Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011:Â my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK.  I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Rhoda…..
You are an elegant and beautiful child of the King. A true Poverb 31 woman.
Bless you for sharing such a painful time in your life. I couldn’t help but to send you a note of encouragement. I went through a similar
life altering time… only my x husband didn’t go to jail. Will leave my
story there. But can truly understand what you are going through. You are stronger than you know… just trust in the lord and he will lead you on the right path. Bless you and am praying for you.
Love & blessings on your path.
Kathryn
Rhoda, you continue to inspire beauty, not just in home design, but in our spiritual lives as well. The plainest truth of life is this… God is good. Life’s circumstances are not always good, our health may not always be good, our attitude is not always good, but God is ALWAYS good.
Thank you for being an encouragement to me today. Be blessed!
Well said and thank you for sharing. Thanks for sharing your story and words of wisdom and faith. It was very nice to read and I do hope you (I’m sure you will) come out stronger.
Rhoda: Thank you for being so honest in this post. I know that you wrote it awhile ago, but I just found it and it spoke to me more than you can know. You speak of making a dream into a reality. My dream is this: I want to sell my handmade crafts. I have wanted that for a long, long time, but have been too scared to really focus on it. –What if they are not good enough? Shouldn’t I get a “real” job and contribute more to my family’s finances? When am I going to grow up and realize that crafting is just a hobby?– Oh the questions and doubts that circle round and round in my head are so annoying! : ) Your post has helped to boost my confidence and I’m going to follow the path I have always wanted to explore. Thank you and best wishes to you! Tricia
Hi Rhoda,
Do you ever wonder how you got somewhere online? I’m not sure how I first saw your blog – but it was a link to your story about the Alabama chair. That was over a year ago. I remember I looked around and really was impressed by you and your blog. I liked the tone. I liked that you showed pictures of your mom and sis. I liked that you were keeping it going in the grooming department. I picked up that you were a woman of faith. We’ve been the happy recipients of southern hospitality over the years, and love it.
Now somehow, I found you again and read this post. I just want to say I’m sorry. Life can be so sad sometimes. But again, you are impressing me with your faith and class. I just signed up to follow your blog. Best wishes and many blessings to you!
I cleaned the cookies on my computer, so I had a hard time finding you today. Been awhile since I visited. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. You’re a Awesome Woman and pray nothing but God’s Best. He said it rains on the Just as well as the unjust, so even we children of God experience troubled times, but we have a God that we can look to to bring us out. Peace and Blessings and Thanks for sharing your homes … it’s STILL a blessing. Thanks for Continuing to share your Story … you’re STILL a blessing. Much love to Mom and Dad. I know how they feel. I would do the same and I know my Mom would do the same for me. I pray you get your own home again soon and share Awesome pics that inspire us all to make our homes Home Sweet Home. Thanks for sharing!
Rhoda,
I meant to leave a comment when I first read this. I have been following your blog for some time — love your style and attitude. I too married someone I shouldn’t have. I tried for a very long time to make it work, but ultimately it was not to be. He would currently be in prison but he committed suicide after a high speed police chase. At the time he was a fugitive and was considered armed and dangerous. We had been divorced for some time and I have been married to a wonderful man for the past 25 years. My husband and I were in high school together but did not know each other. We found each other at our 20th reunion. Life is good!
Oh Rhoda, I read your blog as often as I can but never came across this post. Thank you for sharing your sweet heart. I did know that you were getting a divorce but never saw this. I love how you shared about God being there for you and how He will surely be there to help you when we ask Him. I got teared up when you spoke about your sweet parents. My mother passed away when I was 20 (I’m 50 now). You are lucky to have her in your life 😉 I’m keeping you in my prayers as you’re still getting yourself through all of this. Hugs to you!
I am wandering around your blog from path to path and reading things that are so applicable to my life right now it is not funny. God does lead us to these places at times I am sure of that.
Reading these posts, although they are old ones gives me hope and knowledge that my difficulties will end and and even if it is a long time, I know God has some reason for all of my troubles. One amazing thing that I can be thankful for is that my mothers cancer has brought us to a relationship we never had. My mother and I never got on, she was a very demanding and difficult woman to please. The cancer has changed her attitude towards me, towards life and she has mellowed so much that our relationship is so wonderful now. She is hanging in for me and fighting like a trooper because she is worried about my future. She is a courageous and amazing woman and I would have never seen this if it was not for her cancer. So out of bad does come good.
Sadly her companion of 15 years now has cancer and does not have long to live, its a really tough road for me. I have no family apart from my two sons in New Zealand and my mother and my husband chose not to return two years ago when my mother was diagnosed, he remained in his expat life abroad where he felt comfortable…so I have been doing this all alone and what the doctors said would be 3-6 months, has turned into 20 months already.
I did leave a comment on your recent post and I have mentioned I have now got Poppy, my little schnoodle. She is truly a gift from God and things are already looking up. I know there is a bright future again somewhere.
Your writings have given me a strength and hope today.
Thank you
Lee
You are so beautiful, inside and out! I believe your best days are ahead of you.
Be abundantly blessed, beautiful, precious Lady!
Dearest Rhoda, I have been so busy these past few months of the new school year that I haven’t been in Blog Land very much at all and had no idea of where your heart was (as well as your body). I wish I was close enough to clutch you to my ample bosom (clutching — it’s one of my spiritual gifts!).
Thank you for your transparency. This is one of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read, and I know Papa-God smiles when He watches those of us who, reading it, nod and whisper “Amen.”
Thank you, sweet sister, for allowing Him to use you during this raw time to honor Him and to glorify His name.
Soft smiles and clutches, too,
Pamm
Hi-lovin’ your sweet & humble spirit. I, too, have experienced a broken relationship; but am now married to my “soulmate” for 20 years. I would just encourage you to keep on trusting God with ALL things. He has a path for you & just be willing to say, “I give my life to you & I trust you.” (Hab. 3: 17-19) By the way, I share your enthusiasm for decorating & love your style! We are preparing to open a retail store in our area selling our cabinets (look @ our website) & interior decor which has been our dream. God bless you!
Dear Rhoda,
You are a beautiful example of what the Lord can do when we use our gifts & talents for His purpose. You are an inspiration to so many & I know God will lovingly get you through this.
Thank you so much,
Tammy
Romans 8:28.
Rhoda,
Are you familiar with Proverbs 31 Ministry for women? I am certain you must be. They have an annual conference and I think it is in Atlanta. I only mention it because you know the saying ‘out of misery, comes a ministry’ or something like that! Though your passion is decorating and blogging about it, I think you would really fit in as a speaker or writer for Proverbs 31. They have a beautiful website, check them out if you haven’t already. I can see you speaking and writing about your story and you could most definitely incorporate your love of decorating and thrifting; all of the speakers/writers with Proverbs 31 have their ‘niche’. I am in no way affiliated with Proverbs 31. I’m just a huge fan and when I read your story, I immediately thought them. Thanks for being an inspiration to so many and may God bless you abundantly. I just finished re-reading The Prayer of Jabez; I think you would enjoy it if you haven’t already read it!
Hi, Cheryl, I am familiar with Proverb 31 ministries. I will definitely check out the website. I don’t visit all the time, but I know about them for sure. I do pray that the Lord uses this for His glory in every way.
Good Morning Rhoda,
After being together last night I had to sign up for your blog. Thank you for your honesty in life & in writing. Thank you for graciously sharing you with your readers. I look forward to growing in my own blogging & to sharing more times in the design world with you & Renae. Enjoy your day!
Kathryn
Ladies, I am completely humbled by the outpouring of comments and support that continue to come in on this post written from my heart. I’m so grateful for all of you out there and I know that God is using this heartache of mine for His glory. That is my heart’s desire!
Hi Rhoda, I visit every once in a while to check out any new DIY projects you might have done. I also like to ‘advertise’ your beadboard wallpaper, an have recommended it on a decorating forum a few times, again tonight~~I hope it’s ok if I post the link to your beadboard project.
I’m happy to hear all is going well for you, but you ARE a fighter with a deep and unshakable strength, as well as a strong belief that it’s not *we* who choose our path, but it’s chosen for us. Only God knows where we need to be at any given moment, and His plan is something greater for you. At times we need to lose something in order to gain something that is better for us, or ‘the path’~~I also know this to be true as I suffered a major loss when I was a young Mother of 3 children. My ‘path’ took me to places unknown, and my world and the world of my children changed forever, in a very positive way. I knew at that moment God was making his presence known to me, and giving back because he had taken, and He never leaves us empty handed feeling hopeless, although at times there are lessons to be learned. Like you, everything I have is just a wonderful ‘gift’, mine to enjoy for the moment, and am so blessed to have many wonderful ‘gifts’.
Rhoda, you are truly a child of God, and an inspiration to all who ‘know’ you from your blog or in real life. Keep up God’s work and have a wonderful and blessed Christmas.
ps….if you ever get to Texas(Austin)I would love to meet you. ;o)
Rhoda — I have come back to this post several times in the past months, it’s always the perfect dose of gratitude I need to hear, and uplifts me in down moments. Thank you for writing it, and sharing your soul with us!!!
Thank you for being so candid. I’m so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. I’m inspired by your “pull up your bootstraps” attitude. 🙂 You are a beautiful woman with a lovely spirit and I’m sure that love will find you and you will get your happily ever after in your own gorgeous home! God’s blessings to you!
Rhoda…I didn’t know. Wow. We just don’t know how anything will turn out, do we? I am certain that your folks are tickled to death to have their dear girl home with them again. That is probably a blessing in many ways for all of you.
There have been unforeseen upheavals in my life too, but it just reminds you that you have to roll with it and adjust to the change. I am not one who says “Change is Good”. Not all change is good. But when we meet people who only care about themselves and what they can get from others, it’s bound to take a toll on us. You still have your upbeat attitude and can-do spirit. Who knows what the future holds for you now!!
Best wishes,
Your old “Fake friend” Red…