So many of you have been with me for years, back when I was living in Birmingham and I first introduced you all to my parents. You’ve been so supportive all these years and really fell in love with my parents. I can’t blame you, they are such loveable people. When mom passed away last year, there was such an outpouring of love for her and I appreciated all your tender and sweet words as we lost our matriarch. She was a woman of faith with big shoes to fill and we still miss her greatly. It is with great sadness that I share that our dear daddy, Albert, passed away this past week, on February 6th. This is not the post I thought I would be writing this weekend, but here we are. It came as a surprise to all of us and much faster than we anticipated, but God’s grace is sufficient and we are grateful he didn’t suffer long.
Dad’s 97th birthday last July
It’s been said that when you lose your parents, it makes you feel like an orphan. I think I’m starting to understand that now. Now that dad is gone, it makes a lot more sense to me. Losing the stability and foundation you were born with is hard to imagine and when parents are no longer on this earth, it’s a sobering reality that we are left alone and no longer have that parental bond that we all started life with. My parents were exceptional if I dare say that out loud. It’s certainly true to me. They were as close to the perfect parents that I can imagine.
This was the day before I left for the cruise, he was doing ok
I had no idea that this turn of health would happen so fast. I was just in there the day before we left for our cruise. I was gone for a week and when I got back, the facility was locked down because norovirus was rampant in the Assisted Living side. Dad is in memory care and they didn’t have any cases there, but they were being extra cautious, so outside visitors had to wait a week to come back in. When I went back this past Monday, I could hardly believe my eyes. I had talked on the phone to the care director earlier that week and I knew that his care plan had changed in January. He was needing a lot more help with daily things. I knew he was declining the last couple of months, but it sped up exponentially the last week. He was having a harder time getting up and walking, but he was still doing fine feeding himself at the table at that time. In just a week, things changed drastically and he was a completely different person when I got back in there. They told me the previous week that he had stayed in his room and they had him sitting in his chair for meals, even feeding him when he had a hard time getting the fork to his mouth. He had been sleeping more and didn’t want to get up in the morning, so all of these are signs that the body is slowing down, especially losing his appetite. He loved to eat.
Handwritten note of a song that mom wrote & left in her devotional book.
It just happened so much faster than any of us dreamed it would happen, but I’ve prayed that the Lord would take him fast and not let him suffer. My sister, Renee, was driving into town this past Monday for a scheduled visit anyway and the timing ended up being perfect. I let her and Lauren know on Monday how bad he was. After a week of not wanting to eat much and sleeping a lot more, we think he had a stroke during the night on Sunday. We didn’t get a doctor’s diagnosis on that, but he sure had the signs. It wasn’t bad enough to paralyze him, but his speech was definitely off. The staff told me he was completely different that Monday when I went in and I could see it for myself. Speaking was difficult at this time, but I was able to talk to him and he heard me and talked back. The hospice nurse was there and I met her for the first time as she took his vitals and accessed where he was. I’m so grateful they were involved just the week before, it was just in time.
My sister came in on Tuesday and the two of us fed him strawberry ice cream. We talked to him and told him how much we loved him. He told us he loved us very much as well. It was heart warming and comforting to have those final moments of communicating with him. We still didn’t know how long we would have him and on Wednesday, hospice had a hospital bed brought in so that he would be more comfortable. He passed away later that night in his sleep after midnight. My sister and I had prayed that God would take him and not let him linger and the Lord answered our prayers. He didn’t suffer long and we are so grateful for that.
Daddy was an exceptional man and we grieve his death, but we know he’s in a better place and reunited with our mama. When I went in on Monday to see him he looked up at me and said “where’s your mama”. I said she’s not here yet and we talked a little bit as I told him again that I loved him. He told me back. I asked him if he was hurting and he said no he wasn’t.
God has been so good to us as a family and given us our parents for way longer than most people get to have them. Dad was 97 and mom was 95 when she passed over a year ago. Most people don’t get their parents that long, so I have absolutely nothing to complain about. It’s just hard going through the process of watching your loved one pass from this earth. There’s no easy way to do it, except pray for grace and mercy. We got that for daddy. I know where he is and I know what’s in his heart and that gives me comfort. He loved God with all his heart. Thank you all for loving him so much. The outpouring of love on my Facebook page and Instagram page were overwhelming and I’ve tried to read every comment. He was a beloved husband, father, and grandfather, plus a retired Pastor loved by many people in the church. He outlived all of his Pastor friends and we didn’t even have a preacher to call who knew him all that well, but we will have a celebration of life service next weekend to honor this great man of God. He will be dearly missed. Even with dementia, he still had a sense of humor and was still pretty alert in spite of his disease.
Mom was in assisted living for 2 years 2 months and daddy was in memory care for 3 years, 3 months. We are so glad we moved them when we did and they had a relatively easy and contented life out of their home for their last years when they needed help the most. Memory Care facilities are God-sent places for families that need help.
Daddy and mama will be buried at the Georgia National Cemetery for Veterans, with a military ceremony and interred in a vault and we will have that service as soon as we can after the celebration service. You can see daddy’s obituary here.
So very sorry for this painful loss. Our parents now dwell in our hearts.
So sorry for your loss. I have followed you (and your parents!) since you were in Birmingham. My daddy passed in 1969 when I was only 19. You are so blessed to have him and your momma for so long.
Condolences on your loss. Praying you feel Gods everlasting Love and hold your your memories close in your heart. Hugs.
I just lost my husband so sorry to hear of your daddy’s passing. I know what you are going through and my heart breaks for you
So very sorry for the loss of your precious Dad. We look at life differently when we have lost our parents. Like you, I was fortunate to have both of my wonderful parents most of my life. My Father passed at 94 and my Mother passed a few months ago at 99.
May God comfort you in your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss but also so happy that you have so many joyful memories of both your father and mother. You were truly blessed to have them as your parents.
Oh no, Rhoda. I’m so sorry for your loss. Even though we know our parents won’t live forever, it’s still so hard to comprehend when they leave. May your heart be filled with wonderful memories.
Deepest condolences on the loss of your much loved father.
Dear Rhoda, I have already commented on Instagram and Facebook but also wanted to comment here and send you my love and prayers. Thank you again, for sharing them both for all these years. Many of us loved them and even adopted them as our parents too. I am so grateful you had them for so long. You needed them in your life! God has been so very good to you all! The time is painfully slow here, but in the blink of an eye there, they will welcome you home, never to be parted again! Glad you, Renee and Lauren have each other. So glad you have Mark too. Y’all take care of each other. So many answered prayers and so much evidence of God’s mercy and love. Take comfort, my friend. HE LOVES YOU.
Sadden to read this news …..my dad (now 93) was diagnosed with dementia last year and seems to slowly be ‘spiraling down.’ So far he still knows us kids (mom died years ago). I share your thought re feeling like an orphan when your parents die as I felt that when mom died. Your family and friends (here and outside the blog!) share your sadness and are here for you……ox
May the Lord comfort you as you grieve. I went through the same 2 years ago except that my Dad went to heaven first and mom 2 years later in memory care. I’m so thankful that my parents brought us up in the church and that we have the assurance of eternity.
Rhoda,
I’m so sorry for your loss. I loved reading about your mom and dad. They truly lived their life by example. I especially enjoyed the pictures of your dad in his garden and working with you on your building projects. It is amazing how much energy he had. I don’t believe you ever completely heal from the passing of your parents. All you can do is be grateful for the times you shared with them and the comfort of knowing you will be with them again someday.
Oh, Rhoda – I am so sorry for your loss and am keeping your family in my prayers. What a long and wonderful life your father lived, and what a joy to have such a man as your father. May he rest in peace, rise in glory, and may his memory be a blessing forever.
Been following your blog for a long time & would like to pass along my condolences. Such a wonderful tribute to your amazing Dad. Prayers to you & your family.
Our love and prayers are with you, Renee and Lauren, and her girls. I’m so grateful you and Renee were able to have the opportunity to see him and tell him you love him and hear him tell you he loves you one more time. We were also given that grace when our mom passed last August at age 102.5. But, no matter how old they are, we are never ready to say goodbye to our parents. You put it beautifully when you mentioned it is losing your stability and foundation. He and your mom provided you girls with the best foundation and the stability of a God centered home to grow up in….a gift beyond measure. The photos you chose are so good. I can hear your precious dad’s strong voice giving thanks to God for His many blessings as he prayed before your lunches together. Thank you for sharing your parents with us…..we loved them, too.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much your parents meant to you. This is a hard time for all. I remember losing my parents and I agree. I never felt so alone. You were blessed with amazing parents who shared their love with you and all who knew them. MY heart and love are with you, God Bless.
Dear Rhoda,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear father. I hope you are comforted knowing your parents are together again. I’ve been following you almost since the beginning of your blog, and enjoyed how you and your dad were such partners in your remodeling jobs. What wonderful parent you had, they raised two dear daughters so well. My thoughts and prayers are with you during these difficult times. God
bless you and your family.
Dear Rhoda,
You were blessed for 97 years with a wonderful father and 95 years with a wonderful mother too, your memories are abundant and live on in your heart forever. My father in law lived to 98, in good health until a week before he passed. It was his time and as we all agreed, there comes a time when your parts just wear out and the lord steps in and does a very kind thing. My mother in law also lived to one week before her 98th birthday, and again, it was her time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
What exceptional parents, and you were indeed very lucky to have them as long as you did. I didn’t know your parents but felt like I did through your blog which I have been following since you lived in Birmingham. I followed all the projects your dad helped you with….and that wonderful vegetable garden of theirs! Wow! You have many fond and loving memories of them both which I know will provide you and your family with much comfort. Please accept my deepest sympathy!
I am sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family..