Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011:Â my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK.  I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Fabulous post, Rhoda. 2010 brought me to my knees with grief but I have looked for happiness and am finding it again. God bless you.
As my Pastor says, Never give up, but Look up! That is what you have done and what an inspiration you are! Thanks for reminding us that hope is just a prayer away!
Hi Rhonda,
I have been a no comment follower of yours for over a year now. I guess I really needed to read your post today. I think you helped me and so many others in ways you don’t realize yet. I am truly sorry for all that life has thrown your way but knowing that God is on our side how can we ever feel alone.
I am in my almost mid 50’s and in the beginning stages of forming my own blog. I have had many reservations and difficulties just getting some things operating like I want but after reading your post today I might just take your recommendation and “just do it “.
Thanks for being so inspirational and honest to all of us in blogland.
You are such an inspiration! God has and will do wonderful things for you. I am so sorry for what you have been through with your ex- husband. Do you think you ex-husband was a Sociopath?. These people wreak havoc on womens lives. I wish you the very best in life and I believe your future will be a good one! God is sooo good.
De-lurking… God Bless You!
I am making homemade lotions and potions and I hope other people will like them. I know my family does so if the outside world doesn’t, it’s ok.
Hi Rhoda..always read your blog but never comment, so I guess im a lurker,lol..loved this post, it gives me hope..all the best to you and thank you:).
Rhoda, perfect timing! I read your blog often; we truly never know the paths of others and sometimes I can really feel sorry for myself! Thanks for reminding me to be thankful for how fortunate I am and how good God is; I just know great things are in store for you 🙂
Guilty as charged….I admit that I am a lurker, but occasionally comment! Glad that you are remaining positive! It is truly a blessing that you have your loving family to comfort and support you! Wishing you all the best!
Rhoda – I’m not a blogger but am also one of your faithful readers who rarely posts a comment, but I wanted to tell you that you and your blog are such an inspiration to me. I am amazed at your strength, faith, honesty, and talent. My prayers are with you and your family.
I, too, have made a transition. I had a catering and cake decorating business. I was partners with my best friend for the past 25 years. I won’t go into all the details, but, let’s just say, we weren’t on the same page. I should have read Business 101 better were it says that partnerships with friends never, never, NEVER work out for the good. We are still friends, but, my dreams for our business are all put to bed now. So, what to do?
I would love to write a cookbook. Not too sure how to do that, and just look at all the cookbooks out there. What would make mine stand out? Also, I love the Streams in the Desert devotional book too! I truly believe that you are right where you are supposed to be at this time. It is a happy ending, your life! I know, because God writes happy endings for us all! God Bless!
I read your blog this morning and it has haunted me all day. You never know what is really happening in a person’s life unless you walk in their shoes. Yours is heart breaking and inspirational to all women. The part of your blog that is haunting me is your dream of having a thriving design business. Take me to task because I am not privy to all the facts but I say…..GO FOR IT….revise your business plan….make calls etc. Do something everyday to make your dream a reality. Own it, claim it, work it and it will be yours.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. God is truly in control in your situation and I’m thankful that you are giving Him the glory. I liked what you said about people’s lives not being what they appear on blogland. It is so easy to assume that people live these perfect lives and have everything perfect in their homes. I needed to hear you say that that is not always the case, because I was having a hard time understanding how moms with many small children can homeschool, can, cook, sew, be active in their church, etc, and still have everything look perfect. I was wondering what was wrong with me since I only have one child and don’t do half as much as they do!
Hi there….what an AWESOME post. It’s like you were speaking right thru me. I, too, am not where I thought I would be at 53. But I’m doing just fine and God definitely has plans for me. I can empathize with you about divorce but after 5 years, I’m feel blessed where I am in life. Through all of this I re-discovered God, found a church home, joined a bible study, etc. I lost my parents 15 years ago and never had children, so I really consider you lucky . However, I certainly don’t feel unlucky….I have lots of Choosen Family.
Like most of the readers I too probably looked at your blog and said…ah, what a perfect life; she’s beautiful, sweet and talented and little did I know I was assuming way too much. You phrased your post so well…..I think we all put on rose-colored glasses when we look at blogs. 🙂
I’ve been in the corporate world all my professional life and a change really sounds good, but SO scary since I just have me to depend on. I’m going to look deeper into your beautiful blog and try and get some ideas about what my possibilites might be to work in a CREATIVE world. Thank you so much for sharing your heart…..I really got a lot out of what you said.
Happy Fall Ya’ll from Houston, TX!!!!!
Like yourself, I went through a late in life divorce that left me in the pits but as time went on I learned it was absolutely the BEST thing that has ever happened to me. I pulled myself up and learned to stand on my own two feet and for nearly six years I was proud of what I was able to accomplish. I had NO desire to ever marry again until a miracle came into my life. I was introduced to a loving, caring, honest, and funny man by his daughter (our children were friend through high school and college music programs). We dated for a little over a year before we were married and have now been married for nearly two years. God knows my heart and provided me with what He knew I needed.
So sorry you have to walk through this. I’ve been following your blog for a long time, but only felt compelled to comment for the first time today. Thank you for being transparent and publicly relying on the only Person who can truly help us in our trials. God bless you.
Rhoda,
Your most personal posts are the one that really touch my heart. You speak so honestly, and really you are an inspiration to me and others.
I have always believed that life can change on a dime, and yours certainly has. You have come a long way this year.
Seems like I was just reading your post about you going to Israel and feeling sad like I was loosing a friend. Now I can’t wait to see what your doing next! Things happen for a reason.
You have turned all your negatives into positives and it’s nice that you can enjoy the ride (most days). Thanks for bring us along, to watch you blossom and become stronger.
Your strength will be my inspiration!
I have been a “stalker” but it’s time to comment. Thank you so much for your transparency. I retired from a job I loved and my husband and I moved to a beautiful place to be near grandchildren. Life was a bowl of cherries, until breast cancer struck. I am in the midst of chemo which is not fun, but you know what??? God is still here and he is still good!
Rhoda, read your blog daily, but never comment. Will today because I want to say how much of an inspiration you have been to me and so many others. Love your blog! All the best, Gina (in Texas)
Rhoda, I have not been reading very much lately. I’ve tried to keep up with a few posts, but along with haaving some health issues myself…I have a new grandson…5 months old. A lessing, for sure!
I am so, so sorry that you have had to endure these trials. It seems sometimes that those who try to do right and live right are the ones who hit these rough spots. It’s not fair…but no one ever said it would be.
I know this to be true…the times I have been at my lowest, are the times I could hear God the loudest. The times I have wondered if I can make it another day, are the times God chooses to show Himself to me. The times I wonder if He even remembers I exist, are the times He blesses me…big time.
I will add you to my prayer list, and remember you to our Father. God keeps His promises. If that is true for one promise…it must be true for all of His promises. He will see you through. He will bless you if you continue to walk in His ways. And, the lessons you learn will be used to help others.
Many times I have been to hospitals and talked to mothers with children who have cancer or birth defects or whatever…and I can tell them these truths.
May I suggest a book that has been of greatest inspiration to me. You probably will have to order it from Lifeway. FAITH IS NOT A FEELING by Ney Bailey. It is a small, inexpensive book…but so full of what I need to hear.
God bless you…. Tonja
Hi Rhoda, You are an inspiration to us all. So sorry about your crisis… I wish I could reach through the computer screen and give you a hug! I know that you are a strong woman but strong women need hugs too! AND YES!!! WE CAN DO ANYTHING! Keep your inspirational stories coming… and Good Luck with everything! Nancy