Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011:Â my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK.  I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Beautiful! Beauty for ashes! Thank you so much for sharing this post.
Rhoda, I stumbled onto your site a few months ago when I was looking for paint colors to paint a bedroom. I have since revisted your blog a couple more times for decorating ideas. From what started out to be an anonymous type of web surf is now turning into something on a more personal level, at least for me. I like you. I like your style. I share your same beliefs and values. I am sure I am going to check back on a more regular basis now. I guess you can say, “I am hooked.” Thanks for sharing your story. You are an inspiration, in more ways than just decorating.
–Brenda
Rhoda, I live in huge fear of what am I do to, wishing I could find my passionate plan or way for my life. I stumbled upon your blog tonight researching for tips on how to use Anne Sloan paint. I believe God led me to your blog and, to read this article to gain more hope, as you mentioned and, to remember God does take care of His children. I have been praying without ceasing for God to lead and direct my life. I fight mightily the feelings of being a failure, naming a few, for for my broken marriages and the left-turns in my life’s journey. I went through a battle of breast cancer, lost my home and car. I learned to use the bus system worrying about safety at the unsafe areas of the city. I lived in my car until it broke down. I walked to the nearest room in an unsavory part of town and ended up living there five months paying by the week for a place to bathe, eat and sleep. I actually cried when I left even though I was glad to leave there. At first, I was either crying non-stop or angry for all the left-turns happening in my life. Once I decided to praise God and to find things to be grateful for, miraculously my attitude improved, the bus transportation got easier and it seemed when I did ride in a taxi, I was blessed by the unexpected. I pray many things, one being a way to earn money and do something positive and constructive with my life; for all of my life belongings in storage not to be auctioned, for restoration within my family (sons) and, for God to use me in any capacity He sees possible. So, like Moses, I would say God, I don’t think, I can speak or do, but after being broken repeatedly and/or possibly making the same mistakes repetitiously, I speak seriously. God use me. Show me. Guide me. I choose to obey. Rhoda, thank you for your vulnerability in sharing what has gone on in your life. I might be a few years older than you; so, starting over and over can be a negative or positive depending on if one gives up or if she can keep pushing through. Don’t get me wrong, the thought briefly crosses my mind to give up. However, I haven’t and I am looking forward to see what God is going to do for me. I am going to love following your life and, to learn from you…whether it be cooking, decorating or what God is doing in your life. God bless!
I just read Patti’s moving story; I’ve only today discovered this incredible site. I sit here praying that Patti is doing well and her faith has grown ever stronger. God does love his children and will never fosake us. His peace be with you, Patti.
Rhoda, I found your blog tonight and am moved by your story. I wish you the best…your strength shines through in your blog.
This was so beautiful, Rhoda. You are such a strong woman that truly deserves the best our Lord can offer.
I don’t believe I’ve commented before, although I’ve been following you for a couple of years now. I’d just like to thank YOU for all the wonderful posts and believe the best is yet to come for you.
You are such an inspiration to all of us!
Thank you, Rhoda, for responding to my email and for guiding me here. It’s true, isn’t it? This is your ministry. I’ve never thought about it that way, but I can see that now.
Again, thank you for sharing. It’s just what I needed to hear today.
God sent me to you today, of that I am certain. Reading my friend’s blog – Robin’s Nesting Place – led me to yours, where I’ve been perusing and reading and soaking in the beauty. I’m going through my own life crisis (who isn’t, really?) and wondering what to do with my photography and writing, which is fizzling and fading at the moment. Your post has been inspirational. I shall revisit, and often. Thanks for the pep talk. Your blog is lovely.
Rhoda,
Thanks so much for your encouraging words. You are a testimony of God’s faithfulness. I admire your spirit and only wish you the best in the days to come.
Ruth
Rhoda, I was touched by your post today, thanks for your encouragement. Wow, reading many of the other comments it is apparent that many of us are living the reality instead of the dream. Ditto here! What I do know is that God wastes nothing (Rom 8:28 comes to mind) and He has already used your life (all parts of it) to minister to others. It is evident you have given Glory where Glory is due. BTW – We share many similarities including being PK’s and born and raised Southern Belles. I, too, am a Streams reader (love Apr. 2 and June 4). God’s richest blessings on you!
I understand! I too am going thru a period of trial and suffering and through it all it is amazing to see the hand of God. He has promised He will never leave us or forsake us and that He will fulfill his promises to us in His perfect timing. I can look back and see over and over again how He has worked things for my good and I know I will be able to do the same with this. God bless you as you continue on your journey.
Rhoda, your blog is the top one of my favorites list! I have been lurking on you for a while and I just love all your posts and am inspired by your beautiful site. Life is not always perfect and it is good for people to share that because we can fall into the trap that everyone elses life is always rosy. I commend you for your new start and am excited for you and all your upcoming adventures. I too started a new career at age 41, I went to “beauty school”! I am beginning my own business at home and loving it! I realized at this age that once you step out of your comfort zone and learn something new that it is addictive! I love to thrift and create and who knows what more wonderful things are on the horizon,maybe my own blog!! Good luck to you and pleeeaaase keep inspiring us, we love you southern lady!!!
Thank you for this post. I am one of your biggest fans, but rarely post. But wanted to comment this time. I LOVE the fact that you shared your feelings with us. I feel closer to you because of it. I needed inspiration and you provided it. I think it’s why I love your blog so much, you show and share with us who you are. I like the fact you shared that life isn’t perfect, because it isn’t. Sometimes I get “bored” with reading blogs, everything is so “perfect” sometimes. With my own blog I hope to capture that the best blog isn’t one that comes up with the constant “great” ideas, but one who realize we are blog family and want to share all that life toss us!
Wow. That spoke to the very core of me today. I don’t visit often because of time, but every time I do I’m glad I did. I am refreshed by your faith and it’s a reminder to refresh my own. Thank you for such a nice post. I continue to wish the best for you.
I am also one of those lurkers, and I don’t believe I have commented before. BUT, I want to tell you that I read your blog almost every day and I ALWAYS learn something from you. I honestly felt your pain last spring and prayed for you. Isn’t it amazing that blogging can do that? I feel like if we met we would already be old friends! I loved this post…thank you…and I will continue to keep up with you and wish you the best!
so sorry to hear of the pain you are experiencing. Your testimony is an inspiration. it is awesome that you are on the road of rejoicing in the Lord …. and i do believe He will give you the desires of your heart….in His time
And this is why we adore you, Rhoda! Thank you for your honest transparency. That you would take time in the midst of your own pain to encourage others and offer praise and thanksgiving to God is beautiful. Yes, very, very beautiful! I look forward to seeing all the wonderful that He has in your future. Hugs to you!
Rhoda,
you are an amazing woman! your faith shines! what an encouragement this post is…thank you for sharing.
I will freely admit that I’m one of the lurkers around here. 😉 Thank you for being bravely honest and for sharing your faith-filled words of encouragement…I needed to hear that this morning!
Blessings,
Anna K.
God bless you! I’ve always believed that life, in some ways, is a test. You’ve certainly been tested, yet still have your faith which is a blessing beyond words.
When my l7 year old grandson was killed in a moto-cross practice, September 16, 2008, I wondered if and how my daughter, my granddaughter and the rest of our family would survive. We survive day by day but only by the grace of God. My sincere hope for you is that you continue to enjoy life with Him by your side.
Hugs!
Rhoda, I was in Atlanta last week and went to several of the thrift stores that you highlighted on your blog. I have followed your blog for a while and you are truly an encouragement. Even though I don’t know you personally, I’ve prayed for you several times, knowing that you were going through a trial. So glad to read your positive outlook and praise for our great God!!
Rhoda, thank you for sharing. As I sat here reading I shed both tears of sadness for your losses & tears of joy for the goodness you are choosing to seek out, find & share. Your words touch so many lives with hope & encouragement. Thank you again. I hope that someday I have the opportunity to meet you when I passing thru the Atlanta area.