Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011: my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK. I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Brooke says
Thank you for your transparency. God is good.
Gail says
Hi Rhoda,
I guess I’m one of the ones that “lurk”, haha. I love your site and infact your blog has opened my eyes to a whole new world out there! I know the ladies that blog always look like they have such perfect lives, and I feel like I fall short all the time. So thank you for sharing. Times are hard and I too had to start over from nothing…and looking back on it now, I can truly see where God carried me through. It’s amazing how he blessed me in spite of my disobedience. You sound very grounded in your faith and the pictures of your parents are precious. I too am blessed to still have my parents and thank God for them every day. God bless you Rhoda in all you do.
Gail
Mendy says
Rhoda,
Thanks for sharing what is on your heart and the surety we have from Jesus. I am dreaming of starting a blog with my daughter. I think if we “just do it”, it will be a great experience. We met at your thrifting day and mentioned that we wanted to start a blog back then. Why we haven’t – I’m just not sure. Thanks for the encouragement – now I’ve got something to “do”!
Trish says
Bless you Rhonda! Your message was exactly what I needed to hear today. I am amazed and inspired by your faith. I was just telling God this morining that I needed his presence and He sent your message to me.
andrea says
thanks for your transparency, rhoda. i have to believe that the Lord will use it to minister in a powerful and profound way to someone, even today! many, many blessings!!! 🙂
Judy says
I have greatly admired you since finding your blog, but especially this past year I have admired how strong you have been. It would have been much easier just to shut your blog down and never let anyone know what was going on with your personal life. You have had the courage to “carry on” and all of your readers have appreciated it. May God continue to bless you as he has in the past!
Wanda says
There are a lot of negative things about the internet, as we all know….but, we need to focus on the positive….I mean how amazing is it, that we can minister to and help someone we don’t know, that possibly lives around the world from us? I applaud you for letting us see the “cracks in your armor ~ for that’s how the light gets out”.
Sometimes we come to life’s crossroads,
And we view what we think is the end.
But, God has a much wider vision
And He knows that it’s only a bend ~
The road will go on and get smoother
And after we’ve stopped for a rest,
The path that lies hidden beyond us
Is often the path that is best.
So rest and relax and get stronger,
Let go and let God share your load
And have faith in a brighter tomorrow
You’ve just come to a bend in the road.
(excerpt from “When Your World Falls Apart” ~ David Jeremiah
Hang on because the pain that you’ve been feeling is just the dark before the morning….. {{{HUGS}}}
Katherine @ Grass Stains says
Rhoda,
I’ve been so happy that you’ve continued to blog through all the transition you’ve been going through. I find it every bit as entertaining and worth reading now as I did when you had your own home here in Birmingham. You continue to inspire!
I will pray that things work out for the best and that you continue to keep your remarkable faith at the forefront. Hugs!
Sallie Baker says
Though yes, I don’t often comment, I am a faithful follower of your blog for several years, and feel like you are a friend! Thank you for this post….you are a strong woman, and God will work through your faithfulness to Him. He already has. I know this will give inspiration to many others.
patti g says
Girlfriend, consider us huggin and laughin through tears; just like the girlfriends from ” Steel Magnolias” isn’t that somethin they would say?
My favorite Magnoliaism is “that which does not kill you, makes you
stronger !” 🙂
No doubt about it – God has a special mission designed and decorated up just for you. So hold on tight baby, you just don’t have any idea
of where and how that road leads.
Already it has lead to the Knorr Queen-domship – and being a founding consultant for the new company out of Biltmore Estate!
Yet, you nailed your biggeset blessings – having BOTH of your parents.
My newest thing to pass on to friends with parents is to take a picture of your hand and that of your daddy holding it – and then one of your mom holding yours. Priceless I tell you.
One last favorite security blanket I hold onto;”sometime God calms the storm, yet others He chooses to calm His child in the midst of the storm”
When was the last time I reminded you that you are loved?
Well…….that’s too long.
hugs – p
Junkjunkie says
I too am a long time “lurker”. I am unable to get on your blog daily so I feel it was no accident when I made my way to your post today.
This last year has been very hard for me and my family. The anniversary of my husband being diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer (He is 46, I am 42) is coming at the end of the month. Praise the Lord, he doing well. But, some days just are harder than others. We also sent our oldest daughter off to college this year and miss her being home so much. While visiting with my best friend the other morning about something heavy on my heart she said to me, “We will get through this….always do. We are strong women, made stronger through God.”
While reading your post this morning, I really felt led to share my story. I am so blessed by your talent, but more so by your love of God. It is very evident to me, he is using your life in a much larger way through your testimony as well as your determination to be a strong, successful woman.
Sorry for the letter! Keep up the good work…I’ll return to my lurking! 🙂
Vic
laurie says
I am a committed daily “lurker” as you like to term us! I take that as a compliment. We are all going through our gunk and yuck and it is YOU who comes through in your blog that I completely and utterly admire. It is YOU whose words carry the most power in my life and keep my head just above the water line. It is YOU who takes the steps into vulnerability to help US gain better perspective in our own lives. I am an avid blogger on a quest to really find women who do not pretend to be something they are not. I love those bloggers who post pictures of their messy house on a Monday morning, who say it like it really is, and who voice life from their perspective as a testimony and not a romance novel. I admire you and look up to you!
I lost my job over a year ago in a profession that I just adored, changed careers for, went in debt for, only to leave my classroom to realize that there are no jobs out there for me to go to. Anger, frustration, irriation, sadness, and withdrawl have been the sources of my angst. Where do I turn? What do I do? Where? While going through hard times the constant banter of questions that haunt your thoughts makes it difficult to focus on other things because your life has been changed, altered, and depleted from what you worked so hard to attain.
I don’t have answers either and I am not going to pretend like I do and give advice. At this point in my life I need the advice of honest women and honest responders to help get clarity and focus back in my life.
PS~And please, someday, write that book because there are those of us out here learn and grow from other women who do not need to be in the spotlight to get their point across.
Thank you for putting yourself out there and making a new friend today! 🙂
Holly says
Rhoda, we’ve communicated through email a few times (you recommended the Italian restaurant for me to meet friends) I am so sorry to hear what all has been part of your life lately. I know you feel the Lord’s hand upon you and know the truth, but also know sometimes you just hurt. Remember His promises and hang onto them.
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10
Many hugs and much love,
Holly
Gloria says
Thank you so much for this today. Life is definitely not a magazine (or blog) cover. Most of us put on display only the good things and hide or just choose not to share everything else in our lives. So much is pushing me in the direction of where I really want to be and your post was another push. I have a poster in my cube at work (job I hate) that is about how to live your life…”This is your Life, do what you love, and do it often, if you don’t like something change it, if you don’t like your job QUIT, etc.” I look at this every day and know I should be putting all of my energy towards my own business. I know I could do it. Its just the courage and faith that I need to take that jump. But, being a single mother, its scary. But, heck, I live pay check to pay check now, and struggle anyway…so what would the difference be.
I’m rambling. Anyway….
Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
Jerri says
Rhoda, thanks so much for sharing! I know it wasn’t easy. God bless you and I know He has even greater things in store. Thank you for giving Him praise for helping you through this time. I think the more we glorify God for His blessings the more He does for us. After all, if you give a gift to an ungrateful child, you’re much less likely to want to give him more!
I’m a lurker here too, but I so enjoy all your posts and sharing in your adventures. You’ve given me lots of inspiration, decor wise, and also, motivation to follow my dreams. I want to become a published writer ….
Elizabeth says
I have been a follower for many years, in fact you were one of the first blogs that I found. I have always loved your sense of candor, zest for life and love of God.
I am sure that you will hear alot of the “i know exactly how you feel comments” because I do, not the divorce but in 6 months, 4 rooms of our house were terribly damaged in a NprEaster, my husband lost his job and then was royally screwed out of his percentage from the sale of the company, then another storm did more damage to our house, then the company that screwed him tried to prevent my husband for working for 5 years, and we had to spend/waste $35,000 firghting with them, and then I was the first responder at a crash on Easter Sunday in the front of my church and the lady died. If that does not put your life in perspective I do not know what does. From the second he lost his job my husband said, “God, we are putting this in your hands”. And it has been our faith, family and friends that have helped us thru all of it. Somedays I was so sick and tired I could not get out of bed. And somedays I was so sick of myself and all of the stuff but everyday I prayed and found solace in my faith and church.
I think you are blessed! YOu have what looks like a loving family, you have the ability to live with your aging parents and spend time with them and help them on their journey thru life. You have been blessed because you are not with a man who did not bad things, and thankfully you are not a part of that. And you have thousands and thousands of blog angels that come to visit and read and comment and help or offer comfort. That is so fabulous! Not to mention that as you said, blogging while not making you a million has afforded you some opportunities you may never have had, like the Shaw thing and your advertisers, and your blog community.
Thank you for sharing! Life is real and somedays is feels like dog doo, but when you look at the photo of your family…it makes you realize its what life is all about and the rest is just the gilding!
I am praying for you and I hope that you continue to grow in peace and love with God.
Patti says
Another “Lurker” here Rhoda..I’m so new to your blog. And, I never comment on any I follow but felt compelled to respond today. Hang in, it’s all part of the soul process. Compassion for others grows from it (I know firsthand). Have a wonderful day…patti
Lori @ Lori May Interiors says
Hello friend,
It’s been one of those years for my family as well. We thought we were so safe and secure. When Eric lost his job, all I could think was “this was not part of our plan!”. But, what I finally came to realize is that that was God’s point. We had gotten too comfortable with our plan and forgotten that our lives our about his plan. We were very comfortable financially, but we were living separate lives. So, now even though there are still hard days and we don’t know what the future holds work wise, we are together again as a family, as we should be. And honestly, it’s been the best time I can remember.
I’m so glad that we have met through this crazy world of blogging. This post hit home to me and I know it will to many others. Thank you for sharing.
Lori
Beki - TheRustedChain says
Oh Rhoda… I haven’t checked your blog in a while and had no idea of the issues you’re dealing with.
But as you know, I’ve been with you since the beginning of our blogging days, and I think you’re wonderful! You are exactly right, that no matter what the blog (or magazine cover) looks like, there are still dust bunnies in all the corners and dirt under the rug.
Hang in there! You’re a beautiful soul!
Jessica McCash says
Thank you for your transparency!