So many of you have been with me for years, back when I was living in Birmingham and I first introduced you all to my parents. You’ve been so supportive all these years and really fell in love with my parents. I can’t blame you, they are such loveable people. When mom passed away last year, there was such an outpouring of love for her and I appreciated all your tender and sweet words as we lost our matriarch. She was a woman of faith with big shoes to fill and we still miss her greatly. It is with great sadness that I share that our dear daddy, Albert, passed away this past week, on February 6th. This is not the post I thought I would be writing this weekend, but here we are. It came as a surprise to all of us and much faster than we anticipated, but God’s grace is sufficient and we are grateful he didn’t suffer long.
Dad’s 97th birthday last July
It’s been said that when you lose your parents, it makes you feel like an orphan. I think I’m starting to understand that now. Now that dad is gone, it makes a lot more sense to me. Losing the stability and foundation you were born with is hard to imagine and when parents are no longer on this earth, it’s a sobering reality that we are left alone and no longer have that parental bond that we all started life with. My parents were exceptional if I dare say that out loud. It’s certainly true to me. They were as close to the perfect parents that I can imagine.
This was the day before I left for the cruise, he was doing ok
I had no idea that this turn of health would happen so fast. I was just in there the day before we left for our cruise. I was gone for a week and when I got back, the facility was locked down because norovirus was rampant in the Assisted Living side. Dad is in memory care and they didn’t have any cases there, but they were being extra cautious, so outside visitors had to wait a week to come back in. When I went back this past Monday, I could hardly believe my eyes. I had talked on the phone to the care director earlier that week and I knew that his care plan had changed in January. He was needing a lot more help with daily things. I knew he was declining the last couple of months, but it sped up exponentially the last week. He was having a harder time getting up and walking, but he was still doing fine feeding himself at the table at that time. In just a week, things changed drastically and he was a completely different person when I got back in there. They told me the previous week that he had stayed in his room and they had him sitting in his chair for meals, even feeding him when he had a hard time getting the fork to his mouth. He had been sleeping more and didn’t want to get up in the morning, so all of these are signs that the body is slowing down, especially losing his appetite. He loved to eat.
Handwritten note of a song that mom wrote & left in her devotional book.
It just happened so much faster than any of us dreamed it would happen, but I’ve prayed that the Lord would take him fast and not let him suffer. My sister, Renee, was driving into town this past Monday for a scheduled visit anyway and the timing ended up being perfect. I let her and Lauren know on Monday how bad he was. After a week of not wanting to eat much and sleeping a lot more, we think he had a stroke during the night on Sunday. We didn’t get a doctor’s diagnosis on that, but he sure had the signs. It wasn’t bad enough to paralyze him, but his speech was definitely off. The staff told me he was completely different that Monday when I went in and I could see it for myself. Speaking was difficult at this time, but I was able to talk to him and he heard me and talked back. The hospice nurse was there and I met her for the first time as she took his vitals and accessed where he was. I’m so grateful they were involved just the week before, it was just in time.
My sister came in on Tuesday and the two of us fed him strawberry ice cream. We talked to him and told him how much we loved him. He told us he loved us very much as well. It was heart warming and comforting to have those final moments of communicating with him. We still didn’t know how long we would have him and on Wednesday, hospice had a hospital bed brought in so that he would be more comfortable. He passed away later that night in his sleep after midnight. My sister and I had prayed that God would take him and not let him linger and the Lord answered our prayers. He didn’t suffer long and we are so grateful for that.
Daddy was an exceptional man and we grieve his death, but we know he’s in a better place and reunited with our mama. When I went in on Monday to see him he looked up at me and said “where’s your mama”. I said she’s not here yet and we talked a little bit as I told him again that I loved him. He told me back. I asked him if he was hurting and he said no he wasn’t.
God has been so good to us as a family and given us our parents for way longer than most people get to have them. Dad was 97 and mom was 95 when she passed over a year ago. Most people don’t get their parents that long, so I have absolutely nothing to complain about. It’s just hard going through the process of watching your loved one pass from this earth. There’s no easy way to do it, except pray for grace and mercy. We got that for daddy. I know where he is and I know what’s in his heart and that gives me comfort. He loved God with all his heart. Thank you all for loving him so much. The outpouring of love on my Facebook page and Instagram page were overwhelming and I’ve tried to read every comment. He was a beloved husband, father, and grandfather, plus a retired Pastor loved by many people in the church. He outlived all of his Pastor friends and we didn’t even have a preacher to call who knew him all that well, but we will have a celebration of life service next weekend to honor this great man of God. He will be dearly missed. Even with dementia, he still had a sense of humor and was still pretty alert in spite of his disease.
Mom was in assisted living for 2 years 2 months and daddy was in memory care for 3 years, 3 months. We are so glad we moved them when we did and they had a relatively easy and contented life out of their home for their last years when they needed help the most. Memory Care facilities are God-sent places for families that need help.
Daddy and mama will be buried at the Georgia National Cemetery for Veterans, with a military ceremony and interred in a vault and we will have that service as soon as we can after the celebration service. You can see daddy’s obituary here.
Deepest sympathy to your family.
Rhoda, sending my deepest condolences. That feeling of being orphaned once parents pass is real. I was 28 when my father passed, and just shy of 50 when my mom passed. You were/are so blessed to have such pillars of character as parents. As a reader, I could truly sense it. Fly high, Albert, and rest in peace, high on that mountain. 💔
I am so sorry for your loss. I have always enjoyed hearing about your mom and dad. They reminded me of my grandparents. Salt of the earth kind of people.
Rhoda, I am very sorry to hear of the passing of your father. I have followed your blog for years and always enjoyed the posts about your parents. They both reminded me so much of my mother and father. Like your father my Dad was a Pastor and he also loved his garden. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Rhoda I’m so sorry to read about your dad. I loved hearing about your visits with he and your mom. Loved also hearing him pray. What a sweet special man. What a legacy he left behind!
You’ve helped me immensely in sharing about the road you’ve walked with your parents. Today is my parent’s 73rd Anniversary. My mom lives in Independent Care and my dad recently moved to Assisted Living after a brain bleed. Thank you for sharing hard truths yet always encouraging at the same time. Sending a virtual hug.
Your mother’s song says it all.
May God grant you and your family peace and to continue the family legacy of steadfast faith and love your parents had.
I pray God will cover you in peace these next difficult weeks as you say goodbye to your daddy. Just as you were covered in love by your wonderful parents your whole life.
Rhoda, God bless you and your family. My parents died within 6 months of one another many years ago. I miss them every day and think of them often. Seeing pics of your Dad in the garden reminded me of all of the yummy veggies Dad grew every summer. I am very sorry for your loss.
Rhoda – I’m so sorry for the loss of your Dad. I always enjoyed reading about your parents and how lovely they were. We lost my Dad in September after a few months long hospital and nursing home stay. He was in a lot of pain and it was difficult to see happening. Hospice came in and it was the best thing to happen for all of us. You see, my Dad was not a Christian and had resisted it for so many years. We had all been praying for him for a long time, but it was the Chaplain for hospice that was able to lead him to Christ and we are forever grateful. Your Dad (and now mine) are resting in the most beautiful of places with their wives. We will see them again. Hugs to you and your family.
Hi KP, that’s so wonderful that the hospice chaplain ministered to your daddy before he died.
How lovely that you shared this beautiful man , a father of 2 daughters, with us for all these years.
May the Peace of Christ which is beyond all understanding be with you all.
Rhoda,
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet father. It was always a pleasure to read about your mother and father. My mom passed a couple of years before my dad. It does feel like you are orphaned when the remaining parent passes. Condolences to you and your family!
I’m so sorry but the greatest gift is knowing that your parents are united with the Lord. I’m so thankful I had the pleasure of watching your mom make a cake and hearing your dad pray! His voice gave me comfort every time I heard him pray, i love that “ preacher voice”. God bless you and your sister as you walk through this and you both done an excellent job taking care of your parents.
Rhoda,
Thanks for sharing your amazing parents with all of us. You and your family were truly blessed. I will miss reading about them, but will remember them as very special people. It’s your turn to be the light and carry on for Lauren and the baby. Love to you!
Rhoda,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am a longtime reader and remember all the projects your dad helped you with and reading about his garden. You were blessed to have he and your mom. I pray you will have a blessed time with your sister and niece remembering him and the life he lived pointing people to Christ.
Thank you so much for sharing your precious parents with us all these years. May you take comfort in knowing he is walking with Jesus this morning and with all your loved ones who went before, including your precious mama, You are correct, you will now feel like an orphan. In between losing my father and my mother, I lost my brother, my only sibling. The world can be lonely without our “birth” family. Those that shared memories with us of our childhood and youth. RIP dear Albert.
Prayers for you and your family. I have followed your blog for years and always enjoyed the updates on your parents, I have lost both of my parents also and it is a feeling of being lost…but as a Christian I know I will see them again. My parents were great Christian’s and left me and my grandkids a great legacy which I feel is the greatest gift they could have gave to us.
My thoughts are with you and your family in the days ahead, but knowing where they are and where you will be for eternity is such a calming to your soul. God Bless…
So very sad. They were wonderful parents and you have been a wonderful daughter. Love circles all around you.
Rhoda,
So sorry to hear about your father. You mentioned losing both parents gives you an orphan feeling and yes, it is true. You’ll have many memories to keep the spirit alive and well. God Bless you.
Walt
Grieving with you, Sweet Friend. Thank you for sharing these precious souls with us all these years. Your mother’s penned song verse will be your anthem going forward…”He giveth, He giveth, and He giveth again”!
Rho,
What a sweet tribute to your precious Daddy. He was an amazing man. Both of your parents were exceptional people. I was blessed to know them. They were always so sweet to welcome me to their table when I went over with you to visit.
Yes, you do feel like an orphan loosing your parents. I lost my last sibling two years ago. That was hard. Your Dad Mom and siblings are your original family. I know that you will enjoy your Sister and your precious Niece.
I know that you are going to be fine. Your faith in God will sustain you. Isn’t it wonderful to know that this life that we are living now is nothing compared to what God has in store for us in eternity? That’s a promise from Jesus.
Love you friend.
Thank you for sharing your parents with us. It strengthened our connection. May your father rest in peace. Deepest condolences to you and your family.