Today is one of those posts that I take a deep breath, click the Publish button and hope for the best.
In the going on 5 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve shared bits and pieces of my personal life along the way. If you had told me then that I would be a full time blogger in 2011, single again, without a home of my own, and living with my elderly parents, I would not have believed it. That would not even have seemed a possibility to me at the time. You just can’t plan for things like that to happen in life. Sometimes life takes a sharp left turn and you are not prepared for it.
{Two of my treasures, one of which is never too old to sit in her granddaddy’s lap}
This is not going to be a downer post, but rather one that I hope uplifts, gives glory where glory is due and gives all of you out there the shot in the arm that you might need to believe that things can be good. From bad. Faith is the key word here.
As blogging has gotten so popular in the last few years, we are all invited into each others home. Even encouraged to peek in the windows. How many times have you clicked on a blog and looked at the pretty pictures of the home, the homeowner, the homeowner’s beautiful children and cute husband and figured she has it all together? I doubt that is true in real life. None of us totally have it all together.
But the blog world sure can paint a pretty picture. We are what we portray on our blogs to the world. No one truly knows all that goes on behind the scenes of anyone’s life, but our friends and family. Those folks get to see the real us all the time. So, it’s easy to be a little wistful when we see a gorgeous home, beautiful family and think that person is so, so fortunate to be living such a good life. A dreamy life. Those glossy magazine picture perfect pics can be deceiving and no one lives the perfect life.
{Mother’s Day, 2011: my sister, Renee, Mom, Lauren and me}
My life certainly hasn’t been perfect by any means. I have been transparent at times, but I’ll spare you all the gory details of my bad choices, disappointing failures, and marital non-bliss that have been such a part of my life. You know from what I’ve shared this year, that it’s been a heartbreaking one for me on many levels. Life just doesn’t always turn out the way we plan or dream or hope for. That, my friends, is reality.
But, I’m here to tell you that there is a silver lining to the black clouds. There is hope in the midst of a storm. There is a new day and a brighter tomorrow. We all go through trials and pain and sorrow in life. There is no escaping that. The Bible gives us plenty of clues that life just ain’t always a bed of roses. God allows us to walk in the rain and brings storms into our lives, sometimes for months and we can’t always see where that is leading.
What good could possibly come out of all of the bad?
I do not have all the answers, but I’m here to give some of you hope. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a life crisis. It’s not over yet. I’m in the middle of getting a divorce. My soon-to-be (I hope) ex-husband is in jail for good reasons, related to, but none of which have anything to do with the financial devastation he has done to me (for those of you waiting for some scoop, there you go!). Maybe one day I will write that book, you never know. It is certainly an interesting story, one that I am still in disbelief over the fact that it has been a part of my life.
So, life goes on. I am alone again. I have no idea if I’ll ever find (true) love again. Do I hope that there is love for me in the future? Yes, yes I do. If God allows it, my heart would be open to it. In the meantime, I will keep doing what He has allowed me to do and continue on the path He has led me on. I will be patient and wait.
I started my own business about 3 years ago, which grew out of this blog. I love being creative and always dreamed of doing something other than working in the Corporate world and when I started blogging almost 5 years ago, I had no idea that it would turn into my dream job. Working from home. Sharing decorating and design inspiration. Talking about my travels. Sharing my family with all of you. Cooking recipes. Getting to go on fun trips. Doing life. I’m so, so grateful that God allowed it to blossom and bloom into what it is now. I’m so fortunate that He has blessed me so much just since I moved back home with my parents in April. So many new doors have opened and opportunities have come my way. It makes me all teary-eyed to think about it.
Is there anything I’ve done to make this happen? No, not at all. God has done it for me. I’m not getting rich from blogging, by any means. But, he has allowed this to become my source of income. Something that I love to do. Some days, I will tell you that I get sad and a little down, remembering what I used to have. I had a nice house, 2 of them in fact. Now I have neither. I miss having a house that is mine to do with what I want to do. I miss being creative and having fun with that. Being a blogger can just magnify that part too.
But, you know what? That is OK. I have to believe that I will have a house again. So many folks in this country are going through hard times. Many have lost jobs and lost homes. These are tough times. I am not alone. I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life and be content in my circumstances. Peace and contentment cannot be purchased. They are priceless. I may never have the financial security I thought I once had again. That is up to the Lord too.
I have to remind myself daily that I’ve got SO much to be thankful for and believe me, I AM thankful. God has allowed me to still have my parents at my age. They could easily have been gone already, but they are here for me. They love me unconditionally and give me the emotional support I need all the time, as do my whole family and my wonderful friends. I am grateful for all of them!
So, if you are going through a hard time, let me just remind you, that God is still there. He cares. Ask Him to help you and He will. He might not do it the way you expect, but He will always, always take care of his children. I’m a testimony to that. I have no idea what my future holds. This whole blogging thing just might blow up and we all may be on the street and if it does, that is OK too. I know that He will take care of me.
Let me just take this opportunity to once again thank all of YOU out there who faithfully come to visit me. Each and every day. Many of you just lurk and never leave comments and that is OK too. I know you are out there and I’m grateful that you take a little bit of your precious time each day to spend with me. I don’t take that for granted.
If you have always dreamed of doing something from home (or not from home) and never had the chance, I want to encourage you to give it a try. You never know if you don’t try. I started my business with the hopes of having a full fledged decorating business and it has turned out not so much about that as being able to write and share about decorating through this blog. I would love to develop that side of my business more and maybe it will come with time. In the meantime, I continue to do what I’m doing and as long as it is blessed, I will stay on this road. I consider this blog my ministry of sorts too.
Don’t give up! If you have dreams that have never been fulfilled, don’t give up. It’s not too late. If I can reinvent myself in my mid-50’s, you can certainly do it too. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams and do what you are passionate about and I truly believe you will find a way to be successful at it.
So, that’s it! That’s my pep talk for today. I hope my being vulnerable will help someone else realize that you, too have much to offer and a God-given talent that you can use as well, to fulfill those long ago dreams that you might have been putting off. Waiting for another day.
As the old Nike tag line says, Just Do It!
What are you dreaming of? Please tell me, I want to know.Is there something you’ve wanted to try and haven’t because of fear or uncertainty?
{I’ve been camping out in the old Streams in the Desert devotional this year and there are some great nuggets in there. Psalms 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy oh Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands}.
jill wilhelm says
Hi Rhonda,
I met someone today that told me about you, and I am so glad that she did. I told her that I redo furniture and blog and that is when you came up. She told me that one of the things that she loves about you is your story and that you have a “put it all out there” personality. I love that. I know that we tend to hide behind our blog and try to seem as perfect as all of the other bloggers (who are most likely just like the rest of us….trying to seem perfect.) But life is far from it! I dream of making some sort of income doing this, not because it is all I can do, but because I love it so much! We don’t have 2 nickles to rub together, my husband hasn’t been able to find a job for far too long, we have 3 little kids and I still thank God that somehow we still have a roof over our heads. I love that you started this off my saying it is not a downer post but rather an uplifting post. I try to find the good in all of the bad and there IS always good. All things happen for a reason, even if we do have to go through a sort of hell to get to the reason of why things happen. Sometimes one chapter of our life has to close to get to the good chapter. I would rather have 1 small home filled with lots of happy, than 2 homes filled with deceit and misery. Maybe one day I’ll get brave enough to share the more personal part of my life, but for now I’ll just stick to posting about the parts of my life that I love, my kids, my furniture, and my blog! I would love to hear how you personally started to make an income from your blog (if you don’t mind at all!) and if you have some time I would love for you to come by!! I look forward to following your posts!!
~jill
iknowtheplansihave4you.blogspot.com
Jo Rae says
A friend read your blog and forwarded it to me. So much of what you’ve gone through I’ve experienced.
You’re a beautiful, unrepeatable woman of God. I know He has great plans for you. Keep the faith~
Blessings,
Jo Rae
Denise Cosgrove says
Rhoda, you are beautiful woman and living proof of a deep faith in God. Your story, your talent, and your heart all inspire me. You have given me hope to continue to go for my dreams. I pray God’s richest and best blessings on your life today and ….Always, Denise Cosgrove
Jessica @ Stay at Home-ista says
Rhoda- That was lovely. Thank you for being so brave and sharing with the rest of us. I watched my mother go through 2 divorces, one in her late thirties, the other in her late forties, and I saw how she had to reinvent herself each time.
I had always dremaed of being an architect and building my dream home. Well, I did it. My husband and I met in architecture school and we just moved in (9 months ago), to the home that I designed. It was an arduous 4 years (during which time I had 2 kids!), but then we were living in it. Now we have had our third child, and that idyllic, magaize-worthy life wasn’t as fulfilling ans hte jectic, cramped in a too small house, building process was. So I decided ot start a blog, to give validation to my choices to stay at hoem with the kids, and to just be happy in our home. I’m loving the support from teh blogosphere, and the motivation it gives me to decorate the house and make it personal on the details level.
Karen Thomas says
Hi Rhoda,
I have been following your blog for a bit now and was reading this morning about you finding your new home! Congratulations on that!! Some of the things that you said in that post led me to find your story and I just had to comment on this.
My life was also turned upside down… after a 30 year marriage… due to financial indiscretions (trying to keep it nice..) of my ex husband. That, in and of itself, wasn’t a devastation to me. I was happily kicking along, living in a little apartment. I had actually qualified for a home and was making plans to move in and re-boot my life when the idiotic idea to re-marry planted itself in my head. This was someone that I had met through Match.com and had only “known” for a month or two. I will spare you the embarassing details. After 2 1/2 years of abuse, I found the strength to show him the door and end the marriage. The period I spent with him had horrific effects on my financial state. I had to file bankruptcy, almost lost my beloved house (have finally, after a year of wrangling with BOA, gotten a loan modification), sank into a deep clinical depression, gained 50 pounds, acquired high blood pressure and a multitude of other health problems.
My house was unloved. I couldn’t find motivation to love her. And then last October as I was trying to whip up an idea for Christmas gifts, I discovered decorating blogs.
I can honestly say that wonderful, inspirational women like you saved my life. Gave me reason to hope and to fight. I looked up, embraced my heavenly father again and started to drag myself out of the pit I had become so entrenched in. I gradually weaned myself off of the anti-depression meds and joined life again.
Now, I am re-loving furniture, painting, decorating, thrifting, and enjoying my children and grandchildren. Hoping to start a blog myself one day.
I wish you all good luck and will pray for your journey. Your parents are precious. My dad just celebrated his 83rd birthday and my mother will be 81 in August. I am fortunate to have my entire family (parents, sisters, children and grandchildren) living close by.
I am also a GRITS girl…. I live in Social Circle.
Susanne says
Thank you Rhoda for sharing yourself. I’m in my mid 50’s under going a reconstruction as well. I have lived with my parents, will be financially “unfit” by many of today’s standards, but I have found love again in middle age. I now live in a very modest 1940’s Cape that my beloved has lived in for 20+ years. It now needs a total rennovation and a woman’s touch. Our budgets are as modest as the home itself. I look forward your help, tips and inspiration on my daunting mission to turn this house into a home. Your courage and words brought tears to my eyes. I hope with all my heart that you find what it is that your heart seeks. I have a very strong and sneaking suspicion that the back nine of your life ( a phrase loving used by “my beloved” boyfriend sounds so silly when in our 50’s…lol ) will be equal or even better than the front 9. I’m very pleased to meet you. Susanne
Brenda says
Thank you for this post. It is truly inspiring and full of hope. What a testimony to God’s boundless love and grace! Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable–you are helping so many women by telling your story.
What a talented lady you are! Talent and a big heart for others–what a great combination. May the Lord bless you and your endeavors.
Denise says
I have just started following (lurking, since this is my first comment!) and I had to go back and read this article after seeing the closing on your house! I am truly impressed that your struggles have given you such faith! After my husband of 26 years and I separated in 2009, I would go to my second job every night, worrying, and wondering, ‘what am I going to do’? You see, I would have lost my home too. Maybe some of my inheritance as well. But there also comes a peace when you realize that really is not such a big deal, sure it will hurt, but we can go on. The Lord decided what was best, and took him 5 months after our separation. It was not what I would have chosen for the father of my children, but neither was it my decision. We must trust that the Lord knows what He is about! I plan to keep reading your blog! I hope one day I have the courage to reach out to others as well! Enjoy your new home!!
Mary says
Rhoda, I love your blog and have been following for a couple of months. I’ve read your story and find you have come so far in the past year. I can relate to your story. Your outlook on the journey ahead is inspirational. I’m thrilled you have found a new place to call home. Can’t wait to see the progress on your new place! Peace be with you.
Lolita Hayes says
Dear Rhoda;
I just discovered your blog today via My blessed Life. I believe there are no coincidences, but divine interactions.
Last week I finally had closure on a marraige that had become very toxic to me. I knew early on that I had made a bad choice but it took me many years to find the courage to “let go, let God, and go on” I know I made the right decision, but it is still bitterweet nevertheless.
I am still in the desert place but am being constantly reminded of God’s great faithfulness to me in the direst of circumstances. In the past year and a half I have only worked for 6 months, and have had 5 surgeries. I am currently not working, recovering from back surgery and may possibly have to go back to have another surgery because I am still in severe pain.
I like you, am very creative and would appreciate any tips on creating a blog that would utilize my gifts ( writing, cooking, crafting, painting, floral design, decorating etc) to bless others and possibly eventually generate a little income on the side. I want to start living a passionate, creative, and authentic life because at 56, I want the rest of my life to be not filled with regret. Although I have tried to start a blog, It is not what I envision it to be. I know you are a busy woman, but if you could repy to me at my email, I would appreciate it so very much.
God bless you!
Lolita (Lulabelle)
Diane Daugherty says
I stumbled across your blog today looking for a way to redo my stair case rail (I will try the Minwax! Thank you). I’ll be coming back – love your heart and vulnerability. It reminds me of a quote I read in Max Lucado’s book “Fearless” – Feed your fears and your faith will starve…feed your faith and your fears will. Blessings! Diane
Sandy says
Dearest Rhoda,
Thank you for your openess. You are truly a blessing. I love your website and look forward to seeing more of what you’re doing with your fixer upper house!
You are an inspiration in more ways than just decorating.
Peace be with you…and your parents. They sound like good people to me.
Sandy
Suzie says
You are truely an inspiration!
Blessings to you and yours.
Suzie
Lilli says
Simply stumbled onto your website today — I had thought by accident, however I’ve discovered that those moments that speak to your soul do not happen by accident. I’m 61. On April 9, 2010 the absolute unthinkable happened. I discovered my husband of 36 years was having an affair with a co-worker. I was truly, truly blindsided. I had no idea, no inkling. My trust is now shattered. There is a hole in my heart that refuses to heal. Over the next year, I changed, in some ways for the better, in some ways not. We didn’t divorce — neither of us wanted that–but unfortunately, for reasons I cannot go into here, he cannot change jobs. He still works with her, and I have to deal with that on a daily basis. Before that happened, I was, like you, happy in my creativity. I was a free-lance writer, and decorating my home was my passionate hobby. Now, I’ve lost all motivation for anything creative. I’ve gone back to school to finish a degree because I will never trust again that there will be someone to help take care of me in my old age. I’ve felt disheartened because of my age, but reading your blog has brightened my outlook. I CAN do this! Bless you.
Sarah says
I have just been reading about your journey and I want to say “amen” to what you have said. Our God is so very good, like you I have walked thru the dark valley of divorce and like you, I know how God loves His children and how he cares for us. Like Lilli, I was 62 when he found someone else, after over 40 years of marriage. However, walking thru this valley has brought me closer to God than I have ever been, He has guided me, protected me and given me more than I ever could have imagined. Thank you for sharing your life, I wish I could have read it when it was all fresh to me and I was so afraid of the unknown. God’s Blessings!
R says
Thank you so much for such an inspiring post. I’m sure it gave hope to many that are also struggling with hard times. I know that I am personally blessed by the words of wisdom that you offered and I’m sure that you will be blessed far beyond what you have lost in the past. I’m looking forward to reading about just how God has blessed you! Your passion is definitely evident so you are destined to be greatly rewarded for your efforts. Thanks for sharing!
Karen June Miller says
Rhoda…
I obviously had a great deal of catching up to do. The upheaval in my own life over the past 5 years has swung me in and out of my blogging routine. Often, just writing posts was therapy and I was not doing much visiting. I believe you and I began blogging around the same time. I know we can both agree that we had no idea where an online journal would take us.
Unlike you, I have never owned a home. Almost 28 years of marriage has had enough bumps in it that purchasing a home has never panned out. I have done my best with rental homes, always grabbing inspiration from life, magazines, and blogs. June Cleaver was iconic for me as a kid. My mom was never like that and I entertained the fantasy of a perfect life. I know better now. I have even learned to love the imperfections because those seem to be the Lord’s greatest building materials in my life.
Blogging has taught me to be truthful. Masquerades serve no one and often just leave women feeling bad about themselves. This is why I am so moved by your piece here. Your transparency is like a salve. You are proving that, through the Lord’s strength, you are a conduit that can-do-it! God takes what the enemy intends for evil and turns it around for good. The blessing is that we get to enjoy the ride — never surprised that God can work things out — but surprised by how He does it!
Even now, I have a son in detention, a God-fearing husband going through major midlife adjustments, and I am living in a mountain home without transportation of my own. I am used to more mobility and freedom. Yet, God is up to something. Reinvention, Hope, and Faith are the operative words.
Rhoda, I am so happy to be on board for this wonderful Praise Report God is assmebling! May the rest of your life be the BEST of your life!
Smiles,
Karen
Idaho
Dorca says
I found your blog today as I was going from blog to blog looking at fall decorating ideas (even though I already decorated my apartment). Wow your story really has giving me hope like you I have gone thru major changes in the past 6 years from my marriage of 25 five years breaking to losing everything financially even my house having to start over again. During that time I also lost three of my siblings but by the grace of GOD I’m still standing and even thought I had to start over again like you having to move in with my sister for a year then I moved to my apartment and started from zero. I was doing good until April this year I had major surgery and was out of my job for 10 weeks I went back to work and after 31 years I lost my job they just simply let me go. Now I’m home and I really don’t know what to do how do I start over again I love decoarating my home and helping other people decorate my sister says I should look into going to school for interior design but I really don’t know what to do is hard to start over. It was kind of a shock loosing my job but only my faith in GOD and the knowledge that He knows what is good for me keeps me going. Thanks for sharing your story it lets me know that I can start over again and as long as I have God, family and faith I will go on.
Francie says
All I can say is ………..Thank you!!!! I found your site looking for information on painting vintage furniture black, and I have been following your blogs since. I found much more than i was looking for, besides wonderful directions and ideas, you helped renew my spirit on one of those not so great days. I have no clue how I found your site, then I remembered something my mom said once “you are always right where you are supposed to be” ………..life makes crazy turns, thanks for the inspirations, with decorating and with the heart!
francie
katie says
A friend told me about your blog. I thought it would be all about decorating. I used to love to do that.but circumstances have made it a bit harder. I felt like I was reading my own words. I honestly spend a lot of time thinking that I was dealt such a terrible mess to deal with. It seems as if you too have been through the unimaginable. My husband stole my life savings and got us both in terrible straits. I knew I had to leave when things started surfacing. It has been a year of struggle and disbelief. Disbelief that someone I loved and thought I would be with forever could do such horrific things. At 62 I find myself living in an apartment and wondering what lies ahead. However, after reading some of your story I feel that there is a brighter tomorrow. Thanks so much for sharing your story. It has truly given me a renewed hope. Best of everything to you ! Katie