Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011: my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK. I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Katie @ Wildwood Creek says
This post says it all. We all go through highs and lows, and you have shown us how to handle a difficult year with faith and grace. You’re an inspiration to me, from your decorating to your faith. Streams in the Desert is one of my favorites, also. Blessings to you and your family.
bubbles says
Thank you.
Ann says
I have read your blog for several years now, Rhoda, and I have so admired your faith over this past year. God is with us in every trial, and you have truly glorified Him when sharing your story. I pray that you always hold my favorite verse (Jeremiah 29:11) close to your heart. I can’t wait to see what blessings are in store for you!
Beth says
You have inspired me today. I am on my knees for you and thanking our Father for many blessings . My mother died 9 years ago at the age of 75 (too young). I decided then that life was too short to put off any longer the dream I had…. I am now doing interiors design work and have a small retail store in Orlando. It started out as a shop with small furniture, lamps and accessories to support my design work. In this “down economy” it has grown to include a children’s room and ladies room (jewelry, handbags, scarves, clothing) It is hard work but oh so rewarding when people come in and tell me how much they love it. I have people who travel to Orlando and it has become one of their places to go when they visit.
Let your parents wrap you in love… this is where the Lord wants you at this time….
Ann says
I just wanted to say thank you for your transparency and your bravery in sharing this post. May you be blessed in every way, today and every day.
[email protected] says
Definitely life is not a magazine cover, that’s a very good title you chose. We’re all in process of growing. 🙂
I believe that those moments/parts in life we share with others that we don’t have “it all together” are the places God can use to help and reach others… “when I’m weak, I’m strong”… Thanks for being vulnerable! 🙂
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Hugs! Hugs!
Heather says
Thank you so much for this post. God bless you & your family.
Lauren says
Rhoda,
It is so evident that the Lord is your Rock, Fortress and Strong Tower. Thank you for reminding all of us that His ways are perfect, no matter what it might feel like in the midst of pain and trials. Praying for you now, that the Lord would continue to strengthen, comfort, and guide you, as He sustains you each day with His grace. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Adrienne says
What a beautiful post, Rhoda! Thank you for sharing from your heart and for opening your life a bit to us. You are SO right – life on our blogs is not always just what we read. Life has a way of happening behind the scenes.
You are a strong, brave lady and I admire you for going on. God bless you every moment of the day – giving thanks for what He has given you is such a thing of beauty. Thank you for sharing from your heart.
~Adrienne~
jane @ The Borrowed Abode says
Rhoda, I teared up when I read your post – feeling for you and all you’ve been through. Thank you for being willing to share with us – I know there’s other women out there who have been through similar situations, my best friend being one of them, and I think if they see this it will help them know they’re not alone.
I”ve been pursuing my dream in the last year, but the big leap of faith will be when I leave my corporate job to pursue it full-time. 🙂 Somewhere around my 32nd birthday I realized that I wanted to just GO for it – because I agree, you’re never too old to reinvent yourself.
lesli says
Rhoda – Thank you for sharing. I am sorry for your lifes turn but so inspired by your spirit. Sometimes when I look at Blogs all day, I get so bummed out at what I don’t have…you remind me of ALL I do have and all YOU have…you have everything you need to go forward…and then some. Come on over to myold countryhouse anytime you need a distraction. I might just put a new section in my blog called, “The Truth”! best regards
Lea says
Rhoda,
My dear friend. You and your blog, guided me through a very dark time in my life and you without knowing it gave me hope that I would have a better life.
God is the ultimate healer, he has taken you through this storm and he will rest his gentle hand on your shoulder and continue to guide daily, he is a awsome God, and he has awsome plans for you.
We never know why he allows things to happen, but we can rest assured he is going to make something wonderful come to pass.
You inspire us daily, with your creativity, your charm and your uncanny ability to make each of us believe we can do it! You have gone through this storm with incredible grace, and dignity and no doubt that is because of the truly remarkable woman you are.
I will be following you, cheering for you, praying for you each and everyday.
And remember With God All Thing Are Possible.
Lea
Amanda @ Serenity Now says
Such a beautifully written post, Rhoda! It made me want to reach through the computer screen and hug you. Thank you for sharing from your heart. Life is most certainly not a magazine cover—I appreciate your honesty and encouragement to share more real life in the blogosphere! 🙂
janet metzger says
Dear Rhoda,
First I need to say that I just want to hug you ((((((((hug))))))).
OK…we got that out of the way ;->
Can I tell you how much I loved this post? It seems weird saying I loved a post about someones hardships…kind of like saying you LOVED Schindler’s List. Does that make sense? What you said about blogs painting such a rosy picture of the writers life. That has always been my biggest criticism about bloggers. Let’s face it…not everyone is married to an AMAZING man. Much of it comes off sounding very cliche and phony.
Your candor is so refreshing and honest. It reminds me once again not to be so quick to judge people in their actions…you never know what is behind them.
I remember reading a comment left on a past post. She scolded you for
posting so many product related stories and pretty much called you a sell out. That really bothered me at the time and now if I were that woman I would feel ashamed.
As you said …you do what you need to do make a living for yourself. No one has the right to question that…NO ONE. God is the only one we need to account to.
So keep on keeping on my friend. You have so many friends here in Blogland and that tells me you are doing something very right.
OK….now I really can’t wait to meet you at HAVEN!!!
Much love,
Janet xox
http://theemptynest-janet.blogspot.com/
Joy says
Thanks for sharing these words of encouragement. God is with us in every trial, and you have shared His love via your pen on your blog today. Your post is just what I need to read today, as it’s 5 a.m. and I still have not slept because of a trial I’m going thru. It is such a great reminder for us to rest all our cares before the Lord. Thanks for sharing and your in my prayers that the Lord will continue to give you His strength for each new day.
Luciane at HomeBunch.com says
Please, pass the tissue! 🙂
I’m not joking, my friend. You’ve spoken to my soul this morning.
We also had everything and, with the financial crisis we lost a lot. We still have a nice house, but I know we need to downsize. We’re trying to sell it and it’s not being easy. You’re right, nothing and no one is perfect when you look close enough. You have no idea how much stress we suffered the last 3 years and I didn’t even think my marriage would survive. We were loosing everything. I kept strong with my faith, praying for God’s love. I need to feel that He still loved us, cared for us. It took a while to feel this Love again. I wanted to work, but having two children I’d spend more money with daycare than if I stayed home. I started my blog to feel more useful and hoping I could grow with it and someday, also be able to make some money with it. God is being so, so good. He’s helping my blog grow, I’m also not getting rich from it, but it’s helping with things around here. God gave us a really beautiful gift in the beginning of this year, he gave us a son! Our baby boy will be born in 2 months and my marriage and our family couldn’t be stronger. We have faith that things will get better and they are, slowly.
Nothing is perfect and everybody goes through difficult times. The important thing is: Don’t forget you aren’t alone! You are not! Even when there’s no one to dry your tears, you are not alone. Even when you think God don’t hear your prayers, I guarantee you… He’s still there. You’ll get out of these problems, God will dissolve the knots of your life. Be patient, have faith, keep walking ahead. Your path will be cleared.
We’re all growing.
And you are not alone.
Thank you for opening up and allow us to do the same.
God bless you, my friend.
xo
Luciane at HomeBunch.com
Laura @ Our House Of Joyful Noise says
Rhoda,
Such beautiful words and a living testimony, of example, encouragement, and faith.
Keep Strong, and Rock On!
Peace,
Laura
Myra @ My Blessed Life says
Rhoda, you are just precious. This post is the most beautifully written, amazing thing ever. I’m SO thankful for your testimony of faith. God is so faithful. I’ve prayed beauty for ashes for you so many times in the last several months and I know that God will continue to fulfill that promise in your life. I love Streams in the Desert too. I read it every day and my heart is so blessed. Love you so so very much!
brandi says
dear Rhoda, thank you so much for sharing your story. my eyes filled up with tears as i continued reading. i felt as though you were speaking directly to me. i am inspired by your resilience.
Rosey says
What a wonderful, perfect write-up. Thank you for sharing.