I’ve got some family news to share today and wanted to keep you all in the loop too. I’ve talked about my parents mountain house many many times over the years I’ve been blogging. I’ve shared posts and activities that we have had in that mountain house as a family. Mom and Dad built the house over 30 years ago outside Murphy, NC and it’s been a summer getaway spot for them. They spent so much time up there during summer months and dad planted a huge garden up there every summer as well as his house here in Marietta. Two gardens! If you follow me on Instagram, you saw us up there a couple of Fridays ago for the last time.
It’s a house on 6 acres, with a stream in the front yard and a nice flat area below for his garden. Perfect for them. The last time he planted up there was 2016. In 2017 he was very ill as you all probably remember and his garden that year was very minimal. He planted last year at their Marietta house, but it’s been 3 years since the mountain garden was planted. He dearly loved that plot of ground and it grew some incredible vegetables over the years.
I’ve done several posts on the house and garden, but this one is a good recap on all of it. You can see the home cooked vegetable meals my mom made on this post and there are others linked off it as well.
And here’s another good post on the mountain house, with some of our relatives visiting and a fish fry we had. Such good food and fond memories of this house over the years. If you read those posts, you can really get a feel for what this mountain house has meant to my parents and our entire extended family. It was always their dream to have a house up there in the NC mountains. Our family had vacationed up there for years. My youthful memories are great of the Smoky mountains and much of our extended family spent so much time there as well. Many of our family members have gathered at this house over the years too and we have eaten some good Southern cooking.
So two or 3 years ago, we all began talking about when the time would come that mom and dad would sell the house. As I mentioned, 2016 was the last year dad gardened up there. He had two gardens and at almost 90 at the time, it was too much for him to do both. Mom was ready for him to give it up too (it was a lot of work for her too, with canning and putting up vegetables) and the next year (2017) took care of that, as that’s when he got c-diff and couldn’t do any gardening that year. Thank goodness, he has recovered enough that he grew some things last year and he’s going to plant a few things this year as well, but his strength is waning now and he just can’t do what he’s always done.
That’s his happy place, his garden. I know it’s sad for them to sell this place, but we all agree that it’s time. The time has come that he can no longer keep the house up, keep the grass and brush cut back as it should be and just overall take care of the house. You all know how much upkeep a house and grounds take, especially when you don’t live there full time.
Closing is tomorrow and we will all breathe a sigh of relief to sell the house. The good Lord smiled on them too and the new owners wanted everything in the house as well, including the contents of the basement. That was a relief to mom and really was a relief to us as well. We had talked about having to clean out that house many times and none of us were looking forward to that. So, this was an added bonus and blessing!
The house unfortunately is not worth a lot of money, but the memories left behind are priceless. It’s time to leave it behind. Keeping the house wasn’t an option for me or my sister or Lauren. We all have our own houses and live too far away to take care of another house. Plus, it wasn’t our dream place, but theirs. It took about a year and 1/2 for the house to sell and we are glad it’s finally happening. The new couple that’s buying it will love it, I’m sure.
My sister, brother-in-law, and I went up with mom and dad a couple of weeks ago to pick up their personal belongings. That swing and rocking chair came home with them. Lauren is getting the swing. It was a gift from my dad’s church congregation and it’s a good one. The rocking chair is a Brumby rocker, famous in these parts. Lauren is going to hang the swing in her backyard cabana in Louisiana.
We walked around and helped mom pack up clothes and personal items to bring home. Thank goodness we didn’t have to go through everything. She was so happy about that! They don’t need a thing from this house, as their Marietta house is full too. They have all they need here.
The welcome signs will be left behind.
Dad was feeling a little sad, I know, but he handled it well. He can’t do a lot these days as far as moving boxes and all, so we did it for him. He’s not nearly as strong as he was before he got sick.
Packing up clothes to bring home. We were just talking yesterday about how nice it will be to not have to worry about the house anymore. Mom will be glad especially as she handles most of the bills and anything to do with running the house. No more filling up the natural gas tank, worrying about upkeep on the house, or paying property taxes every year. That adds up too.
I snapped a few pics around the house as we went through, things that have been in the house for so long.
I found a Jadeite bowl and brought it home. One of mom’s longtime collection.
I snapped one more pic of mom and dad to document the last day as we locked the doors and came back home. Closing is tomorrow and that will mark the end of this chapter for the mountain house.
We met up with my cousin who lives up there for lunch and I caught dad in a laughing moment. They have spent so much time up here over the years, but I know it will be a relief as well as sad to bring this to a close.
I thought you all would like to know this news too since I’ve shared that house so much over my blogging life. Life changes and evolves and this is one of those changes for our family. It’s sad, but necessary and we all know that. It’s just another reminder that life is short and we better enjoy it while we have it. Don’t take those days and moments for granted. Every day is precious and one day we will look back and remember the good ole’ days for what they were.
Every family goes thru this process. Aging parents, selling property and figuring out what’s next. We hope our parents can just stay in their current home for the rest of their lives. That would be our wish, but of course we don’t know what the future holds. They are still doing pretty well on their own and we are close by if they need us.
Have you all gone through this too in your family? I am sure many of you have. It’s a part of life and things that we all have to deal with. Life is precious and full of good memories. Hold on to all of them! When I posted on Instagram and Facebook while were were up there that day going through this day,
I did have a couple of comments on Facebook that were rather unnecessary. Something to the effect that it’s just too bad that children take over and make their parents sell homes and do things they don’t want to do. And why isn’t this house staying in the family? Comments to that effect. I did respond back to them that we all have homes of our own, we live too far away to keep the house and besides, it’s not our dream place to have, so it was time to sell. When folks can’t take care of a house any longer, nor can family members take care of it, it’s time to go. We will have no regrets about selling the house and leaving it behind. The memories will always be in our hearts though! Can’t take that away!
Rhoda, You’re a wonderful daughter and have helped your parents make a decision that is right for them. How blessed you are to still have them with you. My Dad passed away almost 5 yrs ago at the age of 82. I still have my Mom who is almost 83. Both of them are such incredible blessings and I am so thankful! In the Bible, John 14:2 says, “In My Father’s house are many mansions…..” And in those heavenly mansions, we, as Christians, will never have to move again! I can’t wait! God bless you and your family as you all move forward. The Lord’s faithfulness never fails.
Thank you for sharing your heart and your parents and family with us-they are precious. We too have had to walk that same journey with both our parents with vacation property as well as with their primary residence-yes, so sad but necessary and precious memories to hold on to. Yes-embrace every day the Lord gives.💕
Wonderful memories!! But thankful for peace and relief for your mom and dad
Thanks for sharing. I’ve always enjoyed your blog because I can relate to it. Your family seems a lot like mine, right down to the love of southern home cooking. Oh and your niece Lauren was a year behind me in law school!
My parents had to tear down the old farm house that was my great grandparents and then my grandparents. It just didn’t make financial sense to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to renovate it to make it livable, when no one in the family wanted it, and there was no hope of selling it. Unfortunately we’re not the type of family that can afford to make decisions on the basis of sentimentality. There were lots of cousins that were upset by the decision and it broke my heart, but ultimately I understood why my parents had to do it. I was far less sentimental when my parents sold the house that I grew up in. I guess that’s because my parents are still here, but my grandparents are gone so their house was the last concrete link I had to them. But selling my childhood home did help put things in perspective. There’s a time for every purpose.
Is this Christy Sanders??? If so, what a small world! How funny that you’ve ended up following my aunt’s blog. She has a far reach – I regularly hear from long lost friends and acquaintances that have stumbled across a post or two. Glad you’re one of them!
Hi, Lauren, I checked her email and yes that’s her name. In case she doesn’t come back and see this.
Yes, you’ll always have the memories and doing what’s right for you and your family is what is most important. I’m sorry people are so ridiculous and uncaring. Wishing you the best. Love the photos of your sweet parents. Big hugs.
Rhoda,
As I’ve said before, I so enjoy reading of your family and your example of what’s important in life and see who many parallels to my family and good reminders to be present in these moments. I am sorry for the sad bit of dealing with it, but now that it’s behind my wish is that your parents are blessed with a sense of more time and less worry as freed up by this and that it’s filled with things they love equally as much. I know they have plenty to enjoy! Also, they started something there that clearly will continue for others and that is a wonderful thing as well!
Thank you all for such thoughtful comments! You all left so many that instead of replying to most all of you, I’ll just say a blanket thank you for understanding. I know that many of you have gone through this or will be going through this as well. It’s part of life that we all face as families and it’s comforting to know that others are out there too who have walked this road. Mom and dad know it’s time and they are grateful for all the blessings we’ve had with that house. Now it’s time to simplify and enjoy the life they have left. It’s hard to see our parents at the end of their journey in life, that’s the saddest part to know that they won’t be around for too many more years. Life is so short!
As for the negative Nellies, it was only a couple of people. They really don’t bother me, I take that stuff with a grain of salt and know that anyone who makes comments like that just doesn’t understand a family situation like this. Thank you all for the sweetness and support! Y’all are the best!
I can’t believe you received some of those comments. Y’all are such an amazing supportive family. I read this thinking….how I wish my parents could be a tad like yours and just ‘downsize.’ It’s a gift to you and your sister that they would be willing to sell. You will always have the memories! Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing! I am sorry that you have to deal with negativity! Everyone needs to do what is right for their family, and again, I thank you for sharing! You honor your parents by supporting them in whatever is best for the entire family!!
Have a wonderful week!
I know from experience that you made this decision at the right time…when your parents could be ‘in on’ the decision. It’s so hard to have to make that decision when one or both of them are incapacitated and ‘wake up’ to find things have changed. This way, your parents will have their chance to grieve what once was…which is very important but they are aware that it is the right thing to do…at the right time.
How wonderful this all turned out for everyone! As I read this, and your instagram stuff, I could not help but feel the mountain house sale is hard for you, possibly because of your own memories or possibly that you feel it might be hard for your parents, or just the realization that this is another big change in the series of changes that are inevitable in this season of life. Your family is so very blessed , and it is truly good and interesting for me to see how God has provided so very well for all of you. When I think of where you were at point, and look at you now! That could only be the hand of God!
HI, Melanie, God has definitely provided when I needed it all along the way. I’m sad for my parents, but not really sad the house will be gone. As I mentioned, the house was their dream and not ours. It holds a lot of memories, but it’s not a house I wanted to hang onto. It’s just the next stage of life and the realization that me and my sister are heading down that aging road too is very sobering.
Thank you for sharing your family with your readers. I have truly enjoyed your posts of your parents’ mountain house and the fabulous gardens. Tomorrow will be sad for my family. My dad died last April 23, the day before my 70 birthday. Dad would have been 98 in August. By the grace of God, 24 hours before dad took his last breath, we were visiting and he was singing his favorite song, “You Are My Sunshine.” I taped it on my phone. The funeral home put it in the video they made for us. Lots of hugs go out to your parents.
Awww, Sandy, so sorry for your loss!
Dear Rhoda,
Don’t let people make you feel bad for the decisions that your family has made. Every situation is different, and they shouldn’t judge. I’m happy for your parents….they have wonderful memories that selling their mountain home will never take away. It’s a bittersweet time. I’m happy for you all too, that you didn’t have to move everything out….it’s grueling, especially as we age. Our family had a cottage on a lake in Michigan since my Dad was a boy, and my Grandpa sold it without discussing it with any of his kids or grandkids. He just thought none of us would be interested, and I think he felt bad after. Several of us were devastated…we would have liked to keep it. But we still have our wonderful memories, and that’s the most important thing! God bless you, Rhoda, and your family
Julie S.
So many mixed emotions! Part of me is sad that your parents sold the house, and part of me is happy. I can just imagine the feelings in your family. It’s indeed a good thing that the house finally sold and won’t be worrisome to your parents and other family members. It has served its purpose.
Such precious memories for your entire family. It is very difficult when the time arrives that a place that has been such a blessing for so many years is a (I hate to use this word) burden, but life beings changes and aging is part of that change. I’ve been there. Cling to the memories and be thankful someone is going to love and care for the place you all love. I saw your post on Instagram and my grandparents lived in the same town where your mom and dad’s house is located. I have a letter from the late 1800s my grand grandmother received from a tobacco company in Winston-Salem offering them a price for their tobacco grown right there in the same little town.
Hi, Tee, that’s so neat! Thanks for sharing!
It’s always a sad time at the end of an ‘era’ like yours. I’m sure your family will always have fond memories of the times spent in the mountain home. As for the ‘nay-sayers’, a response is never necessary. No explanations needed for those comments. You and your family have always appeared to do the right thing and are loving of each other. Blessings to you all.
I agree, you all are so good to your parents and them to you – it was a hard decision to make I’m sure for everyone but the key is that you did as a family what was right for your family at the time – in a lot of ways I am sure they are happy not to have some of the pressures all that brings; but the memories – no one can take those away 🙂 thanks for sharing them as you do, we feel like we know them 🙂 Blessings to all of you –
Transition seems to bring strange sentiment along with it. Strange probably isn’t the best word, but it’s the only word I can come up with. Not only did my Dad have a massive stroke in June 2016, but my daughter graduated high school and went thousands of miles away for college. Then Hurricane Havey happened. We’ve been adjusting to the empty nest, my Dad not being the capable strong man he once was, more grandkids graduating….and getting older. I can’t help but notice that many of the family traditions we held when the kids were younger have faded away as they’ve gotten older. There was no egg hunt this year.
I share all that to say, yes, my family is going through transitions and entering new stages of life as well. I could feel the strangeness of selling the mountain house.
But I also know great things are in store for both our families. Much love to you.
Sharon
p.s. I love that Lauren gets to have the swing. And that you brought home a jadite bowl.
Thank you, Sharon, for sharing your family changes too. That’s something we all have in common. Just by living on this earth, we are subject to changes and aging. It’s not a fun path to navigate, but it’s part of life, so you’re right we have to look at change as an opportunity for growth and new experiences together as a family.
Rhoda, I have an 88 year old mother who is still able to live alone as my sisters check on her daily but we were just discussing what we may have to do to keep her cared for in the days to come. As you said, things can change in an instant. We have a small vacation home and many of our friends have asked what we will do when we get older. We are just in our 60s now so hoping for many more years to enjoy it. It is on our family farm and we plan to leave it to our kids. If they want to sell it, that will be their decision. I hope we can be gracious as we age and realize that our children have our best interest at heart. I know you and your sister are caring for your parents very well. ignore the Debbie Downers.
Selling a family home filled with memories is tough. After my mother died, my father sold the family home and moved to Florida. Everyone loves visiting him here and after I retired my husband and I moved to the same town. It was easy to leave behind the CT house, because most of the siblings had moved away. The place we gather now is at my father’s RI beach home. It is not a fancy home, just a small home that was poorly added on to by the previous owners. But, we all vacationed there as kids and the grandchildren enjoy the house now. We have to sleep on couches and floors to fit, but we love gathering there from the different states we now live in. But, my father still needs to rent the house out during prime season, and he doesn’t visit as often. He is 86. We know someday that house will be sold. Even if we do inherit it, we don’t know how we could divide the care between six siblings. We don’t look forward to the transition, but it is part of life. How fortunate you are to have your memories and family. How fortunate your parents are to have family help them through their transition.
Thanks for sharing your story, Kathy!