Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011:Â my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK.  I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Hello Gorgeous! I am so moved by this post. I know that the thousands upon thousands who read you are moved by this as well. Do you realize that God may have put you through the horror of the past year just so you could write this post for so many folks to be inspired by? Seriously….you are touching many, many hearts and being a positive witness in an incredibly powerful way!!! I know that God is smiling down on you! I know that He has AMAZING things in store for you, too, even more than the wonders and blessings of the past few months! I am still completely broken-hearted for you that you have had to suffer, but I’m SO PROUD to call you my friend as you are a true inspiration. As I’ve said before, you’re way too young and gorgeous to be my mother, but you are my bloggy mother and I know you are to many. Your talent/creativity/heart/honesty/faith as you’ve shared on this blog have inspired us and encouraged us.
Thank you.
Thank you.
THANK YOU!
Love/hugs/blessings,
Lana
Hi Rhoda,
I meant to comment on this post a few days ago but been so busy!! I think you are doing amazing!! And look at all the encouragement you are bringing people who might have gone through a hard walk themselves!! My walk with God is on such a deeper level and to be honest I’m not sure I could have had one without going through the rough stuff!! You take care..
God has a way of bringing us exactly what we need!
My dream is to build my business enough so that I can offer my services for free to low-income families who wouldn’t normally be able to afford them.
Thanks for your words. They really give some courage and, maybe, I can reinvented myself too and run my own business. I wish you the best. xoxo
Rhoda- thank you for your very “real” and “raw” post. It is so easy to look at all the beautiful blogs out there and think everyone has life figured out, when the truth is we all have our own struggles. Your honesty about your struggles have touched others (and me) in a way that no beautiful photo or clever decorating idea or delicious recipie can. I, too believe that God is good- even when times are bad. Thank you for your touching post! And thank you for encouraging me as a new blogger this year- I am loving it! God has big plans for you I am sure…so “be of good courage”!
Kristy @ Starfish Cottage
Rhoda,
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. Your blog has been one of my favorites for a very long time and you always are such an inspiration to me. God will work everything that has happend this past year together for good. I agree your blog is a ministry, and I am thankful for it and for you. Hugs to you. <3 Suzy
My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you and I have had some similar (not good!) life experiences. I married someone who was not at all what he pretended to be, and he left my life in shambles.
Less than a year after what I call my life “implosion,” an acquaintance from work asked me out. We’re about to celebrate our 7th anniversary and are parents to two children.
It’s cliche, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you courage and hope on your journey.
–Suzanne
Thank you for this post. So needed to hear that things will work out for so many of us that are struggling with life’s ups and downs. I read this just when I most needed it. You deserve the blessings that have come your way. Thanks again, Pam
I am really new to following your blog (maybe a week?, times does fly). I read about the life change you are experiencing and wish and pray for the best of luck for you. You are blessed with a positive attitude and sound like you have a great relationship with the Lord.
I have just recently started a prayer journal just to remind myself want I want to pray for and to see where God leads me with the answers. Besides family and friends, I have Amanda Knox, the young woman in jail in Italy. I will also add you to my prayer journal.
Keep up the great work. I love your blog!
Meg
Rhoda, thanks for being so open, honest and candid. Exactly what I needed to hear TODAY. I’m going to dig out my Streams in the Desert devotional right now…Thank You!
Stay strong and be happy!! 🙂
Rhoda,
I was trying to play catch up with some of your back posts when I saw this. I want you to know how proud I am of you for picking up and moving on with your life, but more than that, I’m proud of you for sharing this with all of us. You never know whose life you’ve touched and how you’ve touched it. I think that a lot of people believe a huge setback means their life is over, and you have just proved otherwise.
I wish so much that none of this had happened to you. You are one of the sweetest bloggers out there, and you were so very, very helpful to me when I started blogging. I will never forget your kindness, ever. I am behind you, my friend, and I love you bunches.
I would probably not have a blog had you and a few other friends (who I met through you) not given me the courage to venture out. See, you touched my life in ways you never knew, but you did. I thank you for that and for being my friend.
Life has taken me down a winding road of late wlth losing several close friends so my blogging has had to take a backseat. I’ve also watched a friend of mine go through a personal ordeal that has just upset me terribly as well as several people I love. In all of that, I try to carve out the time to remember that THIS is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in IT.” He only gives us today, and even more important, he has given us time with those we love to celebrate life together. So I am celebrating life with you today. I am celebrating life in Him. God is good.
Love you…
XO,
Sheila
Rhoda- I have come back and read this post several times. You are such an inspiration. You have handled all of your doings with such elegance and class. And my- aren’t you a case study in how God will continue to Bless you if you are faithful! I’m so happy for all the truly wonderful things that have come and continue to come your way. Well deserved. All the best- I look forward to reading all about them.
Praise to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! He will NEVER, NEVER leave us or forsake us. What a glorious hope! Thanks, Rhoda, for your servant’s heart.
I had surgery 2 months ago and had a number of complications. Initially the recovery was to be 4-6 weeks, it turned into 4 weeks of bedrest. I’m bored and depressed, missing the life of the 43 year old mom/wife. I stopped reading my favorite blogs, yours being one I have bookmarked. My husband bought me a smart phone so I could reconnect with life so to speak. I’ve spent the last 2 hours catching up on your beautiful blog. Thank you for sharing your tips, ideas, recipes and now…wisdom. I cried when I read this, feeling sorry for myself and now being lifted up by your honesty and words. I’m not religious, certainly a believer of something larger than myself. I’m grateful for the images you show me, the inspiration to make my home (tiny 2 bedroom condo that I love) more beautiful and now I’m grateful you shared your heart. I feel inspired again for the first time in 2 months. Bless your heart Rhoda, your a good egg.
Shoot, I meant 4 MONTHS of bedrest. Learning to type on this touch screen is a not easy on these middle-aged eyes:-(
God Bless you and your sweet parents.Thank you for being my “friend”. I have never met you but I read you every day.
So very well written and from the heart, Rhoda. I am so glad I got to meet you in person and know you thru the decorating boards & your blog…….you are such an inspiration to us all! We were one of those families almost forced to sell our dream home & move because of job loss but God answered our prayers also. Never give up like you said.
I know in my heart you will be fine……..such a survivor you are and God is with you every step of the way. Love ya! Bonnie
Dear Rhoda
I haven’t been to visit in a long time and I am so sorry to hear about what a rough time you have had! But what sweet encouraging words you wrote today. It is so easy to read a blog and think that they have their life together, when we all know that no one really does! Our pastor once said that we look at other’s lives on the “highlights of the game” tape and view ours on the “bloppers” tape. I read Streams in The Desert too. It is the BEST devotional for being just what you need on that particular day. I have read it for years. “Let throw off everything that hinders….. and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us .” Hebrews 12:2
Hugs, Rhondi
you are such a sweet, beautiful person – i know you will find someone in your life who deserves YOU. Maybe at church, or at a restaurant, or a friend of friend. I just know you will meet someone. and even if you don’t, I know you will find your own home again when you are ready to.
i understand exactly what you are saying here. no one is immune, no one is safe.
stay strong and live will turn around for you soon. i just know it.
joni