your words and your thoughts! God is GOOD.
Dear Rhoda, I just had to tell you how much your honesty, openness and vulnerability means to me and so many others. You really are using this situation to minister to and bless those you come in contact with. No, life is not a magazine cover! It is messy and hard and we weren’t guaranteed anything else. But you are pointing to the ONE who will help us through that mess if we call on Him. I heard someone say recently that God isn’t the bridge “over” troubled water…He is the way we get “through” it! Thank you so much for letting us come along on this journey with you. And we pray that you will continue to feel His hope and peace even in the midst of it all! 🙂
Blessings to you,
Vanessa
What a beautiful and brave post to write. My Mom is currently going through a divorce after 30 years of marriage. It has thrown her world upside down. I’m going to share this post with her to let her know that there is hope and that she is not alone with her situation. She is a believer and knows there is a reason for this trial buther wound is so fresh right now that’s she’s having trouble seeing past the pain. Thank you so much for writing this.
Hi Rhoda, thanks for sharing your story with us. I admire your courage, positive attitude, and how you make the most out of everything that comes your way. Just know your readers are cheering you on!