Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011:Â my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK.  I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
Patty Hibble says
Rhoda…you’re such an inspiration! I appreciate your words of wisdom. I have made many mistakes in my adult life, and I wondered why God let me make them (particularly the really bad ones). But then I came to realize that God lets us make our own decisions, find our own ways and lets us grow from them. Probably like you and most others, I would never make those same errors again. However, I wouldn’t change anything as they’ve made me who I am today. Sounds kinda whacky. I am grateful that I’ve lived in hell before, as I can fully appreciate living in heaven today! Thank God.
Thank you for everything you blog about. Your blog is the first one I subscribed to and has always been my favorite…
and now, even moreso! Godspeed.
Kelley says
I am so glad you pushed the *PUBLISH* button. Do NOT regret it for one moment.
The only thing I want to add is this: After 25 years of marriage, the gavel came down and it was over. My father has not once been the man God expected him to be, but my mother has never. once. said. a. single. negative. thing. about. him. to her children. Because of mother, I could forgive my father for his numerous extra-marital affairs. I didn’t want to, but she showed me how.
I am so sorry for all that you have lost, but I am truly grateful for all that you have learned. An inspiring post, in deed.
kelly thompson stylish patina says
thank you for sharing this wonderful heart felt post!
Judy says
Dear Rhoda, Thanks so much for sharing your heartfelt post! I can relate to everything that’s going on with you and we all know that our lives aren’t “magazine covers”. At least you’ve continued blogging through your crises. I on the other hand….have gone through “things” with my adult children that have kind of put ‘me’ on ‘hold’. I have to think of all the positives in my life, such as my wonderful husband, Todd, and we have our health. I have a great career and home and family. We’ve been married 10 plus years and am very thankful….but, it is my 3rd marriage! Maybe third time is the charm. Anyway…..have a great day…..and PLEASE keep blogging! Love ya, Judy
Jean D says
What a wonderful and honest post. Also, very positive and even after all you are going through, not feeling sorry for yourself. This makes me like you even more than I did before! Please know that we are here for you to vent. It’s nice to have someone be real for once and not show the “magazine cover” as you say. It gets old to read blogs about how perfect someone’s life is and how they can’t decide which $100 shoes to buy next. Times are tough right now and it’s the little things that count. Family, Friends, being Frugal and appreciating all God has given you. Thank you for that reminder and the wonderful pep talk!
Laura says
So beautifully written and so perfectly said, Rhoda. Thank you for such a touching post. You are an inspiration to this lurker, mid-40s, soon-to-be career changer! I’m not sure what that dream career is, but I’m about to jump into the deep end of the pool.
Shay says
Rhoda,
I’m so glad you posted this message of hope. I too have been having problems in my married life and just this past Sunday, turned it all over to the Lord. I’ve been trying to “fix” it for many years, but now I’m just asking God to show me the way. Your heartfelt message and your courage to make lemonade out of lemons inspires me. I think the most important message I got from your post, is the fact that indeed, life is not a magazine cover. We tend to get wallowed in our own problems and have envy of others. Yet, we never know what is truly going on in other people’s lives. Outwardly they seem to have it all, when in fact they may be miserable and unhappy. I pray that you continue to find peace and happiness with the unexpected turns that God has given you.
Patricia says
Dear Rhoda,
This heartfelt post couldn’t have come at a better time for me…..your words have opened my eyes and made me realize that I can get through my hard times too…..just be patient and believe that the Lord will see us through – he will not abandon us. Oh ! And – enjoy this time with your loving parents…..you are so fortunate really, to be living with them, and being able to spend your days with them – I miss my loving parents every single day, and every day wish I could see them and talk with them again. Tell your Mom and Dad today how much you love them !!
Pat@Back Porch Musings says
Rhoda, you know how I have always admired your strength and tenacity. Those and your faith have just absolutely shown over the past year. You are a wonderful example for keeping your chin up!
Kowing what it is like to start over, when I least expected I was going to have to, I am aware of how easy it could be to wallow in self pity; I’ve seen it happen. All those years ago, I decided to pick myself up and keep on keeping on and I haven’t stopped over the more than 30 years, since I began my “newer life”. I admire your “just do it” attitude, so very much.
You are amazing my friend!!
Jennifer Rizzo says
Rhoda, I know what you mean, and my prayers are with you. There is a real person behind the blog. A real person who’s life isn’t always easy, in fact sometimes, it just plain sucks. But those plans God has for us with out us knowing why are the hardest to get through. You are an amazing person.
Elizabeth H says
Beautiful post Rhoda. Our God is an awesome God. I love your blog and have for a long time. I read you first and this post is the best! I would be lost without your blog. I do not have a blog so thanks for letting us non-bloggers read yours. Very inspirational.
Sandra says
Rhoda – I should really apologize to you because I have cherished you and your blog dearly and have never told you that. You have been a bright spot in my daily life for the last year since I found you, and I have received such joy from you but have never told you that. God has used you so mightily – you will honestly never know how many people you bring a moment of joy to – and as we all know, joy is precious. Obviously I was first drawn to you because of your beautiful taste in decor, but what has truly touched me is your sincerity and love of the people in your lives. You are so right that we can look at someone’s life and assume it is perfect – thank you for being truthful that life isn’t always as it seems from the outside. You are like a sister that we all dream of having – your own sister must know that she has been blessed beyond belief. The posts about your family and friends are the ones I treasure the most. Showing the pictures of your parents hands – you will never know how happy that made me and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you then – I should have. Your sweet daddy helping you on projects – so much like my own father. Boy – isn’t it a wonderful thing that God doesn’t reveal too much to us at times? If we knew what lay ahead for us, it might terrify us yet when the time comes, God provides. You are right that your blog is a ministry – whether you are showing us the beauty in decor or the beauty in relationships, God is using you to touch lives. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And please tell your parents thank you from me – they are obviously fantastic people to have brought such a wonderful, Godly lady into this world!
adventuresindinner says
Rhoda, it is just so true. During my very worst moments (many of them from my former marriage) I just needed to lookthere up and He was to help me out. Sometimes it took me a bit of time to look up but it always worked out. Life is still not a magazine cover but it is quite wonderful.
Carolee says
Good morning Rhoda – thanks so much for today’s post. I am one of those lurkers that rarely comments. I went thru a very hurtful, challenging time four years ago, and I agree that with faith you survive. Maybe not in the way you expected, but still you survive and learn to be happy again. The Lord has given me so many blessings since that time and for that I am truly grateful. You are such an inspiration to so many. Keep on with your wonderful blog and thanks again for sharing. Hugs!
Marjorie says
Rhoda – I have “lurked” on your blog for over a year now. I prayed for you when you posted about your marriage and impending divorce. I have been grateful for the lovely posts you have put together and am thankful especially for your post this morning. I am getting ready to go to clinicals for nursing school in a city 3 hours away (after starting school again two years ago at the age of 44). So, yes …. I DO believe God can open up doors for us, no matter our age. Thank you for being such a beautiful reminder of that hope this morning. I have been very tired and worn out (in my soul – if you know what I mean). This journey has been neither easy nor fast…. but I am still on it, and I continue to give God the glory – even in my exhaustion, for the promise of a new day EACH DAY… and a love that never fails. I remain, In His Grace!
Casey says
Rhoda,
Thank you for sharing your faith, honesty, and inspiration. I’m in my 50’s and about to file for divorce after 35 years. It’s a scary road, but I have faith God will guide me. He is using you to shine His love & glory to all of us. I wish you all the best. You are a true GEM! And I’m so glad you made this post to encourage those of us that really needed some hope today.
Casey
Elaine says
Dear Rhoda,
You touched me today. I have always enjoyed your blog because we are close in age – and the other “life is wonderful” ones come off a bit plastic at times. I like you even more now – we share some life changing events and I feel your grace and dignity shining through! Thank you for being you! And thank you for sharing with us – virtual hugs sent your way!!!
Jen- says
Good job, sweetie. 🙂
Brooke says
Can I just say Hallalujah?! What a great post. Thank you for being real and for your faith even in the tough times (and for sharing it!). I’m not surprised at your hope, though…your face just glows with it! You have such a fantastic smile:) One that is real, not forced and that radiates what’s inside. Know you are being lifted up and so much more joy can come from peace & contentment than in just having those “things” we all think we want. Blessings to you, my friend!
KAYE says
Wow! You have a ministry that is very powerful. The Lord has placed you where he needs you to be to help spread his word. Please continue sharing that God is Good!!!!