So many of you have been with me for years, back when I was living in Birmingham and I first introduced you all to my parents. You’ve been so supportive all these years and really fell in love with my parents. I can’t blame you, they are such loveable people. When mom passed away last year, there was such an outpouring of love for her and I appreciated all your tender and sweet words as we lost our matriarch. She was a woman of faith with big shoes to fill and we still miss her greatly. It is with great sadness that I share that our dear daddy, Albert, passed away this past week, on February 6th. This is not the post I thought I would be writing this weekend, but here we are. It came as a surprise to all of us and much faster than we anticipated, but God’s grace is sufficient and we are grateful he didn’t suffer long.
Dad’s 97th birthday last July
It’s been said that when you lose your parents, it makes you feel like an orphan. I think I’m starting to understand that now. Now that dad is gone, it makes a lot more sense to me. Losing the stability and foundation you were born with is hard to imagine and when parents are no longer on this earth, it’s a sobering reality that we are left alone and no longer have that parental bond that we all started life with. My parents were exceptional if I dare say that out loud. It’s certainly true to me. They were as close to the perfect parents that I can imagine.
This was the day before I left for the cruise, he was doing ok
I had no idea that this turn of health would happen so fast. I was just in there the day before we left for our cruise. I was gone for a week and when I got back, the facility was locked down because norovirus was rampant in the Assisted Living side. Dad is in memory care and they didn’t have any cases there, but they were being extra cautious, so outside visitors had to wait a week to come back in. When I went back this past Monday, I could hardly believe my eyes. I had talked on the phone to the care director earlier that week and I knew that his care plan had changed in January. He was needing a lot more help with daily things. I knew he was declining the last couple of months, but it sped up exponentially the last week. He was having a harder time getting up and walking, but he was still doing fine feeding himself at the table at that time. In just a week, things changed drastically and he was a completely different person when I got back in there. They told me the previous week that he had stayed in his room and they had him sitting in his chair for meals, even feeding him when he had a hard time getting the fork to his mouth. He had been sleeping more and didn’t want to get up in the morning, so all of these are signs that the body is slowing down, especially losing his appetite. He loved to eat.
Handwritten note of a song that mom wrote & left in her devotional book.
It just happened so much faster than any of us dreamed it would happen, but I’ve prayed that the Lord would take him fast and not let him suffer. My sister, Renee, was driving into town this past Monday for a scheduled visit anyway and the timing ended up being perfect. I let her and Lauren know on Monday how bad he was. After a week of not wanting to eat much and sleeping a lot more, we think he had a stroke during the night on Sunday. We didn’t get a doctor’s diagnosis on that, but he sure had the signs. It wasn’t bad enough to paralyze him, but his speech was definitely off. The staff told me he was completely different that Monday when I went in and I could see it for myself. Speaking was difficult at this time, but I was able to talk to him and he heard me and talked back. The hospice nurse was there and I met her for the first time as she took his vitals and accessed where he was. I’m so grateful they were involved just the week before, it was just in time.
My sister came in on Tuesday and the two of us fed him strawberry ice cream. We talked to him and told him how much we loved him. He told us he loved us very much as well. It was heart warming and comforting to have those final moments of communicating with him. We still didn’t know how long we would have him and on Wednesday, hospice had a hospital bed brought in so that he would be more comfortable. He passed away later that night in his sleep after midnight. My sister and I had prayed that God would take him and not let him linger and the Lord answered our prayers. He didn’t suffer long and we are so grateful for that.
Daddy was an exceptional man and we grieve his death, but we know he’s in a better place and reunited with our mama. When I went in on Monday to see him he looked up at me and said “where’s your mama”. I said she’s not here yet and we talked a little bit as I told him again that I loved him. He told me back. I asked him if he was hurting and he said no he wasn’t.
God has been so good to us as a family and given us our parents for way longer than most people get to have them. Dad was 97 and mom was 95 when she passed over a year ago. Most people don’t get their parents that long, so I have absolutely nothing to complain about. It’s just hard going through the process of watching your loved one pass from this earth. There’s no easy way to do it, except pray for grace and mercy. We got that for daddy. I know where he is and I know what’s in his heart and that gives me comfort. He loved God with all his heart. Thank you all for loving him so much. The outpouring of love on my Facebook page and Instagram page were overwhelming and I’ve tried to read every comment. He was a beloved husband, father, and grandfather, plus a retired Pastor loved by many people in the church. He outlived all of his Pastor friends and we didn’t even have a preacher to call who knew him all that well, but we will have a celebration of life service next weekend to honor this great man of God. He will be dearly missed. Even with dementia, he still had a sense of humor and was still pretty alert in spite of his disease.
Mom was in assisted living for 2 years 2 months and daddy was in memory care for 3 years, 3 months. We are so glad we moved them when we did and they had a relatively easy and contented life out of their home for their last years when they needed help the most. Memory Care facilities are God-sent places for families that need help.
Daddy and mama will be buried at the Georgia National Cemetery for Veterans, with a military ceremony and interred in a vault and we will have that service as soon as we can after the celebration service. You can see daddy’s obituary here.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my prayers.
You have been so blessed to have your parents so long and I know you realize that. Admire you and appreciate that you give God the glory.
Your parents were special people, so special that I even have talked about them to my husband who isn’t on Instagram ! They reminded me of my parents whom I lost many years ago. That was a special generation of people! My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
I am an Alabama girl and one of those who’s been following you for many years. You were in Bham when I found you, followed your home reno that your daddy was so involved in….it was such fun. You were very blessed to have had your parents so long and they were blessed as well to have such a loving daughter.
Love the words of the song your mom wrote in her journal. Will write them in my devotional journal today with her name. I am also a pastor’s wife. Not always an easy life but always a blessed life.
Rhoda: I am so sorry to learn of your Dad’s passing. I don’t care what age you are, it is still a shock and just so very sad. It is so true that you do feel like an orphan but time works wonders. My condolences to you and your family💐
Rhoda, I’ve been reading your blog since Birmingham and have enjoyed reading about your beautiful family.
I’m so sad to read about your Dad’s passing. However, I smiled today knowing is now with his wife that he loved so much. Please hold on to those beautiful memories you have to get you through your sadness. You’re in my prayers.
So sorry he is physically gone from your life but his love lives on forever. I’m thankful we have a Savior who paid for an eternity of that love together. “Well done good and faithful servant”
You’re so blessed to have had your parents for so long. I send my condolences to you and your family. God will care for them now.
Rhoda…I have been following you since you & your Daddy renovated your little house that had the black & white tile. I have enjoyed following you and loving your parents since both of mine are in heaven too! Being Southern girls…raised by Godly parents. Just know that I will be thinking of each of you during this sad time. But…we’re supposed to rejoice..that’s what my Mama Ruby always said. Your life will be so different. It’s going to take awhile to adjust to not wanting to go visit or call them. I…too….felt like an orphan when my parents passed away….even though I was #7 of 10 kids. Please know that I am thinking of you and your sweet family!Prayers and love! 🙏🏻🙏🏻✝️✝️ 💐💐🪻🌷🌼🌻🌺
I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. You were blessed with remarkable Christian parents who loved family. You will miss him and time together, but you have precious memories to help you. I especially enjoyed you post about you and your Dad remodeling the blue house. Many of your followers will keep you and family in our prayers during this sad time. May the Lord bring comfort to you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Feeling orphaned explains it perfectly. Praying for peace during this time, and the joy of shared memories.
Have always enjoyed your blog. Found you when I broke my femur in 2008 and all I could do was sit on the couch. My mom is 97 and it has helped me to follow the journey of your parents. You have blazed the trail. So sorry for your loss. Lots of people love your family because of you sharing your life. I live in Zachary, LA so enjoy the Louisiana connection as well. May God comfort you in your loss. Heaven just gets sweeter every year!!
Your post about your daddy made my tears flow. My parents passed within two years of each other over 20 years ago and I look forward to seeing them in Heaven one day. My mother wrote a narrative to be read at her funeral. It’s too long to include here, but I will paste a portion below. I include the entire writing in every sympathy card I send and as always told what an encouragement it is to them.
” So to those who grieve for me, grieve briefly only because you love me and will miss me, but at the same time, rejoice with me that I am making my transition to that shore where friends and loved one are waving and cheering my arrival.
Do as the disciples did when their beloved friend John the Baptist had died. They buried his body and then they went and told Jesus. Quickly plant my pain free body in the grave, and then you go tell Jesus about your grief. ” (Allene G. 2004)
So sorry to hear of the loss of your father. You were so blessed to
have such wonderful parents. He seemed so pleasant, as was your
mother. May the Lord be with you during this time.
Hugs and Prayers,
Angie
My deepest condolences. I lost my only sibling Jan 2010 and dad in June 2010. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2012. I cared for her til death July1, 2023. When I lost her, it hit me rather hard that I was now an orphan so I understand how you feel.
Like your dad, my dad also went in his sleep which is a huge blessing. It was hard on my mom at first but she came to appreciate that daddy didn’t suffer.
Again my condolences and my prayers are with you and your sister, and nieces. Although I enjoy all your posts, my favorites were the ones about your parents and family.
I am so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort and peace from your memories.
Thank you for always sharing your mother and father with us. I will miss seeing their smiling faces.
Rhoda, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I have followed you for years and feel as if I knew both of your dear parents. You were fortunate to have them for so long. I pray that God will give you the comfort that only He can give.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet daddy. I loved your parents through your blog for many years. May God comfort you in this sad time.
True we have never met, nor have I ever met your parents, but I’m setting here reading your post with tears running down my face. I’m so sorry to read that your Dad has passed. Both my parents have been gone for nearly a year, and I so share your feeling of “being an orphan”. It was something I had not ever thought about, but it definitely hit me after they were both gone. Also, that I have just moved to the head of the line, as the next to move on to heaven! Thank you for sharing your parents with us and I rejoice with you that they are reunited once again in heaven! You were a very loving daughter and they will be watching over you!