Remembering Nanny Joan

Since we have walked together through the deaths of all of our parents, it’s only fitting that I share that Mark’s mom, Joan, 94, passed away July 4th. Mark was with her when she passed that morning. I wanted to remember her here as well, since she was a big part of my life the last almost 10 years. She was a fine lady and will be missed by the entire clan of 11 grandchildren and 23 great grandchildren. Joan, or Nanny as she was affectionately called by all of us, was a wonderful mom and grandmother. When Mark and I met and got married almost 8 years ago, I knew then that we would be walking this journey together of losing our parents and that road started with Mark’s dad almost 5 years ago. We lost both my mom and dad in the last 18 months and now his mom this month. It’s the end of an era for that generation, as they are all leaving us way too soon it seems. Losing our parents definitely leaves an indelible hole. Mark and I both had wonderful childhoods with parents who loved us and looked out for our well being.

The first summer after Mark and I started dating, the summer of 2016, his whole family headed to St. George Island in the Florida panhandle and I got a good taste of how a big family does a beach vacation. This was before they all got married and had kids. Back then there were only 2 grand babies for Mark, now there are 9, with another on the way soon. It was a fun time and I was just getting to know this big clan of kinfolk. They were loud and boisterous and had a great time together. It was obvious they all loved each other. Mark’s mom and dad were there too and enjoyed being there for the whole week. The beach trips I went on (only 2, before they all started getting married & having kids) were Mark and his girls, along with his 2 sisters and one of the sister’s grown kids, so it was a smaller family then than it is now, but you can see how many beach tents we had then. Mark’s mom and dad welcomed me warmly from the first time I met them and I grew to love them dearly. I didn’t grow up with a big family like this, so it was fun to experience it for myself.

Mark’s mom, Joan, was born and raised in New York City, in Queens and moved to Orlando when she was 18, where she met Mark’s southern daddy who was born in TN. They settled down together in Miami, where they had 3 kids and then they moved to Georgia. We both moved to Georgia not that far apart from each other, Mark in 1961 and my family in 1963, where we were both raised in metro Atlanta. Mark’s mom worked in the Classifieds at the Atlanta Journal & Constitution for many years while Mark was growing up. She talked fondly about enjoying her time there and how much she enjoyed working downtown. She was a fun lady!

Mark’s parents bought land out in West Cobb County in 1980 and built a house on their 5 acre property. They loved their land and enjoyed it for 40 years. After Mark’s dad passed away in 2020, Nanny wanted to stay in her house and not move, so she was able to do that and stayed in her beloved home for almost 5 years after his death. Mark’s dad loved his property and had a big garden in back of the house. I felt right at home when I visited them.

Mark and I would visit his mom and dad regularly and his mom more often after his dad died. She was looked after by many people during those 5 years. All she wanted was to stay in her house and she would read her books and enjoy looking out the window at the beautiful pasture view. We took Daisy over there with us many times and she loved our little dog. She used to tell us all the time that she would keep Daisy when we went out of town. This was after she fell and broke her hip and was on a walker and could hardly get out the door by herself, but insisted she could keep Daisy for us! We just let her think she could!

After breaking her hip, she was on a walker at home and got around pretty well with that. Someone was checking in on  her every day and helping her with food and going where she needed to go and Mark’s sister, Linda, lived a couple of minutes away down the street so that helped as well. The house and property was sold to the neighboring family not too long after Mark’s dad died, so that was settled. It was something that had been planned for a long time and she was able to stay in the house as long as she wanted by the family. She almost made it to the end at home.

She dearly loved those grandchildren and great grandchildren, even if she couldn’t remember all their names and who they belonged too. She always had a smile for them all. This was on her screened porch at her house before she moved out.

{This pic was just a couple weeks before her death at assisted living.}

In May, she began having some breathing issues, was taken to the hospital where they ran tests (didn’t find anything major) and did what they could to make her comfortable, but then released her and it was time for her to go to assisted living, so that she would have more eyes and hands on her. In May, she moved from the hospital into the same facility where my parents were, which is now called Arbor Terrace (then it was Dogwood Forest). She was only there about 6 weeks before she passed away. She had lost her appetite and wasn’t eating much at all. The days were up and down as she would be alert one day and sleeping the next. She was on oxygen off and on during this time. They did manage to get her to the dining room pretty often, but Mark would go and see about her twice a day to make sure she was eating something in her room. Ice cream was her favorite thing to eat. She was on hospice after moving to assisted living and I think we all knew she wasn’t going to make it much longer. She was a dear lady and everyone loved her. The entire family will miss her presence and laughter greatly. I just wanted to share Joan with you and let you know of her passing. She leaves a big hole in her family, but also a great legacy of love.