Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011:Â my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK.  I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Thank you Rhoda for that up lifting post. I need to hear things like that, my dad is 88 and in very poor health. I do know like you , it is all God’s plan for me. Thanks again.
Rhoda,
I am so glad you have shared your thoughts and feelings with the blog world. I am sorry for all that you have had to deal with but I feel you are going to be just fine. God always has a plan for our lives even though we think we are not going to know which direction to go, the Lord will guide you and protect you, always. You already trust in the Lord so all will come together for you in the right place and time. I wish I could move back home with my parents, what a blessing for you to still have them in your life.
I love your blog and love your style. I live in Florida and love the South even though I grew up in Nebraska, I am a southerner!
Bless you and your wonderful words of encouragment.
You are so positive in the face of such hardship. You are a true picture of faith. So inspiring.
I have walked in your shoes and just had to post for the first time even though I have enjoyed your blog for viewing for some time. I had an ex-spouse who went to jail for bank fraud and forgery and I nearly lost everything. As a professional I thought I was smarter than that, but thankfully I have recovered both emotionally and financially thru God’s love. I just celebrated four years of marriage to my soul mate and best friend who went thru something similiar. Through God’s Grace we trust again and are enjoying life and looking forward to retirement together. Life is good. Thank you for all you do and for your talent and creativity and sharing with others. God Bless.
Rhoda,
I read your post yesterday, did not comment, but thought about everything you said all day. You are an inspiration to me! I went through 2 divorces (because neither man understood the word vow.)
I swore I’d never marry again because I had been burned so badly, but along came my wonderful husband I have now. All of my experiences made me a better woman. I’m telling you this because there is someone out there who will love and appreciate you. Don’t give up on love!
May God bless you on your journey and keep on telling the truth. So many women need to hear your message.
Rhoda,
I wish I could give you a big hug today. I woke up feeling “blah”. Feeling a little sorry for myself and wondering “where am I going with this life that God has given me”. Reading your words I know I’m not alone.
I’m also in my mid 50’s but unlike you I feel stuck in my day to day routine. I’ve had my career, now I’m a stay at home wife. What God has planned for me next I’m not sure of. I am sure that there is an adventure waiting for me.
Thank you, for sharing yourself with us.
You are treasure! Love this post and your transparency. I have followed your blog for a few years now. Our God is an AWESOME God!
I’m just catching up today,,,wanted to share like so many others,,,that you have been truly an inspiration,,and I’m glad you use your blog for ministry,,,it has helped me today. Thank you friend for sharing your heart, and may God bring more joy and peace than ever , and total restoration of your heart. I get giddy with you when I read the blessings He has sent your way, to cool trips, to being a contest winner way to go God and way to go Rhoda!!!
Rhoda – what a blessing you are to us. Opening yourself up as you’ve done has ministered to many, many of us. You’ll never know how you’ve changed many of us. Thank you so very much.
Rhoda, everyone has already expressed my feelings…I can only wish you much happiness and success in your life endeavors.
I enjoy reading your blog! Your post was such an inspiration. A wonderful reminder of God’s faithfulness. Thanks!
Rhonda, I have been reading your blogs for over a year. They are so uplifting, thoughtfully written and an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story, remaining positive and praising God each step of the way. Your are truly an inspiration!
Wow, what a powerful message and just what I needed today. Thank you for sharing your story and opening your heart to us. May God bring continued opportunities and blessings. Our God is an AWESOME God!
Lori
Oh Rhoda, you have no idea how this post touched me when I read it. For one thing, I have been right where you are. There is SO much we could talk about.
I had to laugh when I realized I am considered a “lurker” in the blog world. I have been lurking around for several months because I felt drawn to begin a blog but was afraid and after seeing what is out there I felt so intimidated. But, as of Monday, I began. I even wrote, “I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m doing it.”
Today I wrote of the Potter and the clay. I know He never forsakes the works of His hands, for I am one of those works.
I only have two posts and a LOT more work to do, but please visit me at http://www.my-dwelling-place.blogspot.com
Thank you for sharing yourself and thank you for such a real blog. You are very inspirational to me. I’m in the midst of a life struggle right now and I, too, know that He will provide for me even though I don’t yet know how. I will keep visiting you as long as we are all still welcome. Thanks again Rhoda!
Rhoda,
I have admired you and your blog for several months now. I made no assumptions about your life really, but I did notice you always look so happy in your pictures. I should know that we can all put on a happy face for the cameras. I am just so sorry that you are going through this rough time. But, I LOVE the Ps. 138:8 scripture reference at the end of your post. It’s one of my favorites. Something that struck me today was that you mentioned using your blog for ministry. I really want to be able to do that with my blog. I’m a brand new blogger (as of April ’11), and so far I have done only crafts and thrifting posts. There is so much in my heart to write about, but I cannot find a way to incorporate it – yet. I’m sorry that it’s taken a terrible bump in the road for you to have the platform to share your faith here, but I’m glad I got to see this side of you. What an encouragement!
Wow! I am so glad you are sharing your story. I know it inspires me as well as many, many other women.
Not only does your post today, and your story, inspire me, but as an everyday reader of your blog, I see how you keep moving forward and are so positive, and how you keep receiving blessings (like the Asheville experience, like the cooking contest, and I could go on…)
Have you considered being a speaker at women’s retreats? I know you would be a blessing to the women in my church. If you are interested, please let me know!
Hi Rhoda! I found your blog about a year ago and have faithfully read, just as a lurker and never commented. This post has brought tears to my eyes though. I am a happily married 34 year old mother of a 2 year old and 1 year old. I am in a different place in life than you are, but still find you and your words here so inspiring. My “problem” is that I long to work from home and spend more time with my kids. I have many creative talents and would love to try to use them to work from home, but I have been scared to. Last winter I succumbed to postpartum depression and was very upset about being a working mother and namely, not being a successful home blogger! This post makes me want to get serious and ask God to lead me to what I really want to do….which I can’t believe is intended to be sitting here in this office with tears in my eyes. Like many readers I was shocked at the turn of your life this year…but have been so overjoyed to watch things turn around and blossom for you. I don’t often say this, but you truly deserve it. I thought of you when I saw the Knorr commercial last night 😉 Thanks for sharing and giving me some hope that I can have the creative freedom in life that I so much want and need!
Thank you for sharing your self. I’m a lurk and never leave a comment, But i love your blog. This was a beautiful post today…thanks hugs Pat H
Hi Rhoda: I too am a lurker, but only because it has taken me awhile to learn how to sign in. (is that pathetic or what!) Anyhow, thank you for this post, it has really touched something in me. I have been wanting to start a blog for a good long time and just haven’t had the guts. Thanks for sharing your story, and your life with us, you really don’t know just what you have done for women out there. I’ll be praying for you.